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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Christmas Consideration

    | Richmond, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is the Saturday after Thanksgiving. There is only one register open as the day is just beginning. My shopping cart is filled with three dozen books and other sundry items.)

    Cashier: “Good morning. Can I interest you in signing up today for a [Store] card? You’ll save on future purchases here at [Store].”

    Me: “Only if you open a second register to help the lady behind me.”

    (We both turn at look at a 40-ish female carrying at least a dozen different items. She can barely see or carry her load.)

    Cashier: “Madam, we can help you at lane two. We’ve just opened it.”

    Me: *to the cashier* “Thank you. My name is…”

    (Registering for the card and checking out took just a few minutes. Stay classy out there, fellow Christmas shoppers!)

    The High Point Of Black Friday

    | ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a chocolatier. We’ve opened at midnight for our Black Friday sale. My job is to greet shoppers as they come in and offer everyone a sample. By 4 am I’m exhausted from the rush. A customer comes in. He is red faced, and wearing a shirt several sizes too small.)

    Customer: “Hey. You know what? I’ve always thought you guys should sell chocolate belly buttons!”

    Me: “Um… I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “You should sell chocolate belly buttons!”

    (The customer takes a sample, and then leaves. I turn to my manager.)

    Me: “What was that?”

    Manager: “Oh, he was definitely high. Welcome to Black Friday sales!”

    Makes You Either Laugh Or Cry, I’m Telling You Why

    , | UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working on a till in the run-up to Christmas. I’m 20, but I look a bit younger. A customer and I have been chatting about her plans for the day ahead.)

    Customer: “Do you work here full-time?”

    Me: “No. I’m actually only on contract for eight hours per week, but I’m doing about thirty at the moment, with Christmas coming up.”

    Customer: “Oh. I don’t know about all that. I say to my children, they’re about your age, I think you’re old enough to know by now—” *drops into a stage whisper* “—there’s no Father Christmas. Thank you. Have a nice day!”

    (When the customer is gone, my supervisor comes over.)

    Supervisor: “You look like you’re in shock. What happened?”

    Me: “She told me Santa’s not real…”

    Gifted At Bad Gift Wrapping

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Holidays, Love/Romance, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Would you like me to gift wrap that for you?”

    Customer: “Yes. But can you make it look a bit crap so my girlfriend thinks I did it?”

    Milking The Holidays For All Their Worth

    | Kent, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    Customer: *looking at store times* “So you’re closed Christmas Day and Boxing Day?”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Customer: “So your manager thinks it’s acceptable for you to close Christmas Day and Boxing Day? One day just isn’t enough for you greedy swines? What if I, say, need some milk?”

    Me: “Don’t worry. I will leave my family and come serve you your milk.”

    Customer: “So you should.”

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