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    Category: History

    Customers who don’t remember history are not only doomed to repeat it, but in some of these stories, to completely rewrite it!

    (Not One Of) History’s Mysteries

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Books & Reading, Family & Kids, History, Top

    (I am helping a little boy find a children’s book on Native American history for a book report.)

    Me: “I think this one will come in handy. It’s all about the different Native American tribes and traditions. It even includes a large map showing where the Native American tribes lived.”

    Little Boy: “Thank you!”

    (He walks away with his book and an adult customer approaches me.)

    Customer: “Why did you do that?”

    Me: “Do what?”

    Customer: “Tell him those are real.”

    Me: “Native Americans?”

    Customer: “Yes!”

    Me: “Because they are real.”

    Customer: “No! They only exist in movies with cowboys!”

    Me: “I can assure you that Native Americans exist.”

    Customer: *mocking* “I suppose you believe cowboys really existed, too?”

    History (Deep) Pans Out

    | Victoria, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, History, Language & Words

    (A Native Canadian customer comes into the store with five small children.)

    Customer: “Why do the Deluxe and the Hawaiian pizza cost the same? One has more toppings!”

    Me: “To be honest, I’m not really sure. That’s just the way the company works, I guess.”

    Customer: “Well, can I get a discount for the Hawaiian, then? It has five less toppings!”

    Me: “Sorry, ma’am, but I can’t do that.”

    Customer: *long pause* “You’re a cruel person.”

    Me: “Come again?”

    Customer: “Your people come here, give diseases, kill us all, steal our land, put our children in residential schools, and now this!”

    Being The President Sucks

    | Oklahoma City, OK, USA | Books & Reading, History, Politics

    Customer: “Do you have a copy of Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

    Me: “I’m not sure, let me check.” *I check our bestsellers section* “No sir, not at this time.”

    Customer: “But did you look back in the history section?”

    Me: “For Abraham Lincoln: Vampire Hunter?”

    Customer: “Yeah.”

    Me: “No, I did not.”

    War Can Be Taxing

    | Coventry, CT, USA | History

    (I work at a house museum that specializes in Revolutionary War era history (1770s). In the gift shop, I am ringing a woman and her son out.

    Me: “Okay, so you’re buying a quill pen for $2 and some ink for $3. We don’t have tax, so your total will be $5 even.”

    Customer: “No taxes? Is that because taxes hadn’t been invented back then?”

    Me: “Actually, taxes are what we fought the whole Revolutionary War about.”

    Customer: “What war?”

    Pages Of A Post-Apocalyptic Persuasion

    | United Kingdom | History

    Customer: “I want a book to complete the set for my grandson.”

    Me: “Certainly, madam. Can I ask what you’re looking for?”

    Customer: “Well, he’s interested in history. I want to encourage him, so he’s already got books on World War 1 and World War 2. I want to get him the next one so he can be prepared before they do it at school.”

    Me: “Um, the next one?”

    Customer: “Yes. Haven’t you got anything on World War 3? I’ve looked all over.”

    Me: “I’m sorry, madam. I’m pretty certain we don’t have anything on that subject at the moment.”

    Customer: “Oh, never mind then. I’ll try a bigger bookshop.”

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