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    Category: History

    Customers who don’t remember history are not only doomed to repeat it, but in some of these stories, to completely rewrite it!

    Intelligence Is At An All Time Depression

    | Kansas City, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, History

    (We have a lot of customers who come in looking for something for someone else as a gift; however they often have no clue what they are looking for. Just ‘that thing their friend collects’.)

    Customer: “What is the name of that red glass?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but can you be any more descriptive?”

    Customer: “You know, that red glassware that people collect.”

    Me: “Um, ruby flash?”

    Customer: “No, no, no. It’s old, and collectible!”

    Me: “Is the glass itself dyed red, or is it painted red? Or is it a different base color with red designs?”

    Customer: “It’s red. Or pink.”

    Me: “Cape Code? Currier and Ives? Vaseline? Murano? I…I really need more information before I can help you.”

    Customer: “It’s the name of all the glass! I don’t collect it! My friend does! I want to get her some!”

    Me: *trying one more time* “Depression?”

    Customer: “DEPRESSION! THANK YOU!”

    (The customer walks away without even asking me where it is in the store.)

    Coworker: “Um… depression glass means any cheap translucent glass that was made during the Great Depression. It comes in almost any color you can think of, not just red and pink.”

    Me: “You want to go explain that to her?”

    Coworker: “Nope.”

    E Pluribus Dumbum, Part 2

    | Berkshire, England, UK | Extra Stupid, History

    (Our museum has a big display of Roman materials. I’m sitting in the second room: a room full of mosaics. Next door is the first room: a room full of Roman tools. We have an example of almost every Roman tool I’ve ever seen. A lady and her daughter walk out of the first room, into the second.)

    Daughter: “How did they make all of these things, mummy?”

    Lady: “All of them BY HAND! The Romans had NO tools!”

    Related:
    E Pluribus Dumbum

    Stamping Her Place In History

    | Kill Devil Hills, NC, USA | Bigotry, History, Theme Of The Month

    (A male customer comes into my post office. I am a female, as are all but one clerk here. The customer asks me for a stamp. My partial book is a Rosa Parks stamp; I hand him one. He becomes enraged.)

    Customer: “A woman?! Don’t you have a picture of a cat or a dog, instead? A woman! I don’t even know who this person is! I will not use a woman!”

    (I act calm, but I am furious.)

    Me: “This woman is Ms. Rosa Parks. She worked for the freedom and equality of all people, of every color. She is one of the people who made sure people of every race are welcome here. And she did it all without any acts of violence.”

    (He takes his stamp. He sees my fury, and backs down pretty fast. Surprisingly, he became a very gentlemanly customer after that.)

    Discrimi(nation)

    | Canada | Bigotry, History, Theme Of The Month, Tourists/Travel

    (I work at a museum which features a large permanent exhibit of local First Nations artefacts, living spaces, and other historical paraphernalia. Because of this, we offer free admission to First Nations patrons. I have just finished printing tickets for two First Nations women. The next woman in line is Caucasian.)

    Woman: “Did they just get in for free?”

    Me: “Yes.”

    Woman: “Why?”

    Me: “They’re First Nations. We offer free admission to those with status cards.”

    Woman: “But that’s outrageous! I have to play $15, and they get in free just because they’re lazy natives?”

    Me: “Ma’am—”

    Woman: “It’s not our fault they spend all their money on booze and can’t afford the museum! Why should they get in for free?”

    Me: “Ma’am! This museum features artefacts that were at one time stolen from the local bands. They are now put on display in exhibits of cultural history, of which the museum now makes a profit. You think we should charge the members of the culture it was stolen from to come see it?”

    Woman: “Yes!”

    Food For Thor-t

    | Tampa, FL, USA | Food & Drink, History, School, Top

    (My awesome Viking History professor often has Middle Ages-reenactors who attend his class just to listen to him teach. On one occasion, he and five students decide to go to the ‘Steak and Ale’, a restaurant, in armor and long medieval gowns. The server is quite surprised at how they are dressed, and isn’t quite sure how to deal with them.)

    Server: “Uh… what would you like to eat?”

    (One of the guys in full plate armor takes his armored fist, and slams it down onto the table and shouts.)

    Armored Guy: “MEAT!”

    (The server jumps.)

    Server: *nervously* “H-how do you want it?”

    (The armored guy slams his fist down on the table again, and shouts.)

    Armored Guy: “COOKED!”

    (According to my professor, they somehow avoided getting thrown out of the restaurant!)


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