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    Category: History

    Customers who don’t remember history are not only doomed to repeat it, but in some of these stories, to completely rewrite it!

    Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills, Part 2

    | Rosemont, IL, USA | Geography, History, Politics

    (I am Swedish, and visiting friends in the US. I see a bag with some peanut butter and chocolate dipped pretzels.)

    Me: “Really?”

    (I show the bag to my friends.)

    Friend #1: “You don’t have that in Europe?”

    Me: “Nope, and I’m glad we don’t. You Americans are silly.”

    (We laugh a bit together, when suddenly an older man comes up.)

    Old Man: “You f****** communist! You think you can come here and demean us!?”

    Me: “Excuse me? I was ju—”

    Old Man: “Shut up, d*** Russian! Go back to Siberia, and pray to Stalin!”

    Friend #1: “Umm… he’s actually Swedish.”

    Old Man: “Are you a f****** commie too?”

    Friend #2: “None of us are! And frankly, we’ve had quite enough of your bull-s***, so p*** off.”

    Old Man: “Whatever, we still won the cold war!”

    (We just leave. Later on by the cash register, we see the same old man about to pay for his things. When he spots us, he points his finger towards us and shouts.)

    Old Man: “Watch out for the commie b*******!”

    Related:
    Needs To Work On His Socialist Skills

    It’s A Strange World After All

    | Orlando, FL, USA | History, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at Walt Disney World.)

    Me: “Hello, sir, how can I help you?”

    Guest: “Yeah, is Walt Disney going to be in the afternoon parade?”

    (After a short silence, I realize he’s not kidding.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry but… Walt Disney died in 1966.”

    Guest: “What!? Then is his brother in the parade?”

    Me: “No, sir, his brother is dead, too.”

    Guest: “Then one of his sons?”

    Me: “Walt didn’t have any sons, sir.”

    Guest: “Well then, who’s head of the company?”

    Me: “Bob Iger, sir.”

    Guest: “…then why isn’t it called Bob Iger World?”

    Moving Pictures From A Moving Story

    | Washington, DC, USA | History, Spouses & Partners, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I am visiting the Holocaust Museum. I am in a room full of framed pictures and digital displays, with picture slideshows of the war crime trials. There are some teenagers sitting around playing on their phones. An old couple are looking at the slideshows.)

    Old Woman: “How do you get the pictures to stop moving?”

    (She tries touching the screen.)

    Old Man: “Here, let me try.”

    (They both assume it is a touch-screen, and are pressing hard against it.The teenagers see this, and start laughing to each other.)

    Teenager: “Look at these senile old people!”

    (They begin filming the old couple, who are still trying to get the slideshow to stop. A tour guide has heard the noise, and comes over to see what is wrong.)

    Guide: “Can I help you?”

    Old Woman: “Yes, what button do we need to press to get the picture to stop?”

    Guide: “You can’t stop them; it’s a looping slideshow. I think it’s only for two minutes, so you can just wait for it to repeat.”

    Old Woman: “But those pictures change so fast!”

    Guide: “Is there a reason you need to see all these pictures?”

    Old Man: “Yes, I’m looking for the pictures of the bench.”

    Guide: “Oh, well there are several photos just over here from the trials. Here’s one.”

    (He directs them to the opposite wall to several pictures hidden among a few dozen others.)

    Old Woman: “There you are!”

    (She grows very excited, and points to the picture as though she had spotted something she had been looking for.)

    Old Man: “Yep, got my American Flag pin on.”

    (The old man reaches into his coat pocket, and shows the tour guide the pin. The teenagers have shut up by this point, and stopped filming. The tour guide then leads the old couple around the corner to show them more pictures of the trials. I walk up afterwards, and look at the picture. Seated at the bench were the Nazi war criminals that had caused so much death and destruction. Behind them are a line of American soldier guards. While most of the men have no medals or pins on, I spot the one soldier wearing an American flag pin over his heart. Don’t judge a book by its cover. That same man who had difficulty with a foreign device was entrusted to stand watch over some of the worst men of the twentieth century.)

    Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong, Part 2

    | MN, USA | Criminal/Illegal, History, Technology, Theme Of The Month

    (My photo lab has two self-serve machines for customers to order prints of their photos. They either put in electronic media, such as a CD, or camera memory card, or they can scan a print into the computer.)

    Customer: “What do I do first?”

    Me: “Well, we will scan your pictures, and then tell it what you want.”

    (The customer shows me an album of wedding photos that were taken approximately in the 1950s-60s.)

    Me: “Unfortunately, these are still protected by [United States] federal copyright law. For anything less than 75 years old, we need permission from the person hired to take the pictures.”

    Customer: “But how does the machine know they’re copyrighted?”

    Me: “Uh… it doesn’t. That’s my job. We look at each order before printing, to make sure we have proper documentation so we don’t break the law.”

    Customer: “Then how do you know they’re less than 75 years old?!”

    Me: “They didn’t have cars like that in the 1930s!”

    Related:
    Needs To Learn Copy-Right And Wrong

    The History Of Photography Doesn’t Quite Click

    | PA, USA | Family & Kids, History, School

    (I have a paid internship at a small, obscure history museum and battlefield. This site is so unknown that most locals don’t even know what war was fought here. A visitor comes in with her bored-looking teenage daughter.)

    Visitor: “Hi! My daughter’s history teacher gave her an assignment to come to a local historical site, and we thought we’d come here!”

    Me: “Great! It’ll be $5 a piece.”

    Visitor: “So, this is a Civil War battlefield, right?”

    Me: “Actually this battlefield was a part of Pontiac’s Rebellion, a Native American uprising that occurred in 1763, after the French and Indian War. If you follow me, I’ll take you back to our 13-minute video about the battle, and Pontiac’s Rebellion. It’s a great synopsis of the history surrounding the museum.”

    Visitor: “Wonderful!”

    (Our theater area is located at the very back of the exhibit, in an area that has blown-up photos of our annual battle re-enactments. I turn the video on.)

    Me: “I will be happy to answer any questions at the end of the video.”

    (At the end of the video, the visitor starts pointing at the re-enactment photos on the walls.)

    Visitor: “So, these photos are from the actual battle?”

    (The visitor’s daughter starts laughing.)

    Me: “These are actually from our annual battle re-enactment held every summer.”

    Visitor: “Where are the photos from the battle?”

    Me: “Photography would not be invented for about another 80 years or so. Actually the first American war with any photographs was the American Civil War.”

    Visitor: “Oh. When was the Civil War?”

    Me: “1861-1865.”

    Visitor: “When was this [battlefield's] war?”

    Me: “1763.”

    Visitor: “So, what war was this?”

    Me: “The French and Indian War.”

    Visitor: “So, how long was this war before the Civil War?”

    Me: *facepalm*


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