Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

Acting Irregular Over Regular Price

| Santa Cruz, CA, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(We are a discount store that never has sales because our prices are already low. This year we open on Thanksgiving evening and stay open through Black Friday, though everything is regular price. A customer walks into store about an hour after we open.)

Me: *at cash counter* “Good evening, ma’am!”

Customer: “I heard you guys are opening now and aren’t closing until midnight on Black Friday!”

Me: “Yes, we’re going to be open all night tonight and all day tomorrow.”

Customer: “Great! I’m surprised there’s nobody here. So, what are the specials?”

Me: “Well, we actually aren’t having any sales; our prices are already rock-bottom.”

Customer: *confused* “So everything is regular price?”

Me: “That is correct.”

Customer: *shouting* “Then why the h*** am I here? I should be at home spending time with my family, not wasting time shopping at full price! I only came because I thought there’d be a good sale! You wasted my time and took me away from my family!”

Me: *pointedly* “I agree. I don’t like being away from my family on holidays either. Have a nice night.”

Customer: *leaves in a huff*

Are Jew Crazy?!

| San Diego, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Holidays, Religion

(It’s mid-morning on Black Friday. A jovial customer comes in, hits on the young lady I’m ringing out, and then walks around the counter after being rejected. He sees my coworker.)

Customer: “Hey! Hey, man. Are you Jewish?”

Coworker: “What? No?”

Customer: “Oh, good. So you’re American!”

Coworker: “…what?”

(The customer then quite happily left the store.)

She Passed With Flying Colors

| NY, USA | Awesome Workers, Family & Kids, Holidays

(I organize events for special needs children and their families. I also work as a female clown. A little girl has approached my table.)

Me: “Well, hi there! Would you like to get your face painted today?”

Girl: “Yes! I want [Popular Children’s Character]!”

(She takes a seat, and as I get my supplies I notice she is staring at my head. I am bald due to a medical condition, so I wear nice-quality wigs which, despite their artificial colors, are often mistaken as real hair. Today I’m wearing bright pink.)

Me: “All righty, then! [Children’s Character] it is. My name is [My Clown Name]; what’s your name?”

Girl: “[Girl].” *pauses as I ready the paints* “How is your hair pink? Is it REALLY pink or fake? I don’t think hair can actually be like that.”

(Her mother begins to speak up, but I wink at her.)

Me: “Well, I have special hair! I can make it any color I want. Today it’s pink, but tomorrow it might not be.”

Girl: “Wow! Is that magic?”

Me: “Yup, it’s kind of like magic!”

(I proceed to paint her face, fielding several questions about my ‘powers’ to the amusement of the mother. Later the mother explains that due to her rabid love of this popular ‘magical’ franchise, other kids have begun to make her doubt the existence of magic. Weeks later, I am hosting a Halloween event when I spot the same little girl, dressed as one of the franchise characters.)

Me: “Hi, [Girl]! I like your costume.”

Girl: “Thanks! It’s my favorite—”

(She stops abruptly and her eyes go wide. Sure enough, I am wearing a curly purple wig. Her mother grins.)

Girl: “Whoooooaaaaaa.” *to her mother* “Mommy, look!”

Mother: “See? I told you it was real magic!”

(As if on cue, my coworker comes out from behind a trick-or-treat door, dressed as [Main Franchise Character] and signing another child’s autograph. The girl looks starstruck.)

Girl: “Oh. My. GOSH.”

Mother: *laughing* “Aaaaaaaand that’s just made our Halloween.”

(It made mine, too!)

Comic: Starting A New Year Revolution

, | OH, USA | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Comics, Food & Drink, Holidays

More Sour Than Sweet

| Eugene, OR, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Do you carry sweet and sour sauce?”

Me: “I don’t think I have any left. Let’s go check the food section.”

(I check.)

Me: “No ,we don’t have any in.”

Customer: “Oh, this is actually a Christmas gift for her.” *points to someone who is in ear shot* “You have just ruined it for her!”

(I immediately have a bitchy inner monologue with myself, saying ‘I’m not a f****** mind reader; don’t take someone you are Christmas shopping for with you when you go!)

Customer: “Where can I go to get this sauce?”

Me: “The grocery store…” *walks away*

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