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  • September Theme Of The Month: Overheard!

    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Knows Not What He Seis

    | Santa Rosa, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays

    (I work at the customer service booth of a major grocery store. Customers have to fill out a form to rent a carpet cleaner; I usually fill in information like the date and time for them. On the fourth of May a customer rented a carpet cleaner for 24 hours. The next day, he brings back the machine and I have him sign and date the return.)

    Customer: “You got your dates wrong.”

    Me: “How?”

    Customer: “You put down the fifth. It’s May sixth, Cinco de Mayo. Didn’t you know?”

    Judged Unworthy To Judge

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Religion

    (I am wearing rabbit ears the week before the Easter holiday while I ring groceries.)

    Customer: “And do you go to church on Easter?”

    Me: “No, I celebrate with baskets, candy, and a nice family meal.”

    Customer: “I don’t think Jesus would approve of that.”

    Me: “Luckily for me, Jesus wasn’t exactly known to judge people.”

    (That shut him up!)

    Reached The Tipping Point

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Money

    (We are catering a Christmas party for a client and his seventy employees. The party includes an open bar and dinner. There are four servers, and two bartenders. I am a bartender. After five hours of making non-stop bar drinks, and receiving non-stop compliments on our drinks, last call arrives, and this conversation happens.)

    Client: “I need to go ahead and sign the check. Can you print me one ticket for everything?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Here you are.” *hands over one complete invoice*

    Client: “I needed this separate.”

    Me: “Oh, yes, sir. I’m sorry. Here.” *separates food and drink tickets and hands them over*

    Client: “No, this isn’t right. I need a complete ticket.”

    Me: “I don’t understand. You want the tickets together?”

    Client: “No! Where the h*** is [Server not working that night]? She knows how I want things done! I REQUESTED HER AND SHE ISN’T HERE TONIGHT!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know why she’s not working. Now, about the ticket…”

    Client: “NO! I REQUESTED HER. She’s my friend; she knows how I want things done on the invoice. I won’t come back next year for my Christmas party if you won’t do what I want.”

    Me: “If you could explain to me, I can help you.”

    Client: “Never mind, I’ll just sign this ticket. Did you autograt this?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, 15%.”

    Client: “And you’re sharing that with everyone working tonight?                  ”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Between six people.”

    Client: “Well, then, that’s more than enough for you.” *signs, leaves no extra tip, and stomps out*

    (He baffled the entire crew, since he spent five hours giving us nothing but compliments on our service, and never once mentioned the other server’s absence. I can only guess that when he saw the large bill, he made up a reason to be angry so he wouldn’t have to tip any extra for the incredible service we provided. Splitting the 15% between the servers, we barely made minimum wage.)

    How To Get Ahead Of The Sales

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays

    (It is the middle of the Black Friday rush. One of my coworkers approaches me looking particularly disheveled.)

    Me: “Are you okay?”

    Coworker: “You know it’s Black Friday when you have to pick up discarded items from all over the floor… and while doing so, a customer tries to step on your head to avoid taking a few steps around you…”

    Pretty In Pink-Orange

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Bigotry, Bizarre, Holidays

    (Last year I dyed my hair bright red, and by October it was starting to fade out to a pink-orange. I was used to getting a lot of comments about my hair and most were positive so I was taken by surprise when I was ringing up an older customer a few days before Halloween.)

    Husband: “Is that your real hair?”

    Me: “Yes. it is.”

    Husband: “Well. I like it. It’s nice. You look very pretty.”

    Me: “Thank you.”

    (His wife looks at him with a face that says she doesn’t appreciate him complimenting me.)

    Husband: *to his wife* “Well, she’s Halloween pretty, anyway.”

    Me: “…here’s your receipt. Have a nice night…”

    (My manager and I still haven’t figured out if I should take that as a compliment or insult, yet.)

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