Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

Needs To Inspect Their Own Irony

| Suwannee, GA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s Christmas Eve, and we are slammed with everyone coming to get that last final checkup before going on vacation.)

Me: “Welcome to [Auto Shop]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Yes, I’d like to have my car inspected. I’m getting ready to go on a long trip and I don’t have much time. Can you get this done quickly?”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we have about a one hour wait before we can get you in.”

Customer: “Wow, I didn’t think it would be this busy being it’s the day before Christmas. You know if people didn’t come in on holidays the big corporations wouldn’t open their doors on them.”

Me: “So that’s a no to the inspection?”

Customer: “Oh, no, I totally want to still do it. I’m just saying.”

Christmas Twine, Mistletoe, And Whine

| UK | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s Christmas Eve. The phone rings and I answer it.)

Customer: “Hello, I saw in your catalogue that you sell cooking twine.”

Me: “Yes, we do sell cooking twine.”

Customer: “I need to order some; I need it for tomorrow.”

Me: “I would be happy to reserve you some and you can pick it up later on in the day?”

Customer: “No, that won’t work; I live 60 miles away. You’ll have to post it to me.”

Me: “Are you asking me to post an item out to you so it arrives on Christmas morning?”

Customer: “Are you telling me you can’t help me? You are disgusting. You’ve ruined my Christmas and my family’s Christmas!”

In A Happy Holi-daze

| MI, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Cashier: “Will these books be all for you today?”

Me: “Yep!”

Cashier: “Well, you have a very Merry Christma—”

(The cashier peers at my Star of David necklace with Hebrew engraving.)

Cashier: “—AND I hope you had a wonderful Hanukkah!”

(The cashier then waves to everyone waiting in line to get their attention.)

Cashier: “Merry Christmas, Happy Hannukah, Joyous Kwanzaa, Spiritually Fullfilling Equinox, HAPPY HOLIDAYS!”

(The whole line applauds and laughs.)

Me: “That was awesome!”

Cashier: “I know that Happy Holidays covers everything, but wouldn’t it be awesome if I knew all of them just in case?!”

The Sale Hasn’t Got The Green Light

| Daytona, FL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It is just after we’ve marked our Christmas merchandise down 50%. This covers everything except items we carry year round, even if they have a winter paper tag decorating them. The customer has a plastic mug.)

Customer: “Could you tell me how much this costs?”

Me: “$4.97.”

Customer: “It should be about $2.50, dear.”

Me: “No, ma’am, that particular item is $4.97.”

Customer: “It’s a Christmas item, dear. It’s about $2.50.”

Me: “Actually we carry those year round so it hasn’t been marked down.”

(The customer clears her throat and points out the paper tag with a snowflake on it. We put those on ourselves to mark holiday gift ideas, not just winter merchandise.)

Customer: “Clearly you’re missing something, dear. It’s clearly a Christmas item. Just look at the color.”

Me: “It’s green, ma’am. We sell green mugs all year. It’s $4.97. Those mugs are always $4.97.”

Customer: “Well that’s just RIDICULOUS! I demand you give it to me for half price!”

(When I refused her again she threw the mug and stormed off.)

Christmas Is Engrave Danger

| FL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It’s December 23rd, and due to the amount of engraving orders that were placed during the day, a seasonal and I are working well into the night. Before we know it, it’s 7 am and the rest of the mall employees are coming in to open their stores. In fact, there are already customers waiting outside our store to pick up their items. I point this out to the seasonal with me.)

Seasonal: “Watch as the first customers we get are for items we haven’t gotten to.”

Me: “Don’t jinx it.”

(At this point, I’ve opened the gate and the lady who has been waiting outside for about fifteen minutes comes in to pick up her order.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, when did you place the order and what was the item?”

Customer #1: “Oh, it was just a card holder.”

(The seasonal and I look at each other.)

Me: “Like on a plate?”

Customer #1: “Yes.”

Me: “I’m extremely sorry, ma’am, but we haven’t gotten to your order yet but we can pop it in the machines and have it done as fast as we can.”

Customer #1: “Oh, that’s fine. How many people are here as soon as you open?”

Me: “Ha ha…”

(I grab her work order and item and place it on the machines so the seasonal can do it. Seeing as the assistant manager isn’t there yet, I have to act as the manager on duty.)

Seasonal: “Actually, we haven’t even gone home. We’ve been here all night.”

Customer #1: “That’s insane!”

Me: “We can’t leave until everything is engraved and unfortunately—” *I point at the large pile of plated items* “—we haven’t even touched the plated items. But no worries, we’ll get your item done pronto.”

(At this point, another lady comes in, and I greet her.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am, how can we help you today?”

Customer #2: “I’m here to pick up my item.”

Me: “Well what was the item?”

Customer #2: “It was four small clocks and a big clock.”

(The seasonal and I share another look.)

Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am, but unfortunately we haven’t had a chance to get to the plated items yet but we can do it for you right now.”

Customer #2: “WHAT?! WHAT DO YOU MEAN IT’S NOT READY?! I WAS TOLD IT WOULD BE READY AT 7 AM AND I HAVE IMPORTANT STUFF I NEED TO DO THIS MORNING. HOW CAN IT NOT BE READY?!”

Me: “…well, as you can see, we have a big pile of items we have yet to touch, and if you don’t mind waiting a few minutes we can quickly put the plates in the machines and engrave them. No problem.”

Customer #2: “I CAN’T BELIEVE IT’S NOT READY ON THE TIME! I WAS TOLD IT WOULD BE READY! 7 AM! IT’S 7 AM AND IT’S NOT COMPLETED.”

(I take a breath, look over at the seasonal who is staring at me with wide eyes. Luckily, no one else has entered the store during this.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, no worries. We’ll knock this out for you right now.”

(I get the items on the counter, give the bigger clock to the seasonal to do while I get started on the four smaller clocks. As I’m setting up the first plate, the first customer comes over to me.)

Customer #1: “I’ll just be back in a few minutes. Take your time with my order.”

(I nod and she leaves. I get the machine all ready to go, and the second customer is still screaming her head off. I hear the bell at the entrance go off, look over, and my manager is walking in. I greet him, and as soon as I do, the second customer turns her screams on him.)

Customer #2: “YOU SAID MY ITEM WOULD BE READY AT 7 AM AND HERE I AM AND MY ITEM ISN’T READY THIS IS VERY UNPROFESSIONAL WHY ISN’T MY ITEM READY YET?!”

Manager: “Well, ma’am, I do apologize but these ladies have been here all night and they’re trying to engrave as fast as they can.”

Customer #2: “IF MY ITEM WASN’T GOING TO BE READY ON TIME I SHOULD HAVE GOTTEN A CALL AND THEN I WOULDN’T HAVE WASTED MY TIME COMING HERE.”

Manager: “… You wanted them to call you at 3 am?”

Customer #2: “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING?! I WANT A REFUND.”

(At this point, I’m literally holding back sobs cause I don’t want the customer to know she’s made me cry. The manager turns to me to ask how much of the order I’ve already done and I tell him I already finished one plate and the seasonal is already engraving the other plate. He turns back to the customer.)

Manager: “Okay, since we already started your order, how about you give us ten minutes? Ten minutes and your items will be completed.”

Customer #2: “…fine. BUT THEY BETTER BE READY.!”

Manager: “Yes, they will be.”

(The customer walks out of the store and we all take a big breath and I finally let my sobs out. At that moment, our assistant manager comes in, looking really confused.)

Assistant Manager: “Hey, guys?” *pointing at me* “Why is she crying? Why is there a customer outside screaming?”

(The manager begins to explain what happened and I finish up the order with the clocks. We get all the plates put on and the seasonal throws her hands up.)

Seasonal: “Okay, I’m going home.”

(She takes off and it’s just the three of us, I’m still sobbing and the manager gives me a pat.)

Manager: “Go home and get some sleep.”

Me: “I can’t. I have other things to engrave I can’t leave until they’re done.”

Manager: “We can handle it.”

Me: “I’ll stay until 8 am.”

Manager: “Fair enough.”

(Finally, after about 15 minutes, my manager calls the lady back in because her items are ready.)

Customer #2: “Huh. Okay, they’re fine. Thank you for doing them so quickly.”

Manager: “You’re welcome, ma’am. Have a good rest of your day.”

(The customer leaves, griping under her breath about a snowball effect, and as soon as she’s out of the store she’s yelling and screaming again. Customer #1 walks in again.)

Manager: “Hello, ma’am. How are we doing today?”

Me: “Oh, oh, I’m so sorry, ma’am. We haven’t— I’ll do that right now.”

Customer #1: “Don’t worry about it!” *she waves her hand* “I’m just so sorry you had to deal with that one lady. What is her problem?”

Manager: “Happy holidays?”

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