Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Using The Lord’s Name Doesn’t Deliver
    (1,631 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    The Argument Crumbles Like A Cookie

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is early November.)

    Customer: “Do you have any gingerbread cookies?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We don’t.”

    Customer: “Why would you not even have gingerbread cookies?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we haven’t even started making them yet this year.”

    Customer: “What? Why the f*** not?”

    Me: “Because here at [Shop's Name], we like to follow the traditions and not start baking Christmas cookies until Christmas time.”

    Customer: “Ah, I see! I’m glad to hear that you follow the traditions. All shops should be like you. I don’t get it why people just can’t wait these days. Everyone is just so d*** greedy!” *wanders off*

    It’s Beginning To Smell A Lot Like Christmas

    | USA | Bizarre, Holidays, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s three days before Christmas. A teenage girl is dragging her boyfriend around the store making him smell everything. She’s obviously stressed out by last minute holiday shopping.)

    Girl: “Um… I need… um… Here! Smell this. Is is good for [Name]?”

    Boyfriend: “Babe, I’m not picking out what your friends smell like. They’re all minors. That’s creepy.”

    Girl: “Please? Most of them are 18 now.”

    Boyfriend: *sighs and sniffs* “Smells great.”

    Girl: “Okay. And now, for my sister. This one?”

    Boyfriend: “Come on, hun. Just pick out whatever and let’s get you something to eat.”

    Girl: “I have to smell these people!”

    Boyfriend: “You do this every year, babe. Why didn’t you start shopping two weeks ago?”

    Girl: “Because I’m a procrastinator! It took me two years to realize you liked me!”

    (The boyfriend looks a little intimidated so I step in and help the girl pick out gifts for the other six people on her list. They leave, the girl still stressing over other presents.)

    Me: “Thank you for coming!”

    Girl: “You too! Wait… Shoot. I mean happy holidays?”

    Boyfriend: “Sorry. We’re going to go get her some sugar now.”

    (The boyfriend comes back the next day to pick out a gift for his girlfriend and specifically requests me. I get a $20 tip and the humorous details of the rest of his shopping experience from the previous day!)

    Preorder Disorder

    | Wichita, KS, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (It is mid December. I am purchasing Christmas gifts for my niece and nephew. I have just found out from their father that they want a specific toy which has been popular. A local big-box store has a sale on them. I order online and enter the store on my lunch break to pick them up.)

    Employee: “Here are your items. Please make sure they are what you ordered online.”

    (I pick up the toys and inspect them. As I am looking at the one for my niece, a customer appears from nowhere and attempts to snatch the toy from my hands.)

    Customer: “Hey! That’s the toy I have been looking for! They are out of stock on the shelf. I need to buy it now!”

    (The cashier takes toy from me so the customer will stop grabbing for it.)

    Cashier: “Madam, he has already purchased this online and is picking it up. I’d be happy to—”

    Customer: “No! I was here first and that toy should be mine! He just came and you gave it to him. He hasn’t even paid! He’s cheating! He cut in line!”

    Cashier: “Please calm down. I’m sure we can order one or find you one at another store. He has already purchased this one so we cannot sell it to you.”

    Customer: “LIAR! He’s a cheater and you are too! Get me your manager now so I can buy this toy for my baby!”

    (At this point the customer is yelling loudly and has drawn the attention of the entire front of the store. The manager is already on his way over.)

    Manager: “Madam, I’m sorry for the upset. What is the problem?”

    Customer: “Your employee is cheating! This man just came in the store and she is handing him the toy that I have been looking for. He hasn’t even paid for it. I demand you sell me this toy and not give it to this cheater!”

    Manager: “I’m sorry but he has ordered this online and is now picking it up. I’d be happy to—”

    (In the meantime, the cashier has placed the toys in a bag and quietly hands them to me while waving for me to go. I hurry towards the door.)

    Customer: *starts trying to get past the manager* “There he goes! He is stealing my baby’s toy! He cut in line and he’s a CHEATER! A CHEATER!”

    (I hurry out the door hearing her screams as I hurry to my car. I hope she calmed down and got her toy. I hadn’t seen that kind of crazy since I last dared to go to a Black Friday sale.)

    Should Have Saved The Date In Their Advent Calendar

    | OH, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hi, ma’am. Welcome to [Toy Store]. Can I help you find anything?”

    Customer: “Yeah. Do you guys still sell Advent calendars here?”

    (It’s December 10th, halfway through Advent.)

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We’ve been out of Advent calendars since mid-November. We didn’t even have any for Black Friday, unfortunately.”

    Customer: “So you don’t have any?”

    Me: “No. But we do them every year, so there’s already next year.”

    Customer: “Ah, shoot. I was really looking forward to getting one for the kids.”

    Me: “Yeah. With something like that I always recommend getting them as early as possible. Definitely before December.”

    Customer: “When is the next time you’ll be getting them in?”

    Me: “Next September.”

    Tis The Season To Be Deaf To Reason

    | ME, USA | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! How are you doing today?”

    Customer: “Oh, just fine. Thanks. Last minute preparations. Are you ready for Christmas?”

    Me: “I suppose you can say that.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “Well, I don’t celebrate Christmas. So I’m always ready for it, in a way.”

    Customer: “What?! Why don’t you celebrate Christmas?”

    Me: “I’m not Christian.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: *a little slower* “I’m not Christian.”

    Customer: *louder* “What?”

    Me: “I’m an atheist.”

    Customer: *near shouting* “I’m just not understanding!”

    Me: “I don’t believe that any god exists.”

    Customer: “WHAT? I JUST AM NOT UNDERSTANDING!”

    Me: “…I celebrate Christmas.”

    Customer: *in normal volume* “Well, of course, dear. Everyone does! Merry Christmas and God bless!”

    (She gives me a jaunty wave and heads out if the store. My bagger turns to me.)

    Bagger: “Am I in crazy-town?”

    Me: “Apparently we’re in Bethlehem.”


    Page 5/27First...34567...Last