Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Crime Can Be A Vicious Cycle
    (1,744 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Coupon Complications!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Home Improvement

    Stupid customers still have to live somewhere. While we applaud them for sometimes wanting to make the place look nice, please don’t assume flat-pack furniture comes ready out of the box, or that power-tools are named as such because they need power! They make Tim The Toolman Taylor look like Frank Gehry!

    There Is Mulch To Joke About

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

    (I work as a cashier at a store that sells home improvement merchandise. I am working in the garden center. If the customer needs a large quantity of something they will pay for it first and pick it up in the parking lot where we keep a huge supply of mulch, soil, etc.)

    Customer: “Can I get 20 bags of mulch?”

    Me: *completely straight face* “No.”

    Customer: *dumbfounded look on his face* “Umm…”

    Coworker: “[My Name]!”

    Me: *with a huge smile on my face* “Of course you can!”

    (I ring the customer up and my coworker speaks to him.)

    Coworker: “Sorry about that, sir. She is mean to every 25th customer. Looks like you were the 25th.”

    (The customer paid and was chuckling and smiling as he walked out to his vehicle.)

    Not In Good Company

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s my first week on the job, working in a retail store selling bed linen, table linen etc. I take a phone call.)

    Caller: “I was in [different store] and they said you had covers for futons.”

    Me: “I’ll just check for you.” *put the phone on hold, and turn to a coworker* “Do we have futon covers?”

    Coworker: “No, but sometimes king sized quilt covers fit them.”

    Me: *gets back on phone* “No, I’m sorry. We don’t have futon covers but we do have king sized quilt covers that might fit.”

    Caller: “No, king quilt covers are too small for my futon and [different store] said that you would have them.”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry. We don’t.”

    Caller: “But [different store] said that you had them.”

    Me: “They are mistaken. We don’t.”

    Caller: “They said you had them.”

    Me:  ”No, we don’t. The closest thing we have is king sized quilt covers.”

    Caller: “But [different store] said that you had them!”

    Me: “Maybe you could ring them back.”

    Caller: “Why?”

    Me: “To ask them exactly where we keep them. They seem to know more about this shop than I do.”

    Caller: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, they’ve told you that we, in a completely different company, have them and you believe them over me, who actually works in the company.”

    Caller: “Oh, you don’t have any?”

    Me: “No.”

    Caller: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Caller: “Okay, bye.” *click*

    Annoying Customers Are A Sure Thing

    | Sydney, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Home Improvement, Theme Of The Month

    (We have a customer who always comes in looking for things to buy for wedding presents and then a week or two later would return them. She is a real time waster.)

    Customer: “I need this in queen size. It’s for a wedding present.”

    Me: “Have you looked on the lower shelf of the table? There might be one there.”

    Customer: “You do it. I can’t bend.”

    Me: *gets down to check* “No, sorry. There’s none here.”

    Customer: *cocking her head sideways, with what she thinks is a cute look* “Are you sure?”

    Me: “I’ll double check with someone else.” *to coworker* “Do we have any more of this design in queen?”

    Coworker: *in full hearing of the customer* “No, and we can’t get anymore in. They are discontinued.”

    Me: *turning to customer* “Sorry, we don’t have any left.”

    Customer: *as always, with what she thinks is a cute look on her face, she cocks her head sideways* “Are you sure?”

    Me: “You just heard me ask for you and heard the answer. Yes, I am sure.”

    (After what seemed ages she finally bought something else and then two weeks later returned it. As usual, the recipient’s bed was the wrong size and she had already bought them something else.)

    A Customer’s Behavior Can Cut You In Half

    | WV, USA | Crazy Requests, Home Improvement, Wild & Unruly

    (I work as a weekday team member at a home improvement store, mostly in the lumber yard. I am already having a rough day, and a customer asks me if I could cut her a piece of plywood, but our wood cutter is currently out of service. Her pleasant demeanor instantly turns sour.)

    Customer: “The fact that your saw is broken is unacceptable! My mother is sitting outside in her vehicle, and she just had open-heart surgery! I don’t have time for this!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry that our saw is broken, ma’am, but I could call the store across town for you and see if their saw is functioning—”

    Customer: “No! I don’t want to go to the other store! I spent $20 in gas just to f****** get here!”

    Me: “Yet again, I do apologize for the inconvenience—”

    (The customer obviously does not hear me, and continues shouting.)

    Customer: “F*** you! I want my wood cut! I’ll break it in half myself if I have to!”

    (At this point, the customer is so angry, I am afraid she will try to physically harm me. Two managers on duty overhear the ordeal and walk over.)

    Manager #1: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but as our associate has already told you, our saw is currently out of service, and is due to be replaced shortly. If you would like, we might have a circular saw in the back that we could use to cut it for you—”

    Customer: “This is f****** crazy! I don’t understand why you can’t fix the saw! My mother is still out in the vehicle, and I don’t have time for your bulls***!”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you don’t mind waiting here, I could go get the saw for you and cut it.”

    Customer: “Are you f****** kidding me?! I’ve been in the store for over two hours, and you expect me to wait while you go f*** around, and probably not even come back!?”

    (After more rambling, she finally agrees to wait. She then says she is going to go outside and ‘cool off.’ After I retrieve the circular saw, I then go outside to look for the customer. I find her in her car, with her feet up on the steering wheel, smoking a cigarette alongside her mother, who, for having ‘open-heart surgery’, is smoking as well. Customer recognizes me and then shoos me away, and I go back inside. After 25 minutes or so, the customer finally comes back inside, and this time, her ‘recovering’ mother has come in to do some paint shopping.)

    Customer: “Is anyone going to f****** help me, or am I going to have to start shooting people to get attention?”

    Manager #2: “Excuse me, ma’am, is that really necessary? Our associate went looking for you, and it has been over half an hour.”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am, but I am ready to cut this wood for you, as soon as you tell me the lengths you want.”

    Customer: “I want you to cut it the f*** in half!”

    Me: “Would you like me to rip it for you, or cut it in 4×4 sections?”

    Customer: “Go ahead and f****** rip it. And stop wasting my time!”

    (I proceed to rip the plywood into two foot by eight foot sections, but as it turns out, this was wrong. At this point, the two managers have left me to deal with this customer, because they felt that I had the situation under control.)

    Customer: “You f****** dips***! Why did you cut my wood like that?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you told me to rip it—”

    Customer: “No, I said in HALF!”

    Me: “What did you mean, 4×4 sections?”

    Customer: “Yes, that’s what I f****** said the first time!”

    (Managers have overheard this as well, and came back over to assist.)

    Manager #1: “Ma’am, we would be happy to get you a new piece of wood, but if you would have clarified exactly what you wanted, we stock wood in the dimensions you wanted, and you would have been out of here two hours ago.”

    Customer: “I don’t give a s***! I just want my wood cut!”

    (Thoroughly annoyed and ready to snap, I reluctantly retrieve a new piece of wood, and agree to re-cut it for her.)

    Customer: “About f****** time! Thank you for wasting my life!”

    Me: “Gladly.”

    (Because of the violent nature of this customer, and because of her threats, the managers finally sent her out of the store, with her precious wood- for free. We didn’t want to give her any excuse to come back and we were thankful nothing else happened! Because of this whole ordeal, the managers allowed me to sit in the break room for a few minutes to cool off. Hopefully, that is the first AND last time I receive a death threat in the workplace.)

    Their True Colors Are Off-Color

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Bizarre, Home Improvement

    (I work in a custom shirt shop. We have a lot of variety in our shirts that we keep in stock, trying to have two-three shades of all the basic colors. However, more unique colors don’t have a high turn over, and we try to keep our overstock as low as possible to keep down costs. This customer had had shirts designed by us before on a basic light brown but now wants some brighter, spring colors.)

    Customer: “There’s this really pretty coral that’s popular right now. Do you have anything in a coral?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We just have a few shades in the more basic colors. I have a couple shades of pink I could show you.”

    Customer: *pointing to two shirts on the wall* “Well, that shirt over there is more of an orange, but the colors on this fox here is more of an umber. Do you have any shirts closer to an umber?”

    Me: “Again, we tend to have just a couple shades in the basic color palette. I could show you our two oranges.”

    Customer: “No, no, that’s more of a rust! I don’t want another fall color. I want something brighter.”

    Me: “Well, that’s called ‘Tennessee Orange,’ and that one is ‘Safety Orange.’ Those are the only oranges we have.”

    Customer: “What about something in more of a fuschia-y salmon?”

    Me: “I have pink. I have neon pink and dark pink. Would you like to see the two shades of pink?”

    Customer: “Well, I also like purple, but I don’t want a royal purple. What about something in like a mauve?”

    Me: “I have purple. I have dark purple and light purple. I can bring out two samples and show you our shades of purple.”

    Customer: “Well what colors DO you have?!”

    Me:  ”Basic colors, two-three shades of each. Red, yellow, blue…”

    Customer: “Let me see your blue.”

    (I FINALLY bring out the three shades of blue we have, hoping she likes one.”

    Customer: “Is this ALL you have?”

    Me: “Yes, we have three shades of blue. These three shades. Royal, turquoise, and light blue.”

    Customer: “Fine. I will take the BABY blue.”

    Me: “You mean this one… the light blue, right?”

    (All I can think is someone had the big box of crayons as a kid and felt like showing off!)

    Page 3/1212345...Last