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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    You’d Need Nine Mouths

    | Allentown, PA, USA | Holidays, Religion

    (A customer walking by pauses at the holiday clearance display, where I am standing.)

    Customer: “Is this a musical instrument?”

    Me: “No, that’s a menorah.”

    Customer: “A what?”

    Me: “A menorah. The candleholder used in the celebration of Hanukkah.”

    Customer: “Do you know how to play it?”

    All Karma’d Out

    | Australia | Holidays

    Customer: “Do you have any boxed Christmas cards?”

    Me: “Yes, we have two shelves over there. Have you seen those?”

    Customer: “Yes, but do you have any that don’t donate to charity?”

    Me: “I don’t think so.”

    Customer: “Fine, I’ll go shopping somewhere else!”

    Santa Will Not Be Pleased

    | Bellevue, WA, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (It’s three weeks until Christmas, and I’m ringing up a customer when her child speaks up.)

    Child: “Mommy, when’s Christmas?”

    Customer: “When you eat each and every one of the chocolates from the advent calendar, it’ll be Christmas.”

    Child: “But I already ate all of the chocolate…”

    The Son You Wish You Had

    | Concord, NH, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (I am a greeter for the line to get pictures taken with Santa. A young mother and her two-year-old walk in.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you folks doing today? Some little guy sure is adorable!”

    Mom: “Hi! Oh, thanks! He looks just like Justin Bieber!”

    Me: “Er…congratulations?”

    Of Low Prices And Lower Expectations

    | Ft. Wayne, IN, USA | Holidays, Top

    (Every item in our store is one dollar.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, I need help with your Christmas ties. I can’t get them to work.”

    (The ties in question play music when you press the button.)

    Me: “Of course, ma’am. All you have to do is press the button firmly and hold for two seconds. The button isn’t super sensitive to light presses to avoid the music playing from an accidental press.”

    (I show the customer the difference between lightly pushing and intentionally pushing the button.)

    Customer: *lightly pushes the button* “See, these don’t work!”

    Me: “Ma’am, just press and hold the button for 2 seconds.”

    (I demonstrate again in case she hadn’t seen it the first time.)

    Customer: *pushes button several times very quickly* “You must be lying to me. It still doesn’t work!”

    Me: “Ma’am, all you have to do is push the button once and hold it for 2 seconds.”

    Customer: *pushes and holds button* “Finally! These aren’t very good quality, are they?!”

    (Another customer who has been listening from the next aisle speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “Ugh, lady, you’re in a dollar store! It’s a Christmas tie. You press the button for two seconds and it plays music. It costs a dollar. What more do you want?!”

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