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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Going Bananas About Pajamas

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s December 23rd. I have never worked a Christmas at my current job.)

    Me: “Hello. Are you finding everything alright?”

    Customer: “Um, no. I can’t find your pajamas.”

    (I’m really confused by this. We are a hardware store, and so do not and have never sold pajamas.)

    Me: “Sorry. Did you say pajamas?”

    Customer: “Obviously. What are you, deaf!? They are clothes that you you wear to bed. Do you understand now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pajamas.”

    Customer: “Well the very nice young lady across the street said you would have the pj’s I’m looking for. I came in last week and I couldn’t find them. So I went to the [Big Clothing Store] across the street. She definitely said you were getting a shipment of purple and pink flowered pj’s today.”

    Me: “Again, as I said, we don’t sell sleepwear. If you would like I can tell you another store which might have what you are looking for, or bring my manager to confirm we don’t have any pajamas.”

    (The customer is very visibly upset by this, and starts yelling and cursing at me.)

    Customer: “What kind of store doesn’t sell pj’s at the holidays! I am holding you personally responsible, you b****! Why dont you get your manager and tell him that!?”

    (As the customer says this she knocks over a whole shelf of Christmas ornaments and other decorations.)

    Customer: “I hope you have an awful Christmas!”

    (The customer starts hurling more insults and horrible names as she walks out. A coworker has observed all of the proceedings.)

    Coworker: “–and a happy new year!”

    Customer: “F*** you too!”

    Dressing Up The Wrong Tree

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working the fitting room in a clothing store on Christmas Eve. It is pretty dead until a customer walks up to me holding three tree skirts.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can I try these on?”

    Me: “Uh, ma’am, you know those are tree skirts? Right? Those things you put around the bottom of a Christmas tree?”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. I just thought they’d make great Christmas ponchos!”

    Don’t Even Want To Know What A Milkshake Is

    | Lafeyette, LA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (My store is selling goodie bags of various candies as stocking stuffers. One of the candies we use are colorful chocolate-flavored spheres a little smaller than gumballs. We use only white ones for the goodie bags. The label refers to them as ‘snowman poop,’ with a little poem about how the child it’s for has been naughty. A couple roaming the store have caught sight of the goodie bags, and the man is particularly interested in the snowman poop.)

    Man: “Snowman poop? It’s normally marshmallows… He must have been constipated!”

    (I double over laughing, and the man begins cheering for himself for having caused such a reaction.)

    A Time For Giving (A Piece Of Your Mind)

    | Newark, DE, USA | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I’ve gone to pick up a few things. I am in the line for the register when I hear someone yelling. Since I’m a curious person and the store isn’t very busy, I leave with my cart to see what’s going on. I soon see a woman in her 30s lecturing a boy in his teens who works in the store.)

    Customer: “People like you disgust me! Not everyone is Christian! You shouldn’t tell people to celebrate something from a faith they don’t believe in! F*** you and your ‘Merry Christmas!’ religious erasure!”

    (The employee is clearly overwhelmed. He’s been very sweet in helping me in the past so, against my better judgment, I step in.)

    Me: “Even if you aren’t Christian, it’s still nice to hear that someone wants you to have a good holiday. Peace on Earth, goodwill towards man, not erasure. If you even bothered to talk to this guy for more than a few seconds you’d know how nice he is. He just wants you to have a good holiday season, lady.”

    Customer: “You, too! You’re just as rude and disgusting as this brat. I bet you and him go around thumping gays with bibles to turn them straight! I’m going to report the both of you!”

    Me: “Lady, I’m agnostic. That means I accept the fact that we don’t know for sure if there is a God or not. As such, I should just be the best person I can be because it’s the right thing to do. I love Christmas time. It’s full of love for everyone and it’s a time for family and friends to all come together. It’s full of people doing good for each other. If you don’t like people wishing you a good holiday just because of the religion that celebrates the holiday, you’re just as bigoted as the people who really do want erasure. Also, I’m bi. So I wouldn’t go around ‘thumping’ anyone for their sexuality.”

    (The customer sputters for a minute before storming off with her cart. The employee looks at me after a few seconds to calm himself down.)

    Employee: “I only said it because she said she was planning Christmas dinner…”

    Party Crashed And Burned

    , | Fairborn, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (For the past couple of days we’ve had signs on our doors indicating the dining room would be closed for a Christmas party. The night of the party, I come up to the door carrying a dish in a stone pan. The manager opens the door to let me in when a customer runs past me, inside the dining room.)

    Me: “What was—”

    Manager: “Hold on.” *closes the door behind me* “Now we shouldn’t have customers trying to come in.”

    (I set the dish down and go to get my second load from my car. When I get back, a family of customers is seated in a booth next to the food my coworkers and I have brought in.)

    Customer: “Hey, you! What is with that food?”

    Me: “We’re having a Christmas party.”

    Customer: “You are?”

    (I look at my coworkers, and then at the decorations and the games we have set up.)

    Coworker: “Yes! We closed at nine.”

    Customer: “You did?”

    Manager: “We have signs up saying that we did.”

    Customer: “Well, I didn’t see those.”

    Manager: “Because you ran past my employee, who was carrying stuff in for it.”

    (The customer blushes and helps his family pack up to leave.)

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