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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Banked That Day Off

    | IL, USA | Holidays

    (It’s the week of Thanksgiving. I am closing with my supervisor and another coworker. Please note that this particular coworker had an open to close shift that day and is very tired.)

    Customer: *pulls up in the drive-thru* “Are you guys open on Thursday?”

    Coworker: “No, we are closed for Thanksgiving. We will be open normal hours on Friday.”

    Customer: “You guys should be open. What if someone needs money?”

    Coworker: “Sir, will YOU be at the bank on Thursday?”

    Customer: “Heck, no. I’ll be eating lots of food and spending time with my family!”

    Coworker: “Exactly. And the rest of us want to do that, too. That’s why we’re not open. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Uh… no. I think I’m good.”

    Coworker: “Enjoy your evening.” *customer drives off, coworker turns around to see the supervisor and me laughing our heads off*

    Me: “That was great!”

    Coworker: “Will I get in trouble for saying that?!”

    Supervisor: “Heck, no! You tell ’em!”

    Thank You For Coming In But Not Really

    | GA, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays

    (Our store, unlike our competitors, is open every day but Christmas. It is Thanksgiving. I’m the bagger.)

    Customer: “What are you doing open on Thanksgiving?”

    Me: “Well, this store stays open for normal hours every day but Christmas.”

    Customer: “That’s not good; you should be with your family.”

    (We have been keeping track of how many people say this, something that frustrates us as we would LOVE to be home.)

    Me: “Well, as long as it is profitable to be open today, the store is open.”

    Customer: “That’s too bad; its a shame they make you work today.”

    Me: *to the cashier, after customer leaves* “I think my comment about the profitable was too subtle. Don’t these people realize we are only open because they come to buy things?”

    (That day we counted around 200 people saying it was a shame we were working on Thanksgiving.)

    Knows Not What He Seis

    | Santa Rosa, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Holidays

    (I work at the customer service booth of a major grocery store. Customers have to fill out a form to rent a carpet cleaner; I usually fill in information like the date and time for them. On the fourth of May a customer rented a carpet cleaner for 24 hours. The next day, he brings back the machine and I have him sign and date the return.)

    Customer: “You got your dates wrong.”

    Me: “How?”

    Customer: “You put down the fifth. It’s May sixth, Cinco de Mayo. Didn’t you know?”

    Judged Unworthy To Judge

    | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays, Religion

    (I am wearing rabbit ears the week before the Easter holiday while I ring groceries.)

    Customer: “And do you go to church on Easter?”

    Me: “No, I celebrate with baskets, candy, and a nice family meal.”

    Customer: “I don’t think Jesus would approve of that.”

    Me: “Luckily for me, Jesus wasn’t exactly known to judge people.”

    (That shut him up!)

    Reached The Tipping Point

    | Huntsville, AL, USA | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Holidays, Money

    (We are catering a Christmas party for a client and his seventy employees. The party includes an open bar and dinner. There are four servers, and two bartenders. I am a bartender. After five hours of making non-stop bar drinks, and receiving non-stop compliments on our drinks, last call arrives, and this conversation happens.)

    Client: “I need to go ahead and sign the check. Can you print me one ticket for everything?”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Here you are.” *hands over one complete invoice*

    Client: “I needed this separate.”

    Me: “Oh, yes, sir. I’m sorry. Here.” *separates food and drink tickets and hands them over*

    Client: “No, this isn’t right. I need a complete ticket.”

    Me: “I don’t understand. You want the tickets together?”

    Client: “No! Where the h*** is [Server not working that night]? She knows how I want things done! I REQUESTED HER AND SHE ISN’T HERE TONIGHT!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. I don’t know why she’s not working. Now, about the ticket…”

    Client: “NO! I REQUESTED HER. She’s my friend; she knows how I want things done on the invoice. I won’t come back next year for my Christmas party if you won’t do what I want.”

    Me: “If you could explain to me, I can help you.”

    Client: “Never mind, I’ll just sign this ticket. Did you autograt this?”

    Me: “Yes, sir, 15%.”

    Client: “And you’re sharing that with everyone working tonight?                  ”

    Me: “Yes, sir. Between six people.”

    Client: “Well, then, that’s more than enough for you.” *signs, leaves no extra tip, and stomps out*

    (He baffled the entire crew, since he spent five hours giving us nothing but compliments on our service, and never once mentioned the other server’s absence. I can only guess that when he saw the large bill, he made up a reason to be angry so he wouldn’t have to tip any extra for the incredible service we provided. Splitting the 15% between the servers, we barely made minimum wage.)

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