Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (3,020 thumbs up)
  • Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 2

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (There is a sizable line in the drive-thru. A rental car pulls up to order.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]; how can I serve you today?”

    (The customer and his wife proceed to order. They order a lot of food. The customer has a thick French accent, and I have to ask him to repeat a few things.)

    Customer: “How long is this going to take?”

    Me: “Well, we’re kind of busy; it will take about 15 minutes.”

    (I begin repeating the order back to the customer to verify that it’s right, but he pulls ahead while I’m still speaking. About 15 minutes later, he pulls up to the window. My coworker brings them their food when it is ready.)

    Coworker: “All right, so I have [order] for you.”

    Customer: “No, that’s wrong. We wanted [order].”

    (My coworker is fairly new, so I decide to take over. I send the revised order to the kitchen and ask them to remake it. Five minutes later, the order is done.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Here is your order.”

    Customer: “That’s not all; we want milkshakes, too.”

    (I am very frustrated with this customer, but I keep it under control and ring up the milkshakes. I took five years of French class in high school, so I can understand it fairly well.)

    Customer: *to wife, in French* “This place is terrible.”

    Customer’s Wife: “It’s so slow!”

    Customer: “And that skinny white boy is very rude.

    Customer’s Wife: “Don’t be mean; he’s probably not that smart.”

    (They laugh, and continue making fun of me. I finish making the milkshakes, and walk over to the window with a beaming, ear-to-ear smile.)

    Me: *in French* “Thank you for your business today.”

    (The man makes eye contact with me. His eyes are nearly bulging out of his head, as he realizes I have understood every word he and his wife said. I keep my eyes locked on his, and maintain my ghoulish grin.)

    Me: *in French* “It was a pleasure to serve you today.”

    Customer: *drops milkshakes in wife’s lap and accelerates away*

    Related:
    This Round He Lost (In Translation)

    Weekly Roundup: A Wee Bit Of Ireland!

    | Not Always Right | Holidays, Roundups

    Weekly Roundup: A Wee Bit Of Ireland! This week in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, we feature five Irish- and Ireland-themed stories!

    1. His Translation Is A Sham(rock) (1,745 thumbs up)
    2. In God We Tax (1,153 thumbs up)
    3. Wherever You Go, There US Are (1,324 thumbs up)
    4. Brogue On A Dime (5,288 thumbs up)
    5. The Ire Of The Irish (1,045 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    He’ll Be In The Afterlife After The Birth

    | CA, USA | Health & Body, Holidays, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (It is Halloween. The hospital staff have put up decorations, but they’re minimal. I’m trying to wheel a patient who is in labor, to the room she was assigned, along with her husband.)

    Patient’s Husband: “We should put her in the room with the witch hanging over the door.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. That room’s actually a different size. I’m supposed to take you to room 79.”

    Patient’s Husband: “But that room has a ghost. She wants a witch.”

    Me: “The only room we have with that decoration is half the size of this one, and doesn’t have all the same equipment in it. This is the room you paid for.”

    Patient’s Husband: “It has to be a witch. She’s been real nasty all week.”

    (As she hears her husband say this, the wife is looking less and less pleased. She is a week overdue, and has been in for false labor pains the past two weeks.)

    Me: “That’s interesting, but there aren’t any decorations inside the room anyway. What is inside this room is a much wider space for the doctor and nurses to provide her with better care.”

    Patient’s Husband: “She wants a witch, so put her in the room with the witch.”

    (Finally, the patient has had enough and speaks up.)

    Patient: “Shut up. I want to get this kid out in whatever room the people who know what they’re doing think is best, you dumb troll!”

    Taking Account Of Your Actions

    | VA, USA | Awesome Workers, Holidays, Money, Theme Of The Month

    (I have been recently hospitalized and underwent emergency surgery, and my husband and I lost a lot of work because of it. I’m a little behind on bills but doing what I can. I come to payment arrangements with multiple creditors, including one I have been continuing to receive phone calls from.)

    Caller: “Hi, this is [Caller] from [Credit Card Company] looking for [My Name].”

    Me: “Hi. Yeah, this is she. I think I know why you’re calling.”

    Caller: “Yes, ma’am. I see here that—”

    Me: “You know, I’ve been getting calls from just this company for almost two weeks. We have a payment arrangement. I’ve talked to just about every branch over there.”

    Caller: “Yes, I understand—”

    Me: “And you are still coming after me! I’m giving you what money I’ve got when I can! Don’t you even read the notes on the account before you call? Do you even know anything about this? Or are you just an air-headed vampire that doesn’t give a d*** whose blood you’re sucking out?”

    Caller: “Ma’am, I am sorry to bother you, but I am calling regarding a broken agreement.”

    Me: “Uh… pardon?”

    Caller: “Yes, ma’am. It appears we tried to follow through on your previous payment agreement, but your bank indicates that checking account was closed. Have you changed banks recently?”

    Me: “Um, yeah. I thought I changed everything over, though.”

    Caller: “That’s understandable. There’s a lot to think about when opening new accounts. So I’m just calling to see if you wanted to reset the payment arrangement with your new account.”

    Me: “Yes, absolutely!”

    (After several minutes of setting up the new checking account with the credit card, during which time the caller was amazingly polite, funny, and understanding, we got everything straight. I then asked to speak to her supervisor.)

    Supervisor: “Yes, ma’am! What can I do for you?”

    Me: “I spoke with [Caller] and she was just amazing. I treated her like crap and she remained respectful and courteous. She was very professional and didn’t belittle me. She was awesome. In the end, I’m giving you money, and I’m happy about it. You have some great people over there. So please give her some recognition or something, because I was a b***, and I can’t say that I would’ve treated me as graciously as she did. Thumbs up, sir!”

    Supervisor: “Thanks for the feedback. Have a great day, ma’am!”

    (Suffice to say, that lesson was my Christmas present.)

    The Good, The Bag, And The Lovely

    , | Kings Lynn, Norfolk, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Holidays

    (I spend about 20 minutes dealing with a middle-aged woman and her elderly mother, sorting out a rather complicated order. Despite my reassurances, they are continuously apologising for taking so long to decide.)

    Me: “Okay then, is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Nope, that’s brilliant; thank you! Have a lovely new year!”

    (The customers leave. About an hour later, the young woman returns and heads straight for my register, looking rather flustered.)

    Customer: “Hi again! I was in here about an hour ago if you remember me?”

    Me: “Oh, yes! Did you enjoy your meal?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but did you happen to come across a black leather handbag in your dining area? My mother left hers here!”

    Me: “Yup! I have it safe under my register for you. I found in just after you left!”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you so so much! You’re a life saver!”

    Me: “Not a problem; just doing my job after all. Have a good day!”

    (She walks off and I begin to serve the next customer. I can see her conversing with her mother out of the corner of my eye. She comes over again.)

    Customer: “This is for everything you’ve done for us today, young lady!”

    (She hands me what I thought was a scrap of paper, but is in fact a £20 note.)

    Me: “Thank you ever so much for the gesture, but I cannot accept this!”

    Customer: “No, no, you keep it! That’s for putting up with us today!”

    Me: “I can’t accept this, though! It was a pleasure to serve you, and thank you bu—”

    Customer: “Okay then, call it a New Year present or something! Bye now!”

    Me: “But I ca—”

    (She all but ran out of the store before I could protest further.)

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