Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

Be Open-Minded About Holiday Closing

| KY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It is Christmas Eve and we are closing at six pm. The manager is standing by the front door telling the customers we are closing in five minutes. A customer runs in.)

Manager: “Excuse me, ma’am. Just to let you know we are closing in five minutes.”

Customer: “But I have a lot I need to get.”

Manager:  “Yes but we are closing at six pm so our employees can be with their families tonight.”

Customer: *in a huff* “Well, in that case I am going to [Competitor] across the street.”

Manager: “Then you’d best hurry; they are closing at six tonight, too.”

Customer: “What? Why?”

Manager: “Because it’s Christmas Eve and their employees want to be with their families, too.”

Customer: “Well, what time do you open tomorrow?”

Manager: “We’re closed all day tomorrow. It’s Christmas.”

Customer: “What about [Competitor]?”

Manager: “They’re closed, too. Same reason.”

Customer: “Well, that is so rude!”

(The customer storms off. The manager locks the door after her.)

Manager: “I haven’t worked retail for 38 years for nothing.”

Make The Yule-tide Gay

| Folkestone, England, UK | Bigotry, Holidays

(I am browsing the Christmas cards. Next to me is a man also looking at the cards. He has two different ‘for my brother and his boyfriend at Christmas’ cards in his hand, deciding which one he wants. A woman walks past.)

Woman: “Disgusting! They shouldn’t sell such filthy cards in this shop!”

Man: “Um…”

Woman: “It’s a sin! Political correctness gone mad! They should NOT be promoting queers!”

Man: “Er…”

Woman: “What sort of thing does that say to my children?”

Man: “It would say that I would like to say ‘Merry Christmas’ to my brother and his wonderful boyfriend, whom the whole family adores, and it would teach them tolerance and understanding of others.”

Woman: “Well!” *storms off*

Man: *sweetly* “Merry Christmas!”

Unhappy Holidays, Part 2

| Panama | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(We’ve been told not to say Merry Christmas to the customers at work and to say Happy Holidays instead, as someone might get offended. But sometimes, once or twice a day, a Merry Christmas will slip out, and this happens one of those times.)

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

Customer: “No, that will be all. Thank you!”

Me: “Thanks to you for calling. Have a nice day and a Merry Christmas.”

Customer: “What did you just say?”

Me: “Thanks to you for calling—”

Customer: “Don’t you dare! You said Merry Christmas! I don’t celebrate Christmas! I’m an atheist! Do you know how offended I am?”

Me: “I’m really sorry, sir. I didn’t mean to offend you. ”

Customer: “I want to speak with your supervisor immediately!”

(I go get a supervisor and I explain him what happen, and as it is something normal to happen, she goes to the phone to apologize to the customer.)

Supervisor: “Thank you for holding, sir. The agent explained to me what happened and I’m really sorry about this occurrence, and I can assure you it won’t happen again.”

Customer: “What kind of sick people are y’all hiring? I’m an Atheist, why will you wish me a Merry Christmas?”

Supervisor: “Again, sir, I’m really sorry about that. But as it happens I don’t celebrate Christmas either and I’m not creating a fuss about people telling me Merry Christmas! So suck it up, get a life, and stop calling for this!”

(Later on, she explained to me that this guy had been calling several times during the day for the same thing, waiting for someone to wish him a Merry Christmas.)

Related:

Unhappy Holidays

Christmas Eve Reprieve

| Philadelphia, PA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am a pet groomer in a very affluent part of town. It’s Christmas Eve and people have been calling and showing up all day expecting to have their pets groomed on the spot. I’ve been dealing with irate clients all day who don’t understand why I’m not open Christmas Day, when a regular calls:)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Regular: “Are you open today?”

Me: “Yes, but we’re all booked up-”

Regular: “Are you open late tonight?”

Me: *sighs* “We’re open this evening, yes, but—”

Regular: “Great, I’ll be by around 5:30.” *click*

(Sure enough, the customer shows up at 5:30 knocking on the door.)

Me: “Hi, [Regular], I actually don’t have any spots open…”

Regular: “Oh, I assumed. I just wanted to bring you a Christmas card and some special dog treats for you. You’re always so accommodating and wonderful. I just wanted to say thank you. Merry Christmas!” *whisks away*

Me: *speechless*

The Hairs Are Out Of Place

| Sydney, NSW, Australia | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s a week or two before Christmas, and like usual, my mother has taken my brothers to get their hair cut. Although I’m not getting my hair cut myself, I tag along since we’re going gift shopping afterwards. As my youngest brother is sitting in the chair, the lady across the aisle from him is holding a particularly loud conversation with her hairdresser, who is agreeing with what she says to keep her calm, although he doesn’t actually agree with her at all.)

Lady: “Oh, I just hate Christmas!”

Hairdresser: “Why’s that?”

Lady: “It’s such a stressful time of year! I mean, you’re expected to buy gifts, put up a tree, decorate, and to top it all off, the wives have to cook the meals and host the family!”

Hairdresser: “Yes, it can be hard, can’t it?”

Lady: “I don’t get why we can’t all just up and leave! Why should we have to put up with this dratted holiday? It’s not a holiday at all! We have to slave away in the kitchens for hours, and what do we get for it? It’s a social issue; that’s what it is.”

Hairdresser: “It is hard. I would agree with you there.”

Lady: “Honestly, why people bother. They need a life; that’s what they need.”

(By this stage, I had had enough, as Christmas is my favourite holiday and don’t enjoy it being dissed. Against my better judgement – and somewhat to my mother’s horror – I step in.)

Me: “Excuse me, lady. ”

Lady: “You talking to me?”

Me: “Yes, I am talking to you. I appreciate that Christmas can be a stressful time. You don’t have to enjoy it. If you don’t, then don’t celebrate it. But please, the rest of us love and enjoy Christmas. In case you haven’t noticed, this hairdresser shop has both tinsel and lights up, as well as a tree, and has carols playing in the background. I think I am speaking for all of us here when I say that we love Christmas, and we don’t appreciate having our holiday ruined by someone who is too much of a Scrooge to realise what the holiday is all about.”

Lady: “Well I never! [Hairdresser], kick this young girl out at once! I won’t have her treating me in such a way!”

Hairdresser: “Actually, ma’am, she’s a regular here, and has had her hair cut here every year since she was born. Also, she has a point. You’ve done nothing but complain about this time of year which is supposed to be about love, generosity, peace, kindness, and joy. You have spent the past 30 minutes disturbing our other customers and potentially ruining their holiday season with your miserable ways. If it weren’t for the fact that you’ve only had half your hair cut, it is sopping wet and you’re under the hair dryer, I would have kicked you out myself a good 15 minutes ago for being a public disturbance. Now please, allow me to finish your haircut in peace and then leave the premises immediately.”

Lady: “This is disgraceful! Not in the spirit of Christmas at all! I’m leaving!”

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