• Understood The Concept Swimmingly
    (1,544 thumbs up)
  • November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Demands Are Reaching Breaking Point

    | Hartford, CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

    (It is Thanksgiving night and our store has been open for about four hours already. It’s been very busy and we have a much larger than normal team to oversee. A woman has approaches my coworker, asking about a certain item.)

    Coworker: “Well, I’m not sure. Let me find someone to ask.”

    (He calls on his walkie for that section and gets no response. I happen to be walking by when he stops me and asks if I know.)

    Me: “Sorry, I really don’t know at all. Who’s here right now?”

    (The guest meanders off a few feet looking at another display. We look at the schedule trying to find who is here and not on break since we all came in around the same time and by law need a 30-minute non-paid break.)

    Customer: “I just don’t understand what is taking so long. Why is it so d*** hard to find someone? Why can’t anyone just get this item for me?”

    (As this goes on my coworker is trying to get someone to answer on the walkie.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But we can’t leave the front end because of how busy we are. If you can give me just a moment, please. I need to check the schedule before I can call someone. We’re just trying to find out who is here and not on break right now.”

    Customer: “Well, why would they be on break?”

    Me: “We all came in around the same time to open the store tonight and we have to stagger our breaks, so I just need a moment to find out who is on the floor right now.”

    Customer: “I just don’t understand why the hell anyone would be on break! They’re here to work! Not to take a break! They need to get back to work! This is bad business!”

    Me: “Do you take a break at work?”

    Customer: *scoffs* “Well, of COURSE I do!”

    Me: “Then wouldn’t you think we should get a break, too?”

    Customer: “No! Not tonight! This is different! Why is no one able to help me!”

    (By some miracle, God smiles down on me and someone from a nearby section answers on the walkie and says to send the guest down.)

    Customer: “Finally! This shouldn’t have taken so f****** long! I’ll be calling corporate!”

    Me: “You do that. Happy Thanksgiving!”

    Very Closed Minded

    | Bastrop, TX, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays

    (The store that this takes place in is open 24/7 and is only closed for Christmas Day. One night, around 9:30, a customer calls the store and I answer it.)

    Me: ”[Location] [Store] customer service. This is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I was calling to ask when you close tonight.”

    Me: “Customer service or the store?”

    Customer: “The store.”

    Me: “The store stays open 24 hours, ma’am.”

    Customer: “No, no, no. When does the store close?”

    Me: “It doesn’t. It stays open 24/7.”

    Customer: *sounding annoyed* “NO! I’m not asking when it is open I want to know when it CLOSES!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the next time we’ll close, excluding things beyond our control, will be 8 pm on Christmas Eve.”

    (After hearing that, the customer starts to yell into the phone.)


    Me: *wincing and pulling the headset from my ear as a pair of customers approach the counter* “Ma’am, please don’t yell. I am attempting to tell you that the store does not close.”


    Me: “Listen, ma’am, the store DOES NOT CLOSE UNTIL THEN!”


    Me: “Listen, if you cannot understand that WE DO NOT, I REPEAT, NOT CLOSE, then I don’t know what to tell you.” *click*

    (I turn to the two customers who’ve been waiting at the counter.)

    Me: “Sorry about that. How can I help you?”

    In-Store Customer: *chuckling* “So, when do you close?”

    Political Correctness Takes A Holiday

    | NY, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Holidays, Religion, Top

    (I am the third customer in line. There’s a woman at the register, then a man dressed in a way that clearly indicates he is a Christian minister. It’s two days before Thanksgiving.)

    Cashier: “Thank you and I hope you have a great holiday.”

    Customer: “A great holiday? What the f***! It’s Merry CHRISTMAS. I am so tired of this PC bull-s***, you stupid little—”

    Minister: “Maybe she was talking about Thanksgiving.”

    (The customer turns around snarling.)

    Customer: “Shut the fu… uu…”

    (She trails off when she notices his outfit. She blushes furiously, gathers her bags, and rushes out. The minister steps up.)

    Minister: “Which candy bar is better, the plain chocolate or the almond?”

    Cashier: “The almond is good!”

    (The minister adds that to his purchases. After he pays, he hands the cashier the candy bar.)

    Minister: “I hope you have a fantastic holiday.”


    See this story as a comic!

    Making A Meal Out Of It, Part 2

    | Pekin, IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Holidays

    (I work in the deli section. The deli has special holiday dinners you order and take home. All customers are told their order is pre-cooked; they just need to warm it up. Lots of customers call and say that they were under the impression that their meal would be hot, but one customer took the cake on that…)

    Me: Thank you for calling [Store]. How can I help you today?

    Caller: “I ordered one of your holiday meals, and I am not happy with it.”

    Me: “Can you explain what made you dissatisfied, Ma’am?”

    Caller: “I thought it would be hot.”

    Me: “No, Ma’am. All of the holiday meals are pre-cooked. You just have to heat them up.”

    Caller: “No one told me this!”

    Me: “Ma’am, did you place the order yourself?”

    Caller: “Yes, but no one said anything about ME having to cook!”

    Me: “Ma’am, whoever took your order should have made it clear that you don’t have to cook, just use the warmer setting on your oven, or use a microwave. If you received a copy of your order form, it also clearly states that you just heat and serve.”

    Caller: “Fine. That is not such a big problem, but I paid $50 for this, and it’s not complete!”

    Me: “What is missing from your order? We can locate it, and have it ready for you to pick up from [Store] within twenty minutes.”

    Caller: “The dishes.”

    Me: “Excuse me, ma’am?”

    Caller: “The DISHES! You know the white china in the ad? Isn’t it included? I paid $50, and you lousy workers didn’t cook it for me, OR give me the CHINA I PAID FOR!”

    Me: “Ma’am, you don’t get dishes with the meal. Only the food.”

    Caller: “Why charge me so much if you aren’t going to provide everything? Take it off the d*** ad, then! You are misleading the public!” *click*

    From Not Always Friendly:
    Making A Meal Out Of It

    More Thanks-taking Than Thanksgiving

    | Kansas City, Mo, USA | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Holidays, Wild & Unruly

    (I am working in a grocery store meat department on Thanksgiving day stocking the hams and turkeys as fast as I can. I have just announced over the speaker that we have five fresh, unfrozen turkeys left, and we are waiting for the rush of people to get them. When there is only one left, predictably two customers grab for it.)

    Customer #1: “Hey, this is mine. I saw it before you did.”

    Customer #2: “No way! I walked all the way across the store to get it. It’s mine! I’m going home with it.”

    Customer #1: “Why don’t you get a ham or something? I need this turkey for my dinner tonight. You can get something else.”

    Customer #2: “Listen, you fat cow, you can buy the f****** ham. I’m getting this turkey.”

    (At this point I figure I’d better get involved and run over.)

    Me: “Ladies, we do have fresh turkey breasts available as well as hams and ducks. There are even a couple of geese leftover—”

    Customer #2: “F*** you! I’m getting this d*** turkey and there’s nothing you can do about it.”

    (Customer #2 then shoves her cart into the other woman, causing her to fall into the display of stuffing next to her, and runs off with the turkey. Hoping it’s over, I go to help the other customer up, but she slaps my hand, gets to her feet, and tackles the other customer. I call security. Before they can get there I see that Customer #3 has spotted Customer #1’s now abandoned cart and purse. She runs over and dumps Customer #1’s purse into her own and then grabs just about everything out of her cart including a bag of prescription medication, before running off. I shout at her but she disappears into a crowd of people. Customers #1 and #2 are now rolling on the floor in the bread aisle while security is trying to pull them apart. While this goes on, Customer #4 approaches Customer #2’s cart and grabs the turkey and most everything in her cart. Security eventually pulls them apart and they are both arrested. Sadly, Customer #3, who stole Customer #1’s purse, is never caught as the cart was in a blind spot.)