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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Santa Will Not Be Pleased

    | Bellevue, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (It’s three weeks until Christmas, and I’m ringing up a customer when her child speaks up.)

    Child: “Mommy, when’s Christmas?”

    Customer: “When you eat each and every one of the chocolates from the advent calendar, it’ll be Christmas.”

    Child: “But I already ate all of the chocolate…”

    The Son You Wish You Had

    | Concord, NH, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (I am a greeter for the line to get pictures taken with Santa. A young mother and her two-year-old walk in.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you folks doing today? Some little guy sure is adorable!”

    Mom: “Hi! Oh, thanks! He looks just like Justin Bieber!”

    Me: “Er…congratulations?”

    Of Low Prices And Lower Expectations

    | Ft. Wayne, IN, USA | Holidays, Top

    (Every item in our store is one dollar.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I need help with your Christmas ties. I can’t get them to work.”

    (The ties in question play music when you press the button.)

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. All you have to do is press the button firmly and hold for two seconds. The button isn’t super sensitive to light presses to avoid the music playing from an accidental press.”

    (I show the customer the difference between lightly pushing and intentionally pushing the button.)

    Customer: *lightly pushes the button* “See, these don’t work!”

    Me: “Ma’am, just press and hold the button for 2 seconds.”

    (I demonstrate again in case she hadn’t seen it the first time.)

    Customer: *pushes button several times very quickly* “You must be lying to me. It still doesn’t work!”

    Me: “Ma’am, all you have to do is push the button once and hold it for 2 seconds.”

    Customer: *pushes and holds button* “Finally! These aren’t very good quality, are they?!”

    (Another customer who has been listening from the next aisle speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “Ugh, lady, you’re in a dollar store! It’s a Christmas tie. You press the button for two seconds and it plays music. It costs a dollar. What more do you want?!”

    Tis The Season To Be Tired (Of Customers)

    , | San Mateo, CA, USA | Holidays

    (During the Christmas season, we managers at my store often work 12+ hour days. This day is one of them, and I have been there since 7:30 in the morning; it is now 8 pm. A customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Wow, you sure look tired. When did you start?”

    Me: “7:30–”

    Customer: “That’s the problem with today’s generation. Can’t work a full day without looking like they are falling asleep!”

    Me: “AM, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *walks off with a blank stare on his face*

    One Good Takeout Deserves Another

    | New York, NY, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (A few years ago, around noon on Christmas day, several dozen Chinese people walked in to our Kosher deli style restaurant, apparently in a group. One walked up to the front desk.)

    Man: *softly* “Is it okay if we’re here?”

    Hostess: “Yes, we serve everyone, but are you sure you’re in the right place?”

    Man: “This is [restaurant], right?”

    Hostess: “Yes sir, it is.”

    Man: “Well, we figured since you Jews are all coming to our restaurants tonight, we’d return the favor.”

    Hostess: *slightly shocked* “Thanks. Right this way…we’ll seat you!”

    (…and they’ve been back every year since!)

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