Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Two Thumbs Up
    (1,549 thumbs up)
  • July Theme Of The Month: Animal Madness!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    What She Said Makes You Stop Dead

    | UK | Holidays, Rude & Risque

    (I am helping pack an old lady customer’s gift-wrapping paper into the long bags designed for them.)

    Me: “So, that’s six rolls of wrapping paper for £2. The plastic bags are a bit thin, so I may have to put it in two bags of three.”

    Customer: “No, no, no, that won’t do. Just squeeze it into one; it will be fine.”

    (The wrapping paper rolls are small, so four or five will just fit in one plastic bag. The handles, however, fit so tightly over the paper they cannot be held properly.)

    Me: “Okay, I’ve got five in there but they are rather tight; another one in there may tear it.”

    Customer: *creepy voice* “That’s what she said…”

    (The whole shop is overcome by a stunned silence. My two colleagues next to me have stopped working, now with their jaws on the floor.)

    Customer: “Speaking of which; shove it in there!”

    (I managed to get the last roll in there, with it bent out of shape. She leaves with a laugh almost like a witch’s cackle, with the whole shop in silence.)

    Me: *sigh* “Next customer, please…”

    Momma Raised Him Right

    | Twin Cities, MN, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Holidays

    (It’s the night before Mother’s Day, and around 3 am we get a large shipment of roses. A young customer comes in and sees the huge display, which has over 100 bouquets.)

    Young Customer: “Oh man! You’re killing me with all these flowers!”

    Me: “What?”

    Young Customer: “I just gotta get some!”

    (He grabs a full bouquet of a dozen roses plus a single rose, and then comes up to my register.)

    Young Customer: “My momma always told me that if you give a lady a rose on Mother’s Day, it’ll make her smile the whole day long, don’t even matter if she’s a mother or not. I’m gonna make 13 lucky ladies smile today!”

    Me: “Aww, that’s so sweet!”

    (I finish ringing him up, and he turns to leave. Suddenly, he turns around and hands me the single rose.)

    Young Customer: “You’re lady number 1!”

    (He then runs out the door before I can think of anything to say. I have to admit though, I really did end up smiling all day because of it!)

    This Round He Lost (In Translation), Part 2

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Food & Drink, Holidays, Top

    (There is a sizable line in the drive-thru. A rental car pulls up to order.)

    Me: “Hi, welcome to [restaurant]; how can I serve you today?”

    (The customer and his wife proceed to order. They order a lot of food. The customer has a thick French accent, and I have to ask him to repeat a few things.)

    Customer: “How long is this going to take?”

    Me: “Well, we’re kind of busy; it will take about 15 minutes.”

    (I begin repeating the order back to the customer to verify that it’s right, but he pulls ahead while I’m still speaking. About 15 minutes later, he pulls up to the window. My coworker brings them their food when it is ready.)

    Coworker: “All right, so I have [order] for you.”

    Customer: “No, that’s wrong. We wanted [order].”

    (My coworker is fairly new, so I decide to take over. I send the revised order to the kitchen and ask them to remake it. Five minutes later, the order is done.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Here is your order.”

    Customer: “That’s not all; we want milkshakes, too.”

    (I am very frustrated with this customer, but I keep it under control and ring up the milkshakes. I took five years of French class in high school, so I can understand it fairly well.)

    Customer: *to wife, in French* “This place is terrible.”

    Customer’s Wife: “It’s so slow!”

    Customer: “And that skinny white boy is very rude.

    Customer’s Wife: “Don’t be mean; he’s probably not that smart.”

    (They laugh, and continue making fun of me. I finish making the milkshakes, and walk over to the window with a beaming, ear-to-ear smile.)

    Me: *in French* “Thank you for your business today.”

    (The man makes eye contact with me. His eyes are nearly bulging out of his head, as he realizes I have understood every word he and his wife said. I keep my eyes locked on his, and maintain my ghoulish grin.)

    Me: *in French* “It was a pleasure to serve you today.”

    Customer: *drops milkshakes in wife’s lap and accelerates away*

    Related:
    This Round He Lost (In Translation)

    Weekly Roundup: A Wee Bit Of Ireland!

    | Not Always Right | Holidays, Roundups

    Weekly Roundup: A Wee Bit Of Ireland! This week in celebration of St. Patrick’s Day, we feature five Irish- and Ireland-themed stories!

    1. His Translation Is A Sham(rock) (1,745 thumbs up)
    2. In God We Tax (1,153 thumbs up)
    3. Wherever You Go, There US Are (1,324 thumbs up)
    4. Brogue On A Dime (5,288 thumbs up)
    5. The Ire Of The Irish (1,045 thumbs up)

    PS #1: check out our new Extras section, with pictures, videos, and news!

    PS #2: Read more roundups here!

    He’ll Be In The Afterlife After The Birth

    | CA, USA | Health & Body, Holidays, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (It is Halloween. The hospital staff have put up decorations, but they’re minimal. I’m trying to wheel a patient who is in labor, to the room she was assigned, along with her husband.)

    Patient’s Husband: “We should put her in the room with the witch hanging over the door.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. That room’s actually a different size. I’m supposed to take you to room 79.”

    Patient’s Husband: “But that room has a ghost. She wants a witch.”

    Me: “The only room we have with that decoration is half the size of this one, and doesn’t have all the same equipment in it. This is the room you paid for.”

    Patient’s Husband: “It has to be a witch. She’s been real nasty all week.”

    (As she hears her husband say this, the wife is looking less and less pleased. She is a week overdue, and has been in for false labor pains the past two weeks.)

    Me: “That’s interesting, but there aren’t any decorations inside the room anyway. What is inside this room is a much wider space for the doctor and nurses to provide her with better care.”

    Patient’s Husband: “She wants a witch, so put her in the room with the witch.”

    (Finally, the patient has had enough and speaks up.)

    Patient: “Shut up. I want to get this kid out in whatever room the people who know what they’re doing think is best, you dumb troll!”


    Page 13/27First...1112131415...Last