• A Very Purr-sonable Cat
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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Outdated And Outsmarted

    | Kent, England, UK | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m doing a bit of Christmas shopping. I stop at a calendar stand in the middle of the shopping center, and start looking through the stock. I think nothing of two customers appearing next to me until they start talking.)

    Customer #1: “Are these calendars for next year?”

    Customer #2: “I don’t know. Check the date.”

    Customer #1: “I can’t see it.”

    Me: “Are you serious?”

    Customer #1: “Excuse me?”

    Me: “It’s the middle of December. The last month of the year. Why would anybody need to buy a calendar for this year?”

    Customer #2: “You can’t talk to my daughter like that! She’s not stupid!”

    Me: “With all due respect, I’m not the one questioning if calendars being sold in December are for next year.”

    Wish They Would Make Like A Tree And Leave

    | Mobile, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer and his wife approach the service counter.)

    Customer: “Hey. Can you get someone out to the Christmas trees? We want one cut.”

    Me: “Sure! There actually should be someone out there, but he may have stepped inside or something. I’ll call him right up for you.”

    Customer: “Well, he’s not out there!”

    Me: “Okay. No problem. But I know they’re still closed out there. Do you want to go ahead and buy a tree, so you don’t have to come back in and buy it?”

    Customer: “No! I just want a tree!”

    Customer’s Wife: “Yes. Maybe about six feet.”

    Me: “Oh, okay.”

    Customer: “No. Just get someone out there to cut trees.”

    Me: “Yes, sir.”

    (As I call the manager who’s supposed to be cutting the trees, the customer walks away in a huff.)

    Customer: *sarcastically* “Great customer service!”

    (I talk to the manager on the phone and note that the customer’s wife is still there.)

    Customer’s Wife: *to my coworker* “Can you call me a manager?”

    Coworker: “Oh, of course.”

    Customer’s Wife: “And YOU! That was very rude! I’ve worked years of retail, and I’ll have you know that rolling your eyes at a customer and back-talking is not acceptable!”

    (I am stunned, but I know better than to argue with her.)

    Me: “Apologies, then. I hadn’t realized I’d done either.”

    Customer’s Wife: “Well, you’ve been very rude! This is not the attitude of someone working in retail!”

    Me: “I’m very sorry. I meant no offence.”

    (At this point, the manager arrives.)

    Manager: “Hello. What’s the problem?”

    Customer’s Wife: “I have a complaint about this little girl!”

    Manager: *incredulously* “[My Name]?”

    Customer’s Wife: “Yes. She rolled her eyes at me! And said ‘yes, sir’ to my husband! And was just very flippant!”

    Manager: “Well, ma’am, I shall certainly do something to correct the problem. Sorry for the inconvenience.”

    Customer’s Wife: “Thank you!”

    (The customer’s wife walks away in a huff. The manager shakes her head. The manager turns to me, and I explain what happened. My manager turns to my coworker for verification.)

    Manager: “Was she rude or something?”

    Coworker: “No! She was very nice and polite, as always.”

    Manager: *to me* “Normally, if this was anyone else, I’d say something, but I can’t really get onto you for saying ‘sir.’ Maybe next time she comes in, we should be like, ‘b****, there’s your tree!'”

    Wait Until She Hears The Truth About Santa

    | MI, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer walks into the store, explaining ‘Elf on the Shelf’ to her sister. It is a toy resembling one of Santa’s elves, who sits on a shelf in a child’s room.)

    Customer: “You tell the kids he’s watching them. At night, he flies back to the North Pole to tell Santa if they’re being good. Then you put him someplace else, like he moved while they were sleeping.”

    (The customer sees that we have the plush stuffed elf.)

    Customer: “This is the one they can take to bed. You can’t touch the other one or he loses his magic and can’t fly to the North Pole anymore.”

    Customer’s Sister: “How can you move him around if you can’t touch him?”

    Customer: “…he’s not really magic.”

    Wouldn’t Know Fun If She Drove Into It

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (We are having an annual Christmas parade. It blocks a lot of traffic for about an hour. A driver pulls up to me.)

    Driver: “Excuse me. I need to drive through here. I need to get out to go do some business.”

    Me: “Sorry. The parade is going on right now. You can go the other direction but it’s not safe for you to go this way.”

    Driver: “I have a business to run. This is a business street. If you guys want to have fun you need to go find a fun street and not have fun on our business street!”

    Will Not Leave On The Eve

    | Ocean, NJ, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is Christmas Eve. The store is closing early because of the holiday. The people on the sales floor have herded the last shoppers to the registers. The manager is standing by the door with his keys, and at 2 pm on the dot he locks the entrance door. A customer RACES up and gets inside by ducking through the cart door.)

    Manager: “Sir, we are closed.”

    Customer: “I’m inside the store! You have to let me shop!” *starts to walk around the manager*

    Manager: *sidesteps to stay in front of the customer* “No. I do not. The store is closed, the doors are locked, there is no one on the sales floor to help you, and the registers will be shut down remotely by corporate in less than fifteen minutes.”

    Customer: “Tomorrow’s Christmas. I need to buy presents for my family! The customer is always right!”

    Security: *right behind the manager, grinning* “We have you on camera forcing your way into a closed store. It would make my day if you tried something. I wouldn’t even mind spending Christmas Eve at the police station.”

    Manager: “We are closed. There are no customers in the store when we are closed.”

    (The manager and guard stand shoulder to shoulder and walk towards the man, forcing him to back out the exit door. The customers in line are entertained enough to be relaxed instead of stressed, and we cashiers finish the shift in a GREAT mood. Best Christmas Eve shift, EVER.)

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