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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Intelligence Doesn’t Grow On Trees

    | Maryland, USA | Holidays

    (A couple is price shopping for their tree.)

    Customer: “How do you figure out the price of the tree?”

    Me: “We count the needles and divide by a thousand.”

    Customer: “Well, that makes sense.”

    Me: “Yeah, it takes a really long time to do each morning.”

    Customer: “You’re BSing me, aren’t you?”

    Me: “Yes sir, I am.”

    A Little Cuckoo

    | Folsom, CA, USA | Holidays, Pets & Animals

    (It is the Christmas season and we sell clothing for dogs and cats. An old lady comes in and finds me standing near the birdcages.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! How can I help you today?”

    Customer: “Do you have Santa hats?”

    Me: “Why yes, they’re right here.”

    Customer: *looks them over* “No, these are much too big.”

    Me: “What size of pet are you looking to buy a hat for?”

    Customer: “Small.”

    Me: “A Chihuahua?”

    Customer: “Smaller!”

    Me: “A teacup Yorkie?”

    Customer: “My Cockatoo!”

    Me: “Your…Cockatoo?”

    Customer: “Yes! I need to buy 10 Santa hats. One for each of my beloveds. Do you have any that small?”

    Me: “I don’t believe so.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?! This is a pet store! Why don’t you have any Santa hats for my babies?!”

    Me: *walking toward front door* “Well, ma’am, if you walk about 10 feet to your left, you’ll find [craft store] and I’m sure they’ll have all your Santa hat needs.”

    Customer: “Thank you! This is what good customer service is all about!”

    (She leaves. About an hour later, we receive an angry call.)

    Customer: *enraged* “Why didn’t she tell me it was a craft store and I had to make my own? Who the h*** wants to make their own Santa hats?!”

    Cheapskating Around The Issue

    | Mississauga, ON, Canada | Holidays, Money, Top

    (The store is very popular around Christmas time. We have a general rule not to do price adjustments, particularly on Christmas gifts as they were always marked down after the holidays. A customer hands me receipt; he has no bags with him.)

    Customer: “I’d like to do a price adjustment for these gifts.”

    Me: “I’m sorry sir, but we don’t do price adjustments.”

    Customer: “Well, then I’ll return them and buy them back on sale. So give me back the money for them.”

    Me: “I can’t give you back money for products that you don’t give back to me.”

    Customer: “I’m just going to buy them back for the sale price right away anyways, so just give me the money back!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but without the products I can’t give you any money back or do a price adjustment. If you bring in the products I will gladly return and re-sell them to you.”

    Customer: “I’ve already given them away! They were Christmas gifts for my family, you idiot!”

    Me: “Can you let your family know that you want to take their gifts back so that you can get some money back from them?”

    Customer: “What do I look like to you, some kind of cheapskate?!”

    Tis The Pre-Season

    | Westerville, OH, USAWesterville, OH, USA | Holidays

    Customer: “Excuse me, are you all not releasing Christmas ornaments this year?”

    Me: “No, we’re still going to be releasing them.”

    Customer: “Well it’s awfully late. Are they delayed this year? They’re usually out by now.”

    Me: “It’s June, sir. They’ll be out in July like always.”

    Customer: “Oh my! It gets later and later every year.”

    Try Not To Read Too Much Into It

    | Winchester, UK | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, Funny Names, Holidays, Top

    (A six or seven year old boy comes into the children’s bookstore, his mother trailing behind him.)

    Mother: “Go on then! Ask! She won’t know what you’re talking about and then you can stop wasting my time!”

    Boy: “Hello!”

    Me: “Hello.”

    Boy: “I want a book.”

    Me: “Well you’re in the right place.”

    Boy: “It’s about a boy. Who lives with a caveman. He’s got a funny name beginning with ‘S’.”

    Mother: “There. Now you know there’s no such book.”

    Me: “That wouldn’t be ‘Stig of the Dump’ would it?”

    Boy: *jumping up and down* “Yes yes yes! I told you mummy!”

    Mother: “Don’t contradict me in front of my son!” *starts walking her son out of the shop and still talking to me* “You read too many books!”


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