Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

She Passed With Flying Colors

| NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

(I organize events for special needs children and their families. I also work as a female clown. A little girl has approached my table.)

Me: “Well, hi there! Would you like to get your face painted today?”

Girl: “Yes! I want [Popular Children’s Character]!”

(She takes a seat, and as I get my supplies I notice she is staring at my head. I am bald due to a medical condition, so I wear nice-quality wigs which, despite their artificial colors, are often mistaken as real hair. Today I’m wearing bright pink.)

Me: “All righty, then! [Children’s Character] it is. My name is [My Clown Name]; what’s your name?”

Girl: “[Girl].” *pauses as I ready the paints* “How is your hair pink? Is it REALLY pink or fake? I don’t think hair can actually be like that.”

(Her mother begins to speak up, but I wink at her.)

Me: “Well, I have special hair! I can make it any color I want. Today it’s pink, but tomorrow it might not be.”

Girl: “Wow! Is that magic?”

Me: “Yup, it’s kind of like magic!”

(I proceed to paint her face, fielding several questions about my ‘powers’ to the amusement of the mother. Later the mother explains that due to her rabid love of this popular ‘magical’ franchise, other kids have begun to make her doubt the existence of magic. Weeks later, I am hosting a Halloween event when I spot the same little girl, dressed as one of the franchise characters.)

Me: “Hi, [Girl]! I like your costume.”

Girl: “Thanks! It’s my favorite—”

(She stops abruptly and her eyes go wide. Sure enough, I am wearing a curly purple wig. Her mother grins.)

Girl: “Whoooooaaaaaa.” *to her mother* “Mommy, look!”

Mother: “See? I told you it was real magic!”

(As if on cue, my coworker comes out from behind a trick-or-treat door, dressed as [Main Franchise Character] and signing another child’s autograph. The girl looks starstruck.)

Girl: “Oh. My. GOSH.”

Mother: *laughing* “Aaaaaaaand that’s just made our Halloween.”

(It made mine, too!)

Comic: Starting A New Year Revolution

, | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Comics, Food & Drink, Holidays

More Sour Than Sweet

| Eugene, OR, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you carry sweet and sour sauce?”

Me: “I don’t think I have any left. Let’s go check the food section.”

(I check.)

Me: “No ,we don’t have any in.”

Customer: “Oh, this is actually a Christmas gift for her.” *points to someone who is in ear shot* “You have just ruined it for her!”

(I immediately have a bitchy inner monologue with myself, saying ‘I’m not a f****** mind reader; don’t take someone you are Christmas shopping for with you when you go!)

Customer: “Where can I go to get this sauce?”

Me: “The grocery store…” *walks away*

The Weather Outside Is Frightful, And The Customers Are Worse

| USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work in a discount retail store and being a discount store, we don’t have special sales for holidays or anything of that nature. Occasionally – well, more than I’d like – I come across a difficult customer who seems to make the atmosphere uneasy for my customer and me. The customer begins to put her items on my counter for me to ring up. After a few moments I ring up all of the 53 items she intends to purchase.)

Me: “You’re total is $346.70, Ma’am. Will you being paying with cash, debit, or credit?”

Customer: “I am paying in the form of money.”

Me: “All righty, ma’am, whenever you’re ready.”

(After about five minutes of the customer digging in her purse, she begins staring at the bagged items in front of her.)

Me: “Ma’am, is something wrong? Did you forget your form of payment?”

Customer: “Why the F*** are you asking me if I forgot my payment? I’m trying to calculate if you correctly rang up all my items, each only one time and not several so your greedy a** can get something for free from hard working Americans!”

(I stare blankly at her for a few seconds until she prompts me to void out the transaction and ring each item again, with my computer screen facing her so she can watch her amount build up. During this she begins to ask questions on why this item was this much and this item was this much, etc… I finally finish ringing each item again.)

Me: “You’re total is $346.70.”

Customer: “You b****, you did it again! You scanned something that I did not bring up here!”

(My seasonal employees are now looking at me and my customer with a horrified face.)

Me: “Ma’am, I rang every item up once. I don’t understand why you are making these accusations/ You watched my screen as every item was scanned only once.”

Customer: “Well unfortunately, if you are not a little b**** liar, I don’t have enough money to pay the entire amount, so you will have to f****** take some stuff off. I need to speak to your f****** manager.”

Me: “Ma’am, I am the manager and I will happily take any items you do not want to purchase off of your purchase.”

(She begins going through the bags and throwing items at me to take off. I take all the items she wished not to purchase off.)

Me: “You’re total is $15.76, ma’am.”

(She proceeds to give me a 20-dollar bill, I give her, her change and she proceeds on her merry way out the door with the two items she purchased.)

Coworker: “What the h*** just happened?”

Me: “Merry Christmas.”

A Flashing Light-Bulb Moment

| Reading, England, UK | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work for a major DIY store and often work on the returns desk. One day a customer comes in carrying a bag from one of our competitors. From it he pulls a box of Christmas tree lights.)

Customer: “I’ve bought these lights, and they keep flashing. I don’t want them to flash; I want them to stay on all the time.”

(I look at the box of lights and notice they clearly have the name of the competitor on them.)

Me: “I’ll just stop you there, sir. These lights were bought at [Competitor] and this is [My Store].”

(The customer looks at his lights, looks at me and my uniform, and finally the light bulb goes on.)

Customer: “Bloody h***, I’ve just come from there!”

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