November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Holidays

Even during the holidays, customers don’t seem to take a break. With that many extra light-bulbs around you’d think a few extra would appear above their heads?

Common Sense Takes A Holiday

| FL, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Holidays

Me: “Good afternoon, [Bank]; how may I direct your call?”

Elderly Customer: “So today is not a holiday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, we are open.”

Elderly Customer: “Well, I tried to call my doctor’s office and they aren’t answering. Are you sure it’s not a holiday?”

Me:“Yes, ma’am, I am positive that it is not a holiday.”

Elderly Customer: “I was wondering why you would be answering the phone if it was a holiday.”

Me: “Ma’am, I can assure you today is not a holiday.”

Elderly Customer: “Is Monday a holiday?”

Me: “No, ma’am, there are no bank holidays at all this month.”

Elderly Customer: “…”

Me: “Is there anything else I can help you with, ma’am?”

Elderly Customer: “Why won’t my doctor answer the phone?”

Search Your Feelings, You Know It To Be True

| KY, USA | Family & Kids, Geeks Rule, Holidays, Movies & TV

(It is October, 1999. I am in the local fabric store with some friends, getting costuming stuff. We run across a woman buying up materials for making an Anakin Skywalker costume for her nine-year-old son that’s with her. He really, really likes ‘Star Wars: The Phantom Menace;’ it is his favorite movie and he has come to be a huge fan of ‘Star Wars.’)

Boy: “I’ve watched the original trilogy of films every week and that I’ve seen Episode I in theaters a dozen times and can’t wait for it to come out on tape!”

Mom: “I hope my boy grows up to be just like Anakin!” *she then goes on talking about what a great role model Anakin is for young boys and how she encourages her boy to be like Anakin… cue the awkward pause and cringe by me and my friends*

Me: “Uh, do you know that Anakin Skywalker grows up to be Darth Vader?”

Mom: “Don’t be crazy. You’re making that up. There’s no way sweet little Anakin could ever become evil like that. Besides, he doesn’t grow up to be Vader. They have different names after all.”

Me: “These are prequels. They are set decades before the original films, right? Okay, the hero of the original films was Luke Skywalker right? Okay, remember the “No, I am your father.” part that Vader says?”

(That is when it clicked to her. She’d never put it together. She got a look of abject horror on her face when she realized it was true. She grabbed her boy by the hand, dragging him out of the store, saying he was going to be something else for Halloween, and he was not allowed to ever watch Star Wars ever again and she was getting rid of all his Star Wars stuff because it was filled with such bad role models for children.)

A Despicable Lack Of Attention

ON, Canada | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(We are allowed to wear costumes at work on Halloween. I thought this would make it easier to find out which associate helped the customers, since the customers never remember their names.)

Me: “Did anyone help you today?”

Customer: “Yes, but I forget his name.”

Me: “That’s okay. Was he wearing a costume?”

Customer: “No.”

(I put in the name of the only associate not wearing a costume. Note our uniforms consist of black pants and a simple collared red t-shirt. The transaction ends.)

Customer: “Oh! It was him!” *pointing to an associate wearing a Gru costume from Despicable Me… which consists of a grey turtleneck sweater, a striped grey scarf, and a large Minion stuffy*

Giving Haunted Houses A Good Name

| Williamsburg, VA, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I am working weekends at a popular amusement park in one of the haunted houses. My scare is to run out of the shadows and strike a wall while screaming whatever I want, within reason.)

Me: *striking the wall* “YOU’LL BE ONE OF US SOON!”

(The girl at the front of the group screams and I hear a familiar laugh, as I reach my reset position I realize that she is being held back by a kid I’ve known his entire life. So I decide to do a second scare.)

Me: *striking the wall again* “DON’T LAUGH,  [Friend’s Nickname]! I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE!”

(He screamed and bolted through the rest of the maze.)

The Lesser Known Brother

| OH, USA | Holidays, Theme Of The Month

(I work for an upscale, quirky, grocery chain, and they encourage us to dress up for Halloween. I have a full Indiana Jones outfit: fedora, jacket, bullwhip, satchel with a gold idol. A tipsy-to-drunk group of college kids came in to resupply, and one of the frat bros points at me.)

Bro: “It’s F***ing Idaho Jones!”

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