Category: History

Customers who don’t remember history are not only doomed to repeat it, but in some of these stories, to completely rewrite it!

He’ll Be Führer-ious

| MI, USA | Funny Names, History

(I’ve recently started my first job as a cashier at a small town’s grocery store. A large, seemingly drunk man has approached my register at night.)

Customer: “Hey! Where’s Hitler?”

Me: “Uhm… what?”

Customer: “You heard me! Where is Hitler?”

Me: *thinking this is a joke of some sort* “He’s, well, dead.”

Customer: “What? No! Not that Hitler! I mean your boss!”

A Minefield Of Stupidity

, | Pákozd, Hungary | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, History

(There is an exhibit on the conscription in the memorial park, and in that unit we also have a part attributed to the demolition experts, with panels about mine clearing, explosives, and projectiles. Since Hungary was a war zone under both World Wars, and the neighbouring countries also have/had local wars, there are plenty of these mines, projectiles, and bombs scattered around, still dangerous; most of the time, they are found in public places, even at schoolyards and nurseries, fields, rivers, etc. Because of this, we are obligated to give a small but thorough speech about the most common dangers. Be advised that generally people receive similar warnings at school, preschool, and even in the media. As it seems, it is not effective:)

Me: *finishing my spiel about what to do* “…so, if you find any of these, you just leave it in peace, and call an adult.”

Mother: *cupping her daughter’s ears, so she cannot hear me* “Don’t worry, honey, this isn’t true anymore…”

Me: *speechless*

Father: “Oh, I think I have one or two of these at home!” *points at one of the smaller bombs* “But they are intact… I mean, they are whole, not distorted like these…”

Me: *hoping he bought a replica* “Oh? Where did you get them?”

Father: “Well, I was ploughing, and they just sort of came out of the ground.”

Me: *alarmed* “And where did you put them?”

Father: “In the garage, I think…”

Seven-Year-Old Son: “Yes, they are there. I usually play with them!”

Me: *agitated* “Please, sir, as soon as you get home, don’t enter the garage and call the police!”

Father: “Why?”

Make You Fall Off Your Chair

| FL, USA | Bizarre, History, Money

(I am at a gas station and the customer in front of me is paying. He notices he has an Alabama state quarter.)

Customer: “Is that an electric chair on there? Was Alabama the first state to use the electric chair?”

Cashier: “No, sir, that’s Helen Keller.”

Customer: “Why the h*** did they put Helen Keller in an electric chair?!”

Martin Luther King Of Hollywood

| New Zealand | History, Movies & TV

(We have just begun screening before our movies the trailer to Selma, a movie based on the voting rights marches from Selma to Montgomery in 1965. Most people associate it as a Martin Luther King Junior movie. A young woman approaches me at the ticket counter inquiring about the movie.)

Woman: “Excuse, but I just watched this trailer before on my movie… I wondered if you could tell me more about it? It looks interesting.”

Me: “Sure! Which trailer was it?”

Woman: “I think it was a woman’s name… There were a lot of black guys and they were marching with a king?”

Me: “Oh… I think you must be talking about Selma. It’s based on the marches for voting rights back in the 60’s. One of the leading influences was Martin Luther King Jr.”

Woman: “Martin Luther King? I’ve never heard of him… What else does he star in?”

Me: “Um, he wasn’t an actor in the movie. He was involved in African-American rights movements before his assassination?”

Woman: *looking blank*

Me: “I have a dream?”

Woman: “Oh! That guy!”

Bring You Bach To The Future

, | MN, USA | History, Musical Mayhem, Theme Of The Month

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

Caller: *has a strange, whistly and whiny voice* ” Hi, I’d like some organ music by Bach, played by Bach.”

Me: “Well, we have a lot of recordings of Bach’s organ music but we don’t have any of him performing it.”

Caller: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Recording technology hadn’t been invented when Bach was alive.                 ”

Caller: “Well, why not?”

Me: “Well, in the late 1800’s, Thomas Edison invented—”

Caller: “[My Name], it’s [Coworker].”

(One of my coworkers had played the perfect music nerd prank on me!)

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