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    Category: History

    Customers who don’t remember history are not only doomed to repeat it, but in some of these stories, to completely rewrite it!

    History And Cookbooks Are Written By The Victors

    | Calgary, Alberta, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body, History

    (An older lady is looking through the buffet, when she comes to our Japanese section. She eyes the sashimi.)

    Customer: “Oh! Is this smoked salmon?”

    Me: “No ma’am, it’s actually sashimi, the Japanese way of serving fish, so it’s cleaned and served raw.”

    Customer: “Raw? That can’t be healthy! Are you sure you are allowed to serve raw fish? Someone could get sick!”

    Me: “I can assure you, raw salmon won’t get anyone sick. We have served this for years.”

    Customer: “But it’s raw! Someone will get sick! That’s what raw fish does – gets people sick!”

    Me: “Ma’am, the Japanese have been eating raw fish for centuries. I think it will be OK.”

    Customer: “Well, they also lost World War 2. I don’t think this is safe!”

    Me: “…”

    Either She’s A Revisionist Scholar, Or She Needs A Dictionary

    , | Iowa, USA | History

    Me: “Ma’am, may I help you find a particular title?”

    Customer: “I don’t know exactly what I want. I just want a good book to read.”

    Me: “Is there a topic that you are especially interested in?”

    Customer: “I like historical stuff.”

    Me: “Great! What kind of history specifically?”

    Customer: *stares blankly*

    Me: “For instance, a particular time period, or the history of a certain country?”

    Customer: “American history, obviously.”

    Me: “We have some really great American history books, right over here.”

    (I lead her to the proper section and pull a few titles to show her.)

    Customer: “These are all about stuff that really happened. I want a story.”

    Me: “Okay, so, historical fiction then? I’m sure we can find something for you.”

    Customer: “No! I want something like this…”

    (She gestures to a book she rejected, a non fiction title about American history.)

    Customer: “… only I want it to be made up.”

    Me: “Right, historical fiction. Let’s start with a time frame within American history and I’m sure we can find something.”

    Customer: *sighs melodramatically* “I don’t want FICTION, I want a book with a story that is MADE UP!”

    It Was Either That Or Get Shocked By The Kite Again

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | History

    Customer: “I need a biography of Benjamin Franklin.”

    Me: *I take him to the history section* “Here’s his autobiography.”

    Customer: “That means he wrote it himself, right?”

    Me: “Yes, that’s correct.”

    Customer: *eyes widening* “They could do that back then?”

    Who Needs History When You Have Hollywood

    | Myrtle Beach, SC, USA | Bigotry, History

    (A tourist walks up to my register with a handful of trinkets. I ring her up, she pays, I bag the items, and hand her the coin change. As she steps away, I see a dollar still on the counter.)

    Me: “Ma’am, you forgot the rest of your change.”

    Tourist: “Oh! I guess I did, unless you were paying me in pesos.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Tourist: “Pesos. The money in Mexico.”

    Me: “I know what a peso is, ma’am, but I’m not Mexican.”

    Tourist: “Puerto Rican?”

    Me: “Not even close.”

    Tourist: “Cuban?”

    Me: “No.”

    Tourist: “What are you, then?”

    Me: “I’m Native American.”

    Tourist: “So am I.” (She’s white as notebook paper.)

    Me: “No, I mean the people here before white people.”

    Tourist: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “You don’t know about Natives? Indians?”

    Tourist: “Oh, you mean the people John Wayne killed off.”

    Me: “Just take your change.”

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