• Gloating About Gluten
    (1,552 thumbs up)
  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: History

    Customers who don’t remember history are not only doomed to repeat it, but in some of these stories, to completely rewrite it!

    Ye Olde Fool

    | Belgium | Health & Body, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am breastfeeding my three-month-old baby quietly in a corner of a medieval festival. I am a participant. In front of me is a display of medieval stuff that I make. A tourist is passing by, and sniffs.)

    Tourist: “Like they did that in the middle ages!”

    Me: “Do you mean the breastfeeding? Of course they did; how else would they feed their baby?”

    Tourist: “If you knew a bit about history, you would know that they hired other women to feed the baby.”

    Me: “It is true that high-born ladies hired nurse maids to feed their baby and look after them, but how do you think these hired women fed the baby?”

    Tourist: “With a bottle of cow’s milk of course! Jeez!”

    The Greatest Deal In American History

    | Delaware County, PA, USA | History

    (A car dealership just outside of Philadelphia is running an oil change special for $17.76. I overhear the following conversation at a convenience store.)

    Customer #1: “[Car dealership] doesn’t make sense. $17.76 for an oil change. Don’t specials always have 99 cents in the end?”

    Customer #2: “I know, it’s confusing! Probably just some number they pulled out of their a**!”

    Clerk: “The Declaration of Independence was signed in 1776. Here. In Philadelphia!”

    Customers #1 & #2: *blank stares*

    Time Lord Of The Ring

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Top

    (We often have contests between stores as to who can sell the most items. This week, it is a specific brand of hat. To promote sales, I am wearing one with Muhammad Ali on it. I am also female.)

    Customer: *scoffs* “Why are you wearing Muhammad Ali?”

    Me: “I like him.”

    Customer: “Oh yeah? What did you think about the fight between him and Cassius Clay?”

    Me: “I was pretty impressed, considering that I wasn’t aware that he could bend space and time to fight himself before be changed his name.”

    Customer: “…whatever.”

    Didn’t Rock Her History Lessons

    | Crowsnest Pass, AB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Geography, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I am currently serving a couple. We are the first restaurant that tourists heading west come to after passing through the largest rock slide in Canadian history.)

    Man: “That rock slide thing was incredible. Do you know anything about it?”

    Me: “Actually, yes I know quite a bit. The mountain fell one morning in 1903; 82 million tonnes of rock fell on the sleeping mining town below and killed almost 90 people. The town remains buried. There is an interpretive center where you can learn more if you would like.”

    Woman: “That’s okay dear; I do have one question though.”

    Me: “Sure, if I know the answer I would be happy to tell you something about the area.”

    Woman: “How did they make the rocks jump and miss the highway?”

    Me: “Um… well they didn’t. The slide happened in 1903. They put the highway in after, ma’am.”

    Woman: “Well I don’t understand; how did they do that?”

    (Thankfully at this point, I have to go and deal with some other customers. I can still hear her asking her husband as they leave, to explain it one more time.)

    Has No Propensity For History

    | Gettysburg, PA, USA | Extra Stupid, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I’m working behind the register counter that has glass display cases of knives, wallets, etc. Some are engraved with CSA—Confederate States of America, and USA—for the Union.)

    Customer: *running up to the counter* “Oooh! Knives! Wait, what does ‘CSA’ mean?”

    Me: “It stands for ‘Confederate States of America.’ Did you want to have a look?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t want to buy. But, the Confederate states are the North, right?!”

    Me: “No, not at all… ”

    Customer: “Oh, oh well. But you know what’s strange? All these battles happened in national parks!”

    Me: “Uh…”

    Customer: “I guess that just made it easier to hide behind the monuments!”

    Me: “I have to get back to work; have a nice day.”

    (I get back to folding and stocking while the customer walks out with the smuggest look on their face, like they just gave me a history lesson.)

    Page 7/15First...56789...Last