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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Cooking Up A Storm

    | MD, USA | Family & Kids, Holidays

    (A confused woman and her child, about nine years old, approaches the counter.)

    Customer: “Whole lot of people here today, isn’t there? Never seen it so busy.”

    Me: “We get quite a crowd for Black Friday sale, yeah.”

    Customer: *confused* “Black Friday?”

    Me: “Retail nickname for the day after Thanksgiving.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know, but that’s today? Yesterday was Thanksgiving?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Customer: *looks down at her daughter* “Why didn’t you tell me it was Thanksgiving? Your grandmother is going to have my hide for missing dinner!”

    (The sweet looking little kid looks back and smiles.)

    Daughter: “Well, nana’s cooking sucks anyway.”

    Inaction Figures

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (It is Black Friday. I’m shopping in the toy department of a store, taking a picture of an action figure that I plan on buying for a friend’s nephew. As I want to make sure the boy doesn’t have it already, I am sending the picture to my friend to check. I do not, nor have ever worked there.)

    Woman #1: *talking loudly* “It’s so busy here today! Sure would be nice if I could figure out where the Avengers figures are!”

    Woman #2: “Tell me about it; I can’t find anything!”

    (I write them off as overly loud and ignore them while I wait for my friend to text me back.)

    Woman #1: “You know, where I work we’re not allowed to even look at our cellphones, let alone talk on one.”

    Woman #2: “You’d get fired at my job for using my phone.”

    Woman #1: “It’s amazing the things people think they can do on the job these days. It’s ridiculous!”

    Woman #2: “I know! They think they can pretend like they’re home and get paid for it.”

    (They carry on like this while I wait. Finally, I get a reply text from my friend, grab the toy and walk off. About a minute later I look down, realize I am wearing a red fleece which the same shade as the staff uniforms, and suddenly everything clicks. They were passive-aggressively trying to get my attention for the better part of five minutes. By the way, if they had turned around they would have found what they were looking for!)

    Makes You Want To Throw In The Towel

    | KY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (Two coworkers are discussing the recent Black Friday sale.)

    Coworker #1: “I just heard two women arguing in the towel section.”

    Coworker #2: “Over what?”

    Coworker #1: “The towels. Apparently, they are a hot item this year.”

    Coworker #2: “What do you mean?”

    Coworker #1: “One lady was quicker than the other, so she snagged the towel when another lady also wanted the same one. They argued over it until the first lady broke the second lady’s finger.”

    Coworker #2: *shakes head* “Over a towel!”

    Cold Hearts Can Lead To Warm Cockles

    | Manchester, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (My friend works at a coffee kiosk at a train station. We are experiencing the coldest day of the year so far. It is only 30 minutes after opening, so she has not had a chance to warm up.)

    Customer #1: “Cinnamon latte. Small. Now.”

    My Friend: “Of course, sir.”

    (My friend starts making the latte, but her hands are numb from the cold and she makes mistakes. There is a heater near her, but it only really helps her legs.)

    Customer #1: “Will you hurry up? It’s freezing! Can’t believe I had to wait for a train in this weather! At least my office will be nice and warm when I get there!”

    (Customer #1 carries on ranting and raving about the weather. At this point, another customer behind him, Customer #2, speaks up.)

    Customer #2: “At least you don’t have to work in this weather!”

    Customer #1: *smugly* “She has a heater! And the coffee machines are spewing steam all the time. She’ll be fine!”

    Customer #2: “Would you want to work here?”

    Customer #1: “Would I, heck! It’s too cold!”

    (At this point the transaction is finished and he runs off to his platform.)

    Customer #2: *to my friend* “What an idiot! What do you recommend from the new range?”

    My Friend: “The gingerbread latte is pretty good.”

    Customer #2: “Okay. I’ll have two, please.”

    (My friend makes his order and hands him the two lattes.)

    Customer #2: “Here, for you!”

    (He takes the second drink and places it in front of my friend, but walks off before she can say anything. The festive period has begun, so there are going to be even more brutish and rude customers than usual. However, there are some really nice ones out there too! Happy Holidays!)

    Happy Spanksgiving

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Holidays, Pets & Animals, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

    (I am at the airport heading home for Thanksgiving. As I put my laptop back in my bag after security, a present for my dog—who stay with my parents while I’m at college—falls out.)

    Other Traveler: “Dear, you dropped your handcuffs. Wait. Are handcuffs allowed? Sir!” *signals a TSA agent* “She has handcuffs!”

    (The TSA agent walks over and speaks to me, somewhat confused.)

    TSA Agent: “Something about handcuffs?”

    Me: *holds up the toy: three connected, tightly woven rings*

    TSA Agent: “I see.” *to the other traveler* “Miss, those are not handcuffs, and please don’t call us like that; it could cause a panic.”

    Woman: “Oh, so handcuffs are allowed?”

    Me: “It’s for my dog. It’s a toy.”

    Woman: “Oh, such a kinky thing to call your boyfriend! You naughty thing!”

    (The agent and I share looks, but I decide to let her have her idea. Next, I take out the scarf I bought my dog to tie around the rings.)

    Woman: “…And a gag too? Lord girl, what will your parents think?!”

    TSA Agent: “That she’s giving me a better busy Thanksgiving day at work than I thought!”


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