Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
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  • Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    The Diet Of Tomorrow

    | Temagami, ON, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s just after Christmas:)

    Customer: “Hi, do you have [popular diet book]?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, we have no copies left in store. It is on order and more will arrive in mid-January, if you can wait that long.”

    Customer: “Sure, that’s fine. I have a lot of chocolate to eat before then anyways.”

    Dozed And Disrobed

    | NY, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work at a popular women’s clothing and lingerie chain. It’s around five pm on Christmas Eve, shortly before we close. A middle aged man hurries in and has me direct him to our very diminished bathrobe section.)

    Customer: “…you only have four bathrobes? I need a medium for my wife and these are all extra small!”

    Me: *trying to joke a little* “Yeah, looks like the elves cleaned out all of the robes, I’m sorry about that. Do you think she would like pajamas instead? We have quite a few flannel sets left in medium—”

    Customer: “No, she said she wanted a robe! Don’t you have any more in the back?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’ve checked the back a few times for other customers today, so I know for sure that these are the only few we have left in the store.”

    Customer: *raising his voice and throwing his hands in the air now* “I don’t believe this! It’s f****** ridiculous that this is all you have!”

    (He storms away from me and out of the store before I can reply. My manager, who had been behind the cash register during this, came over to me, shaking her head.)

    Manager: “What’s even more ridiculous is that he waited until CHRISTMAS EVE to go shopping and expected to find the stuff he was looking for…”

    Get Into The Antichrist-mas Spirit

    | Ocean Springs, MS, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (There is soft Christmas music playing overhead.)

    Customer: “Can you change this to Christmas music? Put it on [FM radio station].”

    Me: “Christmas music is currently playing and this is satellite radio.”

    Customer: “No, this is about Santa. SANTA equals SATAN! So change it to [FM radio station], now!”

    Me: “Sir, once again, it’s satellite radio. I can’t change it to a local station.”

    Customer: “So I have to sit here and listen to this?!”

    Me: “No, you may leave.”

    Won’t Yield To Their Tub-thumping

    | Mansfield, MA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working at a small chain toy store, the kind where very little is electronic. We do have birthday parties, where parents can come in and buy toys and put them in a tub, which we’d wrap for the party. This happens around Christmas. I’ve just rung up this woman’s purchases, something around $200.)

    Me: “Okay, that’ll be [price].”

    Woman: “Fine, but can you hold these for me for a few days?”

    (This is not something we could do. An hour, maybe, but definitely not a few days. I tell her that.)

    Woman: “But those tubs up there, you could just put it in one of those.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but those are just for birthday parties that are being hosted here.”

    Woman: “Well, I came here to do some shopping for my kids, and they’re here, so I can’t take them home now.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, there really isn’t anything I can do. Store policy won’t let me keep them here.”

    Woman: “I’m spending my money here, and you won’t even help me with my kids’ Christmas presents?”

    Me: “I’m happy to help you find anything, order anything, and wrap anything, but I can’t break store policy.”

    Woman: *now grabbing her kids, who were quietly playing with some of the open toys that are available* “You just lost a customer! I will never come back to this f****** store!”

    Tazed And Confused

    | Melbourne, FL, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a new worker at a big convenience store. It’s near Christmas, a few weeks after Halloween. A mother and her daughter, looking about 10 or 11, walk in and pause near my aisle.)

    Daughter: “Hey, Mom I have a cramp! Did you know that your whole BODY does a cramp if you’re tazed?”

    Woman: “Do you wanna know how to avoid that?”

    Daughter: “Don’t go to Black Friday?”

    Woman: “No, silly, I meant the cramps.”

    Daughter: “Oh.”

    (That made my day, and I am now afraid to work on Black Friday!)

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