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  • Bigotry Comes In All Shapes And Sizes
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  • April Themed Story Giveaway: Creepy Customers!
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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    The Good, The Bag, And The Lovely

    , | Kings Lynn, Norfolk, England, UK | Awesome Customers, Holidays

    (I spend about 20 minutes dealing with a middle-aged woman and her elderly mother, sorting out a rather complicated order. Despite my reassurances, they are continuously apologising for taking so long to decide.)

    Me: “Okay then, is there anything else I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Nope, that’s brilliant; thank you! Have a lovely new year!”

    (The customers leave. About an hour later, the young woman returns and heads straight for my register, looking rather flustered.)

    Customer: “Hi again! I was in here about an hour ago if you remember me?”

    Me: “Oh, yes! Did you enjoy your meal?”

    Customer: “Yeah, but did you happen to come across a black leather handbag in your dining area? My mother left hers here!”

    Me: “Yup! I have it safe under my register for you. I found in just after you left!”

    Customer: “Oh, thank you so so much! You’re a life saver!”

    Me: “Not a problem; just doing my job after all. Have a good day!”

    (She walks off and I begin to serve the next customer. I can see her conversing with her mother out of the corner of my eye. She comes over again.)

    Customer: “This is for everything you’ve done for us today, young lady!”

    (She hands me what I thought was a scrap of paper, but is in fact a £20 note.)

    Me: “Thank you ever so much for the gesture, but I cannot accept this!”

    Customer: “No, no, you keep it! That’s for putting up with us today!”

    Me: “I can’t accept this, though! It was a pleasure to serve you, and thank you bu—”

    Customer: “Okay then, call it a New Year present or something! Bye now!”

    Me: “But I ca—”

    (She all but ran out of the store before I could protest further.)

    Hats Off To Idiocy

    | Charleston, WV, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Holidays, Top

    (It is New Year’s day/night. I am working the graveyard shift and I have a pair of friends at the store keeping me company. A customer comes in and is casually walking the aisles. My friends and I continue talking, but I keep an eye on him. The customer heads for the door without buying anything, but I notice a hat rack hanging from the ceiling, swinging wildly.)

    Me: “Excuse me, sir?”

    (The customer stops by the door, holding his jacket closed.)

    Customer: “Yeah?”

    Me: “I’m really sorry, and I’m sure I’m mistaken, but would you mind opening your jacket?”

    Customer: “Why do you want me to do that?”

    Me: “Again, I’m sure I’m mistaken, and I do apologize, but I need to make sure you didn’t forget to pay for a hat.”

    Customer: “How dare you accuse me of stealing! I don’t have to do what you say!”

    Me: “Sir, if you don’t I’ll have to—”

    (At this point, the customer darts out the door. I know we’re not supposed to, but I am angry that this guy would steal from me. I hop the counter and start running for the door. The customer sees me and takes off running. I chase him across the parking lot and start across the street after him when my better judgement kicks in. I go back inside, but am surprised to see my friends laughing really hard.)

    Me: “What’s so funny?!”

    One Of My Friends: “Dude! His car is right there! Parked outside!”

    (I call the police, who arrive and check his trunk. The customer had had a busy night, and had stolen from a few other stores. A cop is taking my statement when we see a woman get in the customer’s car and start it up.)

    Cop: *to the woman* “What are you doing?”

    Woman: “…Oh, my husband is drunk and forgot that he had driven the car to the store. I’m just picking it up.”

    (Sensing an opportunity, the cop slyly smiles at me, before continuing to speak to the woman.)

    Cop: “Okay, go ahead…”

    (The woman gets in the car and drives off, unwittingly leading the cop to her home. I testified in court a few weeks later.)

    It’s Going To Be A Bonus Year

    | NJ, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (It’s New Year’s Eve, and I’m a customer in the supermarket waiting in the line for self-checkout. This supermarket has a bonus card, but you have to scan it AFTER you scan all your items. A customer is at the self-check in front of me, buying milk and pretzels. The lines are really long, and the self-check attendant is helping someone else.)

    Customer: “Why doesn’t this work!?” *waves her bonus card all over the scanner*

    Me: “You have to scan your groceries first, hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’, and then it’ll ask for the bonus card.”

    Customer: “It’s not working!” *keeps waving card*

    Me: “That’s because you have to scan your groceries first.”

    (She scans her items, then starts jabbing the ‘Help Needed’ button immediately.)

    Customer: “See, the pretzels are supposed to be only $2, and it’s ringing up $4! This is wrong!”

    Me: “You haven’t scanned your bonus card yet. You need to hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’ first, then scan the card, and it’ll take the money off.”

    Customer: “Do you even know how to use this?!”

    (I lean over, hit ‘Finish’ and ‘Pay’, and then the kiosk says ‘please scan your bonus card’. She does, and the discount applies.)

    Me: “See, $2 for pretzels.”

    Kiosk: “Please take your receipt.”

    Customer: “Now where’s my receipt? Stupid machine!” *stares in the wrong place*

    Me: *points* “Your receipt prints up there.”

    (The customer glares at me, grabs her receipt and storms off to the bagging area, where she stares menacingly at me while she’s bagging her items and putting her change away. To add insult to injury, she puts her purse in the bagging area so I can’t start scanning my items.)

    Customer: *finally leaves without saying thanks*

    Me: “You’re welcome! Happy New Year to you, too!”

    TV Isn’t The Only Thing Un-tuned

    | FL, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Musical Mayhem, Themed Giveaway

    Me: “Welcome to tech support. How can I help?”

    (A very drunk man speaks, very slowly.)

    Man: “They were supposed to come fix it between 1 and 2 today, and never came.”

    (It’s nearly 4 pm, and while we don’t do those kind of time windows, sometimes someone gives incorrect information. So, I ask for his account information, during which I find out that he is having issues with his TV service, which is not with us.)

    Me: “Sir, who is your television service with?”

    Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

    Me: “Do you have a bill from them?”

    Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

    Me: “Well, who did you call for the service repair?”

    Man: “I. Don’t. Know.”

    (He then starts drunken rambling about his TV not working, and no one showing up between 1 and 2 pm. He then says the company name in the middle of the ramble!)

    Me: “Sir, your TV service, is it with [company]?”

    Man: “Yes, they were supposed to come fix my TV today between 1 and 2!”

    Me: “Yes, sir, but you called your phone and internet company, not your cable company.”

    Man: “Oh, can you transfer me to them?”

    Me: “No, you’ll need to call them.”

    Man: “I don’t know their number.”

    Me: “Sir, look in your phone book.”

    Man: “I. Can’t. Find. One.”

    Me: “Then call 411.”

    Man: “That costs money!”

    (We loop around this for a while. I can see he calls us all the time to make us look up phone numbers for him, which the company doesn’t like. Finally it ends with him accepting this.)

    Man: “In case I don’t talk to you again this season… Have a holly, jolly Christmas / It’s the best time of the year…

    (He proceeds to sing, in drunken off key slur, the entire song of ‘have a holly jolly Christmas’. My company doesn’t allow us to disconnect calls, for any reason, so I had to listen to the whole thing!)

    Not Wii-motely Possible

    | CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Holidays, Themed Giveaway

    (It’s New Year’s Day at a popular gaming retail store. A disgruntled customer who appears to be a little caffeinated and twitchy walks up to the cashier, who also happens to be the assistant manager. He slams a Nintendo Wiimote in poor condition on the counter. Not only has it clearly been used, but it’s crusty and looks very unsanitary.)

    Customer: “Listen, I know you guys can’t give cash refunds without the receipt, but you’re going to have to do it. I’m the customer, so I’m right.”

    (The assistant manager remains silent and looks at the Wiimote, obviously hesitant to touch it.)

    Customer: “I used to work for [name of game shop] 10 years ago, so I know how things work! Give me my cash!”

    (My assistant manager looks to the cashier knowingly.)

    Customer: “If you want, I can call the manager and he’ll tell you to do it! Give me my cash now!”

    Assistant Manager: “You’re more than welcome to call the manager, but if you worked for [name of store] 10 years ago, then you should know things may have changed. The manager you used to know probably doesn’t even work for this chain anymore.”

    Customer: “Give me my f***ing cash!”

    Assistant Manager: “You just crossed the line by cussing, sir. There are children present. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m the f***ing customer!”

    Assistant Manager: “Get out!”

    Customer: “F*** you! You guys are f***ing retards!”

    (The customer storms out of the store after grabbing his Wiimote.)

    Me: “Well, that’s one way to start of the New Year!”

    Assistant Manager: “Coming in here and cussing is not a good way to get what you want. I hadn’t even said ‘no’ yet. Although even if I could give him a cash refund for a ‘used’ controller, it was so crusty and disgusting that it looked like he dropped it in the toilet and then used it!”


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