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    Category: History

    Customers who don’t remember history are not only doomed to repeat it, but in some of these stories, to completely rewrite it!

    (Don’t) Remember The Alamo

    | Colorado, USA | History

    Customer: *walks up to ticket booth* “What is The Alamo about?

    Employee: “The Alamo, ma’am. It’s the mission building the Texans had to protect when the Mexican army invaded during the Battle of the Alamo.”

    Customer: “Oh my gosh! We’re at war with Mexico?!”

    S.H.I.E.L.D. Me From This Stupidity

    | San Diego, CA | History

    (A customer walking out of the theater for “Captain America” with her two kids starts talking to me. She’s about 45 years old.)

    Customer: “My goodness, the Nazis were awful people!”

    Me: “Yeah.”

    Customer: “I’m just glad that terrible Red Skull got what was coming to him.”

    Me: “Yeah, it was a pretty sweet ending.”

    Customer: “It’s funny. I don’t remember learning about him or Captain America in the history books.”

    Me: *thinking she’s joking* “Ha ha, yeah. Weird, right?”

    Customer’s son, to me: “No, dude. She’s not kidding.”

    Customer: “Kidding about what?”

    (Embarrassed, her two kids try to walk briskly away from her.)

    Customer: *chasing after her kids* “Whaaat?! What is it?!”

    Born Yesterday

    | Allentown, PA, USA | History

    (Several teenage patrons are reading the ‘What does your birthday mean?’ keychains.)

    Teenager #1: “Mine’s September 11th. Wasn’t that, like, a bad day in history or something?”

    Me: “How old are you guys?”

    All teens: “Thirteen!”

    (I do quick mental math. I realize they were only six when the twin towers fell.)

    Me: “Yes. It was a very bad day. Members of an extremist group hijacked some planes and–”

    (While reading a keychain from the day the Berlin Wall fell, the second teenager interrupts me.)

    Teenager #2: “Hey! What does ‘co-MUNE-ism’ mean?”

    Spaced Out

    | New Mexico, USA | History, Math & Science

    (I work in the astronomy section of my local natural history museum, which features several large NASA photos. A visitor approaches me and points at a picture of an astronaut doing a spacewalk.)

    Visitor: “What is that astronaut doing?”

    Me: “Oh, he’s doing a spacewalk.”

    Visitor: “You can walk…in space?!”

    Me: “Well, no. They just sort of float there while tethered to the spacecraft. They only do it when they need to exit the shuttle to do repairs.”

    Visitor: “Oh…” *points at a photo of Apollo 11 launching* “What’s that?”

    Me: “That’s Apollo 11 launching to put the first humans on the moon.”

    Visitor: “Oh…why didn’t they just build a big ladder?”

    Little Nuggets Of Interest

    | Dublin, Ireland | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, History

    (I am providing a tour through Ireland and explaining its history.)

    Me: “…and then the Danish Vikings and the Norse Vikings got together, and created the most fantastic thing in the world. Does anyone know what that is?”

    Young passenger: “Chicken nuggets!”

    Me: “I was going to say red hair, but that answer just blows mine out of the water!”


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