Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,890 thumbs up)
  • Category: Holidays

    Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

    An Epidemic Of Stupidity

    , | MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Holidays

    (I work for a company that sells emergency preparedness gear, including gas masks, chemical suits, and other disaster response equipment. Any time there’s a disaster or terrorist attack, our sales go through the roof by ‘preppers’ and other panicking individuals. Recently, there’s been an Ebola epidemic with the first cases occurring in the United States; thousands of orders have been coming in and those who ordered entire sets of equipment are backlogged at least a month.)

    Customer: “I’m checking on an order. I was charged but haven’t seen any shipping info yet. I placed it 7-10 days ago.”

    Me: “And did you order any gas masks or full sets of equipment?”

    Customer: “I’m not sure. I ordered a suit. For Halloween.”

    Me: *thinking such a small order should have been finished, I pull up his information* “Sir, you didn’t order just a suit, you ordered an entire protective kit… mask, filter, suit, gloves, boots, etc.”

    Customer: “That’s it!”

    Me: “Sir, there’s a minimum one month delay on protective gear right now due to high order volume.”

    Customer: “So, you mean I won’t have it for Halloween?”

    Me: “No, sir. There is a panic epidemic going on and you were one of thousands who’ve been ordering these products.”

    Customer: “Wow. I had no idea. So there’s no way I’m going to get a protective suit by Halloween?”

    Me: “Sir, the entire industry is wiped clean. GLOBALLY. It will take them months to get back up to speed.”

    Customer: “Oh. Well, you should really let people know when there’s an epidemic going on, so we know there’ll be delays.”

    Comic: The Only Thing She Skipped Was Kwanzaa

    | New York, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Comics, Extra Stupid, Holidays, Religion

    Reduced Intelligence, Not Reduced Hours

    | St. Louis, MO, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (The restaurant I work at is open 24 hours and does not close for holidays. It is less than a week before Christmas when the phone rings.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling 24 hour [Restaurant]. [My Name] speaking. We are open all night Christmas Eve and Christmas day. How may I help you?”

    Customer: “Yeah, how late will you be open on Christmas Eve?”

    Me: “We will be open 24 hours during the holidays. We don’t close.”

    Customer: “So, when do you open on Christmas?”

    Me: “We will be open non-stop from now through the foreseeable future unless weather causes the store to lose power.”

    Customer: “So, do you have reduced hours on Christmas?”

    (This exchanged happened to all of us working every shift for the following week at least three times a shift.)

    A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle

    | Detroit, MI, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It’s Christmas Eve. I’m waiting tables with one other waitress for the night at a diner. This waitress is a sweetheart, but has had a terrible year. She was evicted from her apartment shortly after her boyfriend died, leaving her a homeless single mother, crashing on couches, trying to finish her last year of nursing school. A man who comes in regularly asks to be placed at one of her tables. He orders a single cup of coffee, and asks for the check.)

    Customer: “Miss, I have my money to pay.”

    Waitress: “All right. So, that’s $1.10.”

    (The customer takes her hand in his, places a wad of money in it, and closes it.)

    Customer: “Merry Christmas. Keep the change.”

    (He left without saying another word. She opened her hand and burst into uncontrollable tears when she found $500.00 with a note that said ‘For Mama and Baby.’)

    The Application Of Reality

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

    (It is the Saturday before Christmas and the store is extremely busy. Every employee is required to work, and even the store manager is on the sales floor helping customers.)

    Customer: “I need you to help me find this item from your ad.”

    Me: “Certainly. Just let me finish with the customer I am helping now, and then I can help you.”

    Customer: “I can’t wait for you to finish. Isn’t there someone else who can help me?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but it is extremely busy today. I will be with you as soon as I can.”

    Customer: “I want to see your manager. This is unacceptable.”

    Me: *pointing to the register next to me* “She is with a customer right now, but I’m sure she will be happy to speak to you once she has finished.”

    Customer: “I can’t believe this! You need to hire more help!”

    Me: “You are absolutely right, and as soon as I finish with this customer I will be happy to get you an application.”

    Page 1/3112345...Last