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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Tis The Season To Be Tired (Of Customers)

    , | San Mateo, CA, USA | Holidays

    (During the Christmas season, we managers at my store often work 12+ hour days. This day is one of them, and I have been there since 7:30 in the morning; it is now 8 pm. A customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Wow, you sure look tired. When did you start?”

    Me: “7:30–”

    Customer: “That’s the problem with today’s generation. Can’t work a full day without looking like they are falling asleep!”

    Me: “AM, sir.”

    Customer: “Oh…” *walks off with a blank stare on his face*

    One Good Takeout Deserves Another

    | New York, NY, USA | Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (A few years ago, around noon on Christmas day, several dozen Chinese people walked in to our Kosher deli style restaurant, apparently in a group. One walked up to the front desk.)

    Man: *softly* “Is it okay if we’re here?”

    Hostess: “Yes, we serve everyone, but are you sure you’re in the right place?”

    Man: “This is [restaurant], right?”

    Hostess: “Yes sir, it is.”

    Man: “Well, we figured since you Jews are all coming to our restaurants tonight, we’d return the favor.”

    Hostess: *slightly shocked* “Thanks. Right this way…we’ll seat you!”

    (…and they’ve been back every year since!)

    Ah, Fathers, Part 5

    | New York, NY, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (I’m stocking the shelves. A male customer with a small child of about four comes up to me and asks if there is a post office near by. I tell him there is one a couple of blocks away. He looks at the
    clock, then takes his son’s hand and prepares to walk out of the store. The child doesn’t want to go.)

    Customer: *to the child* “Come on, we need to go to the post office. It’ll close soon.”

    Child: “I want to look at toys.”

    Customer: “We have to go now. We can come back later.”

    Child: “You go. I’ll wait here and play.”

    Customer: “You can’t.”

    Child: “Why?”

    Customer: “Because your dad will go to jail for that.”

    (The child looks perplexed.)

    Customer: *trying to explain* “Think smaller Christmas present. And you’ll have to stay with Grandma a lot.”

    Related:
    Ah, Fathers, Part 4
    Ah, Fathers, Part 3
    Ah, Fathers, Part 2
    Ah, Fathers

    Intelligence Doesn’t Grow On Trees

    | Maryland, USA | Holidays

    (A couple is price shopping for their tree.)

    Customer: “How do you figure out the price of the tree?”

    Me: “We count the needles and divide by a thousand.”

    Customer: “Well, that makes sense.”

    Me: “Yeah, it takes a really long time to do each morning.”

    Customer: “You’re BSing me, aren’t you?”

    Me: “Yes sir, I am.”

    A Little Cuckoo

    | Folsom, CA, USA | Holidays, Pets & Animals

    (It is the Christmas season and we sell clothing for dogs and cats. An old lady comes in and finds me standing near the birdcages.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Do you have Santa hats?”

    Me: “Why yes, they’re right here.”

    Customer: *looks them over* “No, these are much too big.”

    Me: “What size of pet are you looking to buy a hat for?”

    Customer: “Small.”

    Me: “A Chihuahua?”

    Customer: “Smaller!”

    Me: “A teacup Yorkie?”

    Customer: “My Cockatoo!”

    Me: “Your…Cockatoo?”

    Customer: “Yes! I need to buy 10 Santa hats. One for each of my beloveds. Do you have any that small?”

    Me: “I don’t believe so.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?! This is a pet store! Why don’t you have any Santa hats for my babies?!”

    Me: *walking toward front door* “Well, ma’am, if you walk about 10 feet to your left, you’ll find [craft store] and I’m sure they’ll have all your Santa hat needs.”

    Customer: “Thank you! This is what good customer service is all about!”

    (She leaves. About an hour later, we receive an angry call.)

    Customer: *enraged* “Why didn’t she tell me it was a craft store and I had to make my own? Who the h*** wants to make their own Santa hats?!”

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