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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    For You, We’re Always Closed, Part 3

    | Foley, AL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    Me: “Customer service. How may I direct your call?”

    Customer: “Is this [Hardware Store]?”

    (I’m slightly confused, as to call the store you have to go through a menu and press certain numbers to actually get customer service, so it should be very clear that we are [Hardware Store].)

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, your automatic thingy didn’t say so!”

    Me: “Oh, um… okay. Is there anything I can help you with?”

    Customer: “Yes! I was really surprised to hear you’re closed on Thanksgiving!”

    Me: “Yes, Ma’am. We’re very happy to spend the day with our families.”

    Customer: “Your families? So you’re closed? What if MY family needs to buy something? Your family isn’t more important than mine! When you work in a store you should know you can’t have a family!”

    Me: “Ma’am, what exactly would you have to buy from [Hardware Store] on Thanksgiving Day?”

    Customer: “Well… well, I don’t know, but you should be open anyway! Just in case!”

    Related:
    For You, We’re Always Closed, Part 2
    For You, We’re Always Closed

    Christmas Is Their Cross To Bear

    | IL, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays, Religion, Themed Giveaway

    (It is a few days before Christmas. I am finishing up with a patron. At this point, she has been nice and cheerful.)

    Me: “Okay. We will give you a call when the book comes in. Thank you and have a good night!”

    Patron: “Aren’t you forgetting something?”

    Me: “Um, no. I handed you back your card, didn’t I?”

    Patron: “No. You didn’t address me correctly. Try again.”

    Me: “…Have a good night, miss?”

    Patron: “It is the time of Christ and you did not bless me with a Merry Christmas. What kind of Christian establishment hires such heathens that do not bless their customers with the correct Christian way?”

    Me: “Well, honestly, ma’am, this isn’t a Christian establishment. It’s a public library. I apologize for not wishing you a Merry Christmas.”

    Patron: “Every single place on this Earth is a Christian establishment and until you realize this you are headed straight to Hell. Next time I come in, I expect you to bless me and have a proper Christian attitude. I will take this up with your boss if your behavior continues to trend this way.”

    (She stares me down for a few minutes and then leaves. I later find out she did complain to my director and insisted she follow the laws of God by only employing good Christian people!)

    Going Bananas About Pajamas

    | AB, Canada | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (It’s December 23rd. I have never worked a Christmas at my current job.)

    Me: “Hello. Are you finding everything alright?”

    Customer: “Um, no. I can’t find your pajamas.”

    (I’m really confused by this. We are a hardware store, and so do not and have never sold pajamas.)

    Me: “Sorry. Did you say pajamas?”

    Customer: “Obviously. What are you, deaf!? They are clothes that you you wear to bed. Do you understand now?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we don’t sell pajamas.”

    Customer: “Well the very nice young lady across the street said you would have the pj’s I’m looking for. I came in last week and I couldn’t find them. So I went to the [Big Clothing Store] across the street. She definitely said you were getting a shipment of purple and pink flowered pj’s today.”

    Me: “Again, as I said, we don’t sell sleepwear. If you would like I can tell you another store which might have what you are looking for, or bring my manager to confirm we don’t have any pajamas.”

    (The customer is very visibly upset by this, and starts yelling and cursing at me.)

    Customer: “What kind of store doesn’t sell pj’s at the holidays! I am holding you personally responsible, you b****! Why dont you get your manager and tell him that!?”

    (As the customer says this she knocks over a whole shelf of Christmas ornaments and other decorations.)

    Customer: “I hope you have an awful Christmas!”

    (The customer starts hurling more insults and horrible names as she walks out. A coworker has observed all of the proceedings.)

    Coworker: “–and a happy new year!”

    Customer: “F*** you too!”

    Dressing Up The Wrong Tree

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (I am working the fitting room in a clothing store on Christmas Eve. It is pretty dead until a customer walks up to me holding three tree skirts.)

    Customer: “Hi. Can I try these on?”

    Me: “Uh, ma’am, you know those are tree skirts? Right? Those things you put around the bottom of a Christmas tree?”

    Customer: “Oh, I know. I just thought they’d make great Christmas ponchos!”

    Don’t Even Want To Know What A Milkshake Is

    | Lafeyette, LA, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (My store is selling goodie bags of various candies as stocking stuffers. One of the candies we use are colorful chocolate-flavored spheres a little smaller than gumballs. We use only white ones for the goodie bags. The label refers to them as ‘snowman poop,’ with a little poem about how the child it’s for has been naughty. A couple roaming the store have caught sight of the goodie bags, and the man is particularly interested in the snowman poop.)

    Man: “Snowman poop? It’s normally marshmallows… He must have been constipated!”

    (I double over laughing, and the man begins cheering for himself for having caused such a reaction.)


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