Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

Had No Doubt She Was In The Wrong Place

, | TX, USA | Funny Names, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(It is about a week before Christmas and I am opening the clothing store I manage by myself. I run to the food court to grab some breakfast, and when I returned to the store there was a middle-aged woman standing in front of the doors.)

Me: “Good morning!” *I bend down to unlock the doors*

Customer: “Hi! What time do you open?”

Me: “We open at 10:00, and it’s about a quarter ‘til right now. I’m just gonna eat this really quick and open the registers and then I’ll open up the store.”

Customer: *cheerfully* “Oh, okay! Take your time!”

(While I eat and finish up my opening procedures, the customer just paces in front of the windows, looking intently at all of our window displays. I end up opening the doors a few minutes early, and while I’m placing the signs outside the doors she walks in and heads straight to the registers. I figure she’s wanting to purchase a gift card since she’s not looking around the store. I walk back to the registers to assist her.)

Me: “So, what can I help you find today?”

Customer: “I’m just here to pick up the No Doubt vinyl.”

Me: “Um, I’m sorry; I’m not quite sure what you’re looking for.”

Customer: *sighs* “You know, the vinyl!”

Me: *confused* “We have a men’s cologne called Vinyl. Is that what you were looking for?”

Customer: *sighing loudly* “No, not cologne! Vinyl! You know, like a record! The No Doubt record!”

Me: “Yes, ma’am, I know what records are, but we don’t sell them here.”

Customer: *starts glaring at me* “What?! What do you mean you don’t sell it here?”

Me: *gesturing around the store* “We sell clothes, shoes, and accessories, but no music. I’m sorry.”

Customer: “But I spoke to you on the phone not even 30 minutes ago, and you said you’d hold the vinyl for me! Why would you say you’d put something on hold that you don’t even sell?”

Me: I’m very sorry, ma’am, but as you can see, I’m the only one here, and I haven’t spoken to anyone on the phone all morning. I also would never tell someone we would hold a product that we don’t even carry. Are you sure you’re in the right store?”

Customer: “Well, this is Hot Topic isn’t it?!”

Me: *sighing* “No, ma’am, that’s next door. On your left hand side.”

Customer: *suddenly cheerful again* “Oh, why didn’t you just say so?”

(I have no idea how she stood outside my store staring in the windows for 15 minutes and didn’t realize she was in the wrong place!)

Happy Hypocritical Holidays!

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(I’m waiting for a supermarket to open. It’s a public holiday and so the opening hours are a bit different to normal.)

Lady: “Why is it taking so long to open?”

Me: “It’s a public holiday. They open later than normal.”

Lady: “But it’s a Monday! They should be opening at regular time. I’ve been here almost an hour!”

Me: “So you’re going to work today?”

Lady: “Pfft, no, it’s a holiday. No one works on holidays.”

Trying To Encourage Independent Thought

| Paradise Island, The Bahamas | Holidays, Tourists/Travel

(I’m decorating our storefront for Independence Day, which is July 10th. In 1973 we gained independence from Britain, though we are still part of the British Commonwealth. The glass doors are decorated with American colours for July 4th and the whole front of the store is decorated with Bahamian colours for July 10th. An American tourist walks up with her husband.)

Tourist: “Miss! You’ve got the date wrong, and why are you using those colours?”

Me: “Oh, yes, ma’am. Bahamian Independence Day is the 10th. These are the colours of the Bahamian flag. I’ve decorated the front door with red, white, and blue for Americans like yourself!”

Tourist: *looks puzzled for a moment* “But Independence Day is on the 4th…”

Me: “Yes ma’am, in the US it is, but here it’s the 10th.”

Tourist: “But it’s July…”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. A strange coincidence that they are both in July, isn’t it?”

Tourist: *finally looking resolved* “No! This isn’t right; you should have the right date and colours like every other state, even if you’re on an island!”

Me: “But we aren’t a state… We aren’t even part of your countr—”

Tourist: “State, member, province, whatever, that is no excuse to act un-American! Darn islanders…” *she walks off as her husband glares at me over his shoulder*

Number Of The Beastly Coincidences

| Uckfield, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Holidays, Money

(I work in a small corner shop. It is Halloween and we’ve been busy on-and-off with kids making their way around the estate and trick-or-treating, and coming in to buy drinks. I’m approached by a kid I estimate to be in his early teens.)

Me: “Hey, kiddo! Having fun?”

Kid: “Yeah, not a bad haul so far. Just a bit thirsty; nobody hands out drinks!”

Me: “No, I suppose they’re bulkier and more expensive, too.”

Kid: “Yeah you’re probably right and th—” *sees the total on my screen* “Aww £6.67? Come ON! Could you give me a penny discount?”

Me: “Er….

Kid: “Guess my maths isn’t as good as I thought. I wanted it to be £6.66 for Halloween!”

Me: “Well, I’m not authorised to give discount unless the items are damaged but [Similar Drinks] are a penny cheaper so you could swap out one of your [Original Items] if it really bothers you that much?”

Kid: “Yes, please! One sec while I take this back and swap it!”

(By this point there’s a small queue and the boy’s friends, who are waiting outside and clearly can’t hear what he’s doing but see him sprint back to the fridges, yell through the door for him to hurry up.)

Me: “Okay, buddy! That’s now £6.66.”

Kid: “Thanks! Can I get a receipt?”

Me: “Sure, have a good Halloween!”

(As the kid approaches the door he starts waving his receipt at his friends.)

Kid: “Guys! GUYS! LOOK! Weirdest coincidence ever! I just grabbed some random drinks and the total was £6.66. How spooky is that?!”

(The customer behind him turned to me and just raised her eyebrows!)

Demands Are Reaching Breaking Point

| Hartford, CT, USA | Crazy Requests, Holidays

(It is Thanksgiving night and our store has been open for about four hours already. It’s been very busy and we have a much larger than normal team to oversee. A woman has approaches my coworker, asking about a certain item.)

Coworker: “Well, I’m not sure. Let me find someone to ask.”

(He calls on his walkie for that section and gets no response. I happen to be walking by when he stops me and asks if I know.)

Me: “Sorry, I really don’t know at all. Who’s here right now?”

(The guest meanders off a few feet looking at another display. We look at the schedule trying to find who is here and not on break since we all came in around the same time and by law need a 30-minute non-paid break.)

Customer: “I just don’t understand what is taking so long. Why is it so d*** hard to find someone? Why can’t anyone just get this item for me?”

(As this goes on my coworker is trying to get someone to answer on the walkie.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. But we can’t leave the front end because of how busy we are. If you can give me just a moment, please. I need to check the schedule before I can call someone. We’re just trying to find out who is here and not on break right now.”

Customer: “Well, why would they be on break?”

Me: “We all came in around the same time to open the store tonight and we have to stagger our breaks, so I just need a moment to find out who is on the floor right now.”

Customer: “I just don’t understand why the hell anyone would be on break! They’re here to work! Not to take a break! They need to get back to work! This is bad business!”

Me: “Do you take a break at work?”

Customer: *scoffs* “Well, of COURSE I do!”

Me: “Then wouldn’t you think we should get a break, too?”

Customer: “No! Not tonight! This is different! Why is no one able to help me!”

(By some miracle, God smiles down on me and someone from a nearby section answers on the walkie and says to send the guest down.)

Customer: “Finally! This shouldn’t have taken so f****** long! I’ll be calling corporate!”

Me: “You do that. Happy Thanksgiving!”

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