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    Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    Have A Merry Capitalist Christmas

    | AB, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I work in a small town where 99% of the population is Christian. A customer phones the store to place an order for buns for Christmas.)

    Me: “When would you like to pick up your order, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Are you open Christmas Day?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, we’re closed.”

    Customer: *obviously upset* “Well then, I guess I’ll just have to get them the day before. You’re open until 11, right?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. I’m sorry, but we close at six for Christmas.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous. Don’t you want to make money?”

    Christmas In A Bun-dance

    | AB, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (A customer is in the store on Christmas Eve about 10 minutes before we close. Everything has been pretty picked over by this point.)

    Customer: “Where are all your buns?”

    Me: “I’m sorry but we sold out today.”

    Customer: “But it’s Christmas! Why didn’t you make more buns?”

    Me: “We did, but it’s hard to tell how many buns we will need, especially for the holiday.”

    Customer: “Great, now my Christmas is ruined.”

    A Layaway Payaway

    | USA | Awesome Customers, Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (I worked the service desk of a popular chain toy store that offers layaway last Christmas. One night a lady comes up to speak with my coworker.)

    Coworker: “Welcome to [Toy Store]. How can I help you this evening?”

    Customer: “Hi, I’m sure this sounds unusual, but I was wondering if I could pay off a layaway?”

    Coworker: *not seeing why this is unusual* “Sure, do you have the layaway number or the name it’s under?”

    Customer: “No, I mean a random one, someone who hasn’t paid theirs off yet. I’d like to pay it for them anonymously.”

    (This is within two days of the final pickup day for layaway.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Uh, do you know if this is allowed?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. Let me call the manager and find out how this would work.”

    (I spoke with the manager on duty and he was able to pull up a random account and allowed the woman to pay it off. Later he called the family to let them know their Christmas presents were completely paid for and they could come pick them up. My coworker and I were amazed that this lady would do this for a complete stranger and were in a great mood for the rest of our shift.)

    An Epidemic Of Stupidity

    , | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Holidays

    (I work for a company that sells emergency preparedness gear, including gas masks, chemical suits, and other disaster response equipment. Any time there’s a disaster or terrorist attack, our sales go through the roof by ‘preppers’ and other panicking individuals. Recently, there’s been an Ebola epidemic with the first cases occurring in the United States; thousands of orders have been coming in and those who ordered entire sets of equipment are backlogged at least a month.)

    Customer: “I’m checking on an order. I was charged but haven’t seen any shipping info yet. I placed it 7-10 days ago.”

    Me: “And did you order any gas masks or full sets of equipment?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure. I ordered a suit. For Halloween.”

    Me: *thinking such a small order should have been finished, I pull up his information* “Sir, you didn’t order just a suit, you ordered an entire protective kit… mask, filter, suit, gloves, boots, etc.”

    Customer: “That’s it!”

    Me: “Sir, there’s a minimum one month delay on protective gear right now due to high order volume.”

    Customer: “So, you mean I won’t have it for Halloween?”

    Me: “No, sir. There is a panic epidemic going on and you were one of thousands who’ve been ordering these products.”

    Customer: “Wow. I had no idea. So there’s no way I’m going to get a protective suit by Halloween?”

    Me: “Sir, the entire industry is wiped clean. GLOBALLY. It will take them months to get back up to speed.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, you should really let people know when there’s an epidemic going on, so we know there’ll be delays.”

    Comic: The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

    | New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Comics, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Religion

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