Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

Fits The Bill Of A Criminal

| England, UK | At The Checkout, Criminal/Illegal, Holidays, Liars & Scammers, Money, Theme Of The Month

(A couple of years back I worked as a Christmas temp at a major supermarket during a year off from university course. It is in the middle of a very busy shift.)

Customer: *walks up to checkout with two very expensive electrical items*

Me: “Hello, sir.” *scans items* “That will be £380 please.”

Customer: *hands me a wad of £20 notes*

Me: “Thank you very much.”

(I start to count money out in front of him while also checking each note for authenticity.)

Customer: *suddenly aggressive* “What are you doing?”

Me: “I have to check that this is the correct amount of money and it is our policy to ensure that all notes are genuine. I do the same for all notes I get handed.”

Customer: *grabs notes and starts to count them out in front of me quickly*

Me: “Sir, I need to count the money myself so I can check each note.”

Customer: “I am not a criminal!”

Me: *getting suspicious* “I am not saying you are, sir. I am only doing my job as thoroughly as I can. Sometimes fake notes can be picked up by accident and the person who has them is not aware they are fake. But if I were to allow one into the till it could be passed to another customer and at that point the shop would have committed a criminal offence and could be held liable. I need to check the notes.”

(I pick up the notes and start to check them again.)

Customer: “I AM NOT A CRIMINAL!”

(The manager comes over at the noise.)

Me: “Please calm down, sir!”

Manager: “[My Name], what is going on?!”

Me: “This gentleman is not allowing me to check and count his money.”

Manager: “Please calm down, sir, or we will have to call security.”

Customer: *screaming at the top of his lungs* “I AM NOT A CRIMINAL! WHY ARE YOU TREATING ME LIKE THIS?! I WILL F****** SLIT YOUR THROAT, YOU F****** B****!”

(Security came running over and the customer was restrained. When we checked his money all but £100 of it was fake. The police were called.)

Restoring Faith In Humanity All Over The Snow Globe

| USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(Around Christmas, I’m at a large convenience store buying groceries when I hear the sound of glass breaking and a child’s shriek. I drop what I am doing and run to the aisle to find a two- or three-year-old boy staring at a shattered snow globe. The poor kid bursts into tears:)

Boy: “I sorry, Mommy! I sorry!”

(To her credit, the mom remains completely calm and assures her son that she knew he hadn’t done it on purpose, but that she would have to pay for it. I start clearing away the glass to keep the toddler from getting cut while his mother tries to calm him when an employee shows up.)

Employee: “Oh, my goodness! Are you okay, sweetie?”

Boy: *sobbing* “I sorry! I broke it!”

Employee: *grabbing a broom* “It’s okay, honey. That’s why they’re called accidents. Just stand over there with your mommy so this glass doesn’t cut you.”

(She kept up a stream of friendly chatter the whole time, reassuring the boy that he wasn’t in trouble. She was so sweet, whoever she was!)

In A Happy Holi-daze, Part 2

| NY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Happy Holidays!”

Customer: “It’s Merry Christmas you heathen!”

Me: “Really? I had no idea they cancelled Hanukkah, Ashura, Ramadan, and Yule this year!”

I’m Driving Thru For Christmas

, | Vernon, BC, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(We close on Christmas Eve at 3:00 pm, and all employees get the duration of Christmas to spend with their family. It’s 3:20, and we’ve closed the lobby, and are letting all the customers who were in the drive-thru line before 3:00 through. It’s going decently, despite our lack of stock, until the last car.)

Me: “Hello, welcome to [Fast Food Chain]. What can I get for you?”

Young Man: “Hi, I’d like a medium Iced Capp, and an everything bagel, toasted, with cream cheese.”

Me: “Unfortunately, the Iced Capp machine is shut down, as we’re closing for Christmas Eve, and we’re all out of the everything bagel.”

Young Man: “WHAT!? This is completely unacceptable! You can’t just shut everything down! What time do you close!?”

Me: “Twenty minutes ago. There should be a sign under the speaker box.”

Young Man: “Uh… oh.”

Me: “Yeah… Is there anything else I can get for you?”

Young Man: “Uh… no, sorry.”

Me: “Well, have a good one.”

(The young man drives off and I take off my headset, foolishly believing that I had hit my stupid person quota for the day.)

Manager: “Hey, [My Name], can you finish taking out the trash?”

Me: “Sure.”

(I head out back with the last couple of trash bags, and take the lot of them to the dumpster across the parking lot. As I’m returning, I see a car, trying to drive over the curb and around the pylon barrier blocking the drive-thru that my manager had set up. I approach the vehicle.)

Me: “Uh, hello? Whatcha up to?”

Young Woman: “Oh, uh, hi. Yeah, I was wondering if you could like, move these cone-thingys. They’re blocking the drive-thru.”

Me: “Well, that’s because the drive-thru is closed. The whole store is closed so everyone can spend the holidays with their families.”

Young Woman: “Wow, that’s like, weird. How are people supposed to know the drive-thru is closed?”

Me: “Well if the large, orange pylons in front of the entrance are too subtle a hint, there’s also the sign taped to that middle one that says that the drive-thru is closed.”

Young Woman: “Oh, wow! I didn’t read that!”

Me: “Literacy is a beautiful thing.”

Young Woman: “…Huh?”

Me: “Never mind. Have a nice day, ma’am.”

(I walked back inside to finish cleaning and wondered about the bleak future of humanity.)

Nutty Nativity

| Auckland, New Zealand | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(We had just finished putting up Christmas trees and decorations around the library, and I was taking work photos.)

American Tourist: “Oh, my god. What lovely trees. They look magnificent.”

Me: “Thanks.”

American Tourist: “Are you all going to put up a nativity scene as well?”

Me: “No. Unfortunately not.”

American Tourist: “Why not?”

Me: “Council directives.” *glancing around and whispering* “Council has directed us not to put up Christian related symbolism and displays.”

American Tourist: “And why the h*** not?”

Me: “Well, unfortunately, Christianity has a bit of a bad image in the eyes of some of our patrons due to perceived injustices, abuse, persecution, and so forth, from people they assume are acting under the name of God. I myself have had bad experiences with some evangelists, but I do not hold it against the religion personally.”

American Tourist: “That’s sad to hear.”

Me: “Funny thing is, it only applies to Christian displays.”

American Tourist: “What do you mean?”

Me: “If I want to put up a three-meter tall Buddha for Wesak day, I am allowed to turn this library into a Buddhist temple. If we wanted to splash out on a Divali display, we can drag in a giant blue statue of Krishna that can fill the mezzanine area. But a nativity scene, nope. Not allowed.”

American Tourist: “That’s discrimination.”

Me: “I know. Tell me about it. I think it’s unfair and discriminatory, and I’m not Christian. We’ve tried to get Council to back down, but have failed for the last five years. But I suppose if enough customers complain…”

American Tourist: “Ah… right. So where can I find some comment forms?”

Me: *points it to her*

American Tourist: “Right. I’ll get to it in a minute. Can I take photos? The trees are lovely.”

Me: “Usually, no. But what the hey, it’s the holidays, so one or two I suppose.”

American Tourist: “Thanks!”

(Suddenly, a local patron comments loudly between the both of us and points at the Christmas trees.)

Local: “Holy Jesus and Lord. Such displays of idolatry. Such sinful displays here in a public space. Jesus will be spinning in his grave to see such displays.”

(Both of us stand there silent for a minute or two.)

American Tourist: “You know what, dear? I’m not going to put in that complaint. Maybe the Council has a fair point after all.”

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