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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Happens Every Holiday

    | Newmarket, England, UK | Holidays

    (I am working on a till on a bank holiday Monday. I have finished scanning items, the client is paying, and we are engaging in small talk:)

    Me: “The weather is good for a bank holiday, isn’t it?”

    Customer: “Yes, isn’t it lovely that everybody gets to enjoy a day off?”

    Me: “…”

    (I am clearly not here for fun!)

    Had A Mourn-day Thursday

    | Europe | Holidays, Religion, Theme Of The Month

    (I am working in a call centre for a large company. This weekend was our weekend off because of the Easter celebration. A colleague, located somewhere else in Europe, is backing our line while we are away.)

    Customer: “Hello, I am looking for [My Name]. I have talked to him before and need help from him.”

    Coworker: “Well, [My Name] has his day off because of Easter.”

    Customer: “GOD D*** IT! Why should he celebrate Easter? I need help with my product NOW!”

    Coworker: *pulls up the file* “Well, I can see here that you were supposed to call him on Thursday to let him know about the issue.”

    Customer: “Thursday? No, I couldn’t. I took the day off because of Easter.”

    Annual And Null

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

    (It is the Monday after Thanksgiving. A patient calls the office absolutely irate.)

    Patient: “I just wanted to tell you I was here last Thursday for my appointment and no one was at the office! What are you going to do about this?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, last Thursday was Thanksgiving.”

    Patient: “I know that! I gave up time with my family to drive all the way over there to my appointment and you couldn’t even bother to come in! How unprofessional can you be?”

    Me: “Ma’am, we’ve NEVER been open on Thanksgiving. Our schedule isn’t even set up to accept appointments on that day.”

    Patient: *smugly* “Then how come I have an appointment card for [date]? Hmmm? I’m looking at it right now.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I don’t know. Let me look into this.”

    (Puts patient on hold and checks schedule. The next is said in my most sickeningly sweet voice.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you’re right. You did have an appointment on [date]—”

    Patient: “You see?! How unprofessional!”

    Me: “—last year. When we were open. The card you have is over a year old.”

    Patient: “Well, how was I supposed to know that?!” *click*

    Me: *to the dead phone* “Well, maybe if you’d clean your purse out more than once a year?”

    Banked That Day Off

    | IL, USA | Holidays

    (It’s the week of Thanksgiving. I am closing with my supervisor and another coworker. Please note that this particular coworker had an open to close shift that day and is very tired.)

    Customer: *pulls up in the drive-thru* “Are you guys open on Thursday?”

    Coworker: “No, we are closed for Thanksgiving. We will be open normal hours on Friday.”

    Customer: “You guys should be open. What if someone needs money?”

    Coworker: “Sir, will YOU be at the bank on Thursday?”

    Customer: “Heck, no. I’ll be eating lots of food and spending time with my family!”

    Coworker: “Exactly. And the rest of us want to do that, too. That’s why we’re not open. Is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Uh… no. I think I’m good.”

    Coworker: “Enjoy your evening.” *customer drives off, coworker turns around to see the supervisor and me laughing our heads off*

    Me: “That was great!”

    Coworker: “Will I get in trouble for saying that?!”

    Supervisor: “Heck, no! You tell ’em!”

    Thank You For Coming In But Not Really

    | GA, USA | At The Checkout, Holidays

    (Our store, unlike our competitors, is open every day but Christmas. It is Thanksgiving. I’m the bagger.)

    Customer: “What are you doing open on Thanksgiving?”

    Me: “Well, this store stays open for normal hours every day but Christmas.”

    Customer: “That’s not good; you should be with your family.”

    (We have been keeping track of how many people say this, something that frustrates us as we would LOVE to be home.)

    Me: “Well, as long as it is profitable to be open today, the store is open.”

    Customer: “That’s too bad; its a shame they make you work today.”

    Me: *to the cashier, after customer leaves* “I think my comment about the profitable was too subtle. Don’t these people realize we are only open because they come to buy things?”

    (That day we counted around 200 people saying it was a shame we were working on Thanksgiving.)

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