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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Christmas Jeer

    | Naples, FL, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (I work at an office supply store that also does computer repairs. We are open late for Christmas. I’m the certified technician. The cashier is taking a break, so I volunteer to take over her register. A customer has walked up to the customer service desk. This desk has no register, but there is a register about five feet to the right.)

    Customer: “Hey! I was looking for this pocket calendar, but for this year. This other brand has more space, but I can’t find this one.”

    Me: “Sure. Let’s go take a look so you can pick the one you want!”

    Customer: “I already checked all of them. You don’t have it! I’m NOT walking back there! That’s what I came up here for! Now GO!”

    Me: “Okay…”

    (I walk back, stunned, and check for the product. We are out of stock. I come back to tell the customer. My coworker has come back, and tries to check another customer out, but register #1 has crashed. She has already taken the customer to register #2 and is checking them out.)

    Me: “Unfortunately, ma’am, we are out of stock. We can order the one you want online, however.”

    Customer: “No! I’ll just take this one. It’s already in my purse.”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll take you over at register #2, as register #1 has crashed.”

    (My coworker has finished checking out the customer, and is standing behind me watching this occur. The customer is standing, staring at the wall, obviously ignoring me.)

    Me: “Umm, ma’am? I said I can help you at register #2.”

    Customer: “You said you’d help me RIGHT HERE!”

    Me: “Sorry, I didn’t. Register #1 has crashed, and that’s the customer service desk. I couldn’t ring you up there if I tried.”

    Customer: “But that is not open. THIS ONE IS! HELP ME HERE!”

    (The light for register #1 is on still, and #2 is off. No one pays attention to the lights so no one turns them on for the occasional customer that is brought to them.)

    Customer: “This one’s light isn’t on. You can’t help me here.”

    (I turn the light on to humor her and start ringing.)

    Customer: “You all are so rude and unhelpful! I can’t believe you would treat me like this!”

    Me: “I’m sorry you feel that way about us.”

    Customer: “YOU ARE NOT SORRY! YOU ARE BEING INTENTIONALLY RUDE! YOU HAVE TERRIBLE CUSTOMER SERVICE!”

    (At this point I can’t tell whether to be angry or laugh at the absurdity. I am leading the numbers for customer service, and I’m always going out of my way for the customers.)

    Me: “Okay. Your total is [total]. You can swipe whenever you are ready. ”

    Customer: “I GAVE you the card. Figure it out yourself!”

    Me: “Okay.”

    (I swipe the card, and turn the PIN-pad towards her.)

    Me: “Please sign here.”

    (The customer proceeds to scribble on the screen in long sweeping motions, before finally pounding on the screen with the stylus. It does not respond to hard tapping, only light tapping. I’m afraid the screen will break at this rate, so I put my hand out near the screen.)

    Me: “Please do not break our screen.” *I tap the button*

    Customer: “DON’T F****** TALK TO ME LIKE THAT! I DON’T WANT TO HEAR IT! DON’T OPEN YOUR MOUTH TO ME AGAIN!”

    (The customer throws the stylus at me.)

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.” *hands receipt* “Have a great evening, and happy holidays!”

    Customer: “Screw you! You people are so F****** RUDE!”

    Me: “Alright!”

    (The door closes.)

    Me: *to coworker* “I really don’t know whether to be mad or laugh… I’m so conflicted!”

    A Dog Is For Life, Not Just For Christmas

    | NC, USA | Holidays, Pets & Animals, Themed Giveaway

    (I work for a well-known pet store chain that has never sold dogs or cats. It is the week before Christmas. We are fairly busy. I am on the floor doing customer service when an angry customer rushes up to me, dragging his young daughter behind him.)

    Customer: “I need a Chihuahua puppy, right now.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t understand. Have you lost your pup in the store?”

    Customer: “No, you stupid b****. I want to buy a Chihuahua puppy. I’ve looked everywhere in the store and can’t find them.”

    Me: “Again, I’m sorry, sir, but we don’t sell puppies. We never have.”

    Customer: “That’s crap! I saw puppies in here the other day.”

    Me: “Yes. Our adoption partners were here. See, we save space in our store for rescues, so shelter dogs and cats can find their forever homes.”

    Customer: “I don’t want a USED dog. I want a Chihuahua puppy. One that’s clean!”

    (His daughter starts to sob and whine at him.)

    Me: “Shelter dogs aren’t used or dirty. I have two rescues, myself.”

    Customer: “Listen you w****. Go in the back and get my puppy.”

    Me: “At this point, you have insulted me and won’t listen to what I’m telling you. I have the right to refuse you service.”

    (I go to walk away from him. He starts screaming over his child’s crying and grabs me by the arm.)

    Customer: “YOU F****** B****! YOU’VE RUINED MY GIRL’S CHRISTMAS! I HOPE YOU’RE HAPPY, MAKING LITTLE GIRLS CRY! NOW GO GET MY PUPPY OR I’LL HAVE YOU FIRED!”

    (I’ve had enough. My manager has heard the commotion and is right behind the customer, getting ready to intervene.)

    Me: “Right. The Chihuahua puppies come in next Wednesday, with our dragon eggs and unicorn babies. You’ll have to wait until then.”

    (My manager had to stop himself from laughing as he escorted the customer to the front for yelling at me and grabbing me. Luckily, my bosses have a good sense of humor and didn’t fire me!)

    These Customers Come But Once A Year

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (The restaurant I work at is closed Thanksgiving and Christmas, and has been doing so for 20 years. Every year, we get at least one call the day after each complaining. It is December 26th.)

    Caller: “Hi. I tried coming to your restaurant yesterday but the lights were all out, the doors were locked, and nobody answered your phones!”

    Me: “We were closed yesterday.”

    Caller: “But you guys are never closed on Christmas!”

    Me: “Sir, we’ve been closed on Christmas and Thanksgiving every year since we opened.”

    Caller: “Liar! I DEMAND to speak to your manager!”

    Me: “Sir, I am currently the only one in right now. I can give you the owner’s number if you like.”

    Caller: “NO! I DON’T WANT TO SPEAK TO THE OWNER! I WANT A MANAGER!”

    Me: “I am the manager on duty. If you call back at about 11, the mid-shift manager will be in and you can speak with him if you don’t want to speak to me.”

    Caller: “I want free food because you people locked the doors and wouldn’t let me in yesterday!”

    Me: “Sir, I can’t give you free food because you came by on one of the two days of the year we are closed.”

    Caller: “Why the h*** not?”

    Me: “Do you work somewhere that closes on certain days?”

    Caller: “Yeah! I work for the bank!”

    Me: “So, if I called in on a Monday and demanded free services because I had come by the Sunday before and you were closed, what would you do?”

    Caller: “I would laugh at you and hang up.”

    Me: “Well, then, I guess that’s as good a plan as any.”

    (I laugh at him and hang up.)

    The Argument Crumbles Like A Cookie

    | Stockholm, Sweden | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (It is early November.)

    Customer: “Do you have any gingerbread cookies?”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am. We don’t.”

    Customer: “Why would you not even have gingerbread cookies?”

    Me: “Sorry, but we haven’t even started making them yet this year.”

    Customer: “What? Why the f*** not?”

    Me: “Because here at [Shop's Name], we like to follow the traditions and not start baking Christmas cookies until Christmas time.”

    Customer: “Ah, I see! I’m glad to hear that you follow the traditions. All shops should be like you. I don’t get it why people just can’t wait these days. Everyone is just so d*** greedy!” *wanders off*

    It’s Beginning To Smell A Lot Like Christmas

    | USA | Bizarre, Holidays, Spouses & Partners, Themed Giveaway

    (It’s three days before Christmas. A teenage girl is dragging her boyfriend around the store making him smell everything. She’s obviously stressed out by last minute holiday shopping.)

    Girl: “Um… I need… um… Here! Smell this. Is is good for [Name]?”

    Boyfriend: “Babe, I’m not picking out what your friends smell like. They’re all minors. That’s creepy.”

    Girl: “Please? Most of them are 18 now.”

    Boyfriend: *sighs and sniffs* “Smells great.”

    Girl: “Okay. And now, for my sister. This one?”

    Boyfriend: “Come on, hun. Just pick out whatever and let’s get you something to eat.”

    Girl: “I have to smell these people!”

    Boyfriend: “You do this every year, babe. Why didn’t you start shopping two weeks ago?”

    Girl: “Because I’m a procrastinator! It took me two years to realize you liked me!”

    (The boyfriend looks a little intimidated so I step in and help the girl pick out gifts for the other six people on her list. They leave, the girl still stressing over other presents.)

    Me: “Thank you for coming!”

    Girl: “You too! Wait… Shoot. I mean happy holidays?”

    Boyfriend: “Sorry. We’re going to go get her some sugar now.”

    (The boyfriend comes back the next day to pick out a gift for his girlfriend and specifically requests me. I get a $20 tip and the humorous details of the rest of his shopping experience from the previous day!)


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