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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: History

    Customers who don’t remember history are not only doomed to repeat it, but in some of these stories, to completely rewrite it!

    From Flappers To Flares

    | USA | Crazy Requests, History

    Customer: “Hi, I need a dress for a show I’m singing in.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem. What time period are you looking for?”

    Customer: “Just a dress from ‘back then.'”

    Me: “When exactly?”

    Customer: “Like, between the ’20s and the ’60s.”

    A Titanic Lie

    | Albuquerque, NM, USA | History, Movies & TV, Tourists/Travel

    (In 2012, I am working at the end of the Titanic exhibit next to the wall of names of those who lost their lives. Next to the wall, is a sign saying that Jack and Rose from the movie are fictional characters, and were not actually present on the ship.)

    Patron #1: “Did you know that Jack and Rose were real live people?”

    Patron #2: “Oh, wow! I didn’t know they actually existed!”

    Patron #1: “Oh, yeah! But the only reason they’re not on any lists is because Jack won his ticket and Rose changed her name!”

    Me: “Ladies, if you’ll notice the sign next to the wall of the lost, you’ll see that they were actually fictional characters that never existed.”

    Patron #1: “What? You lie! THEIR LOVE WAS REAL AND SO WERE THEY!” *storms out of the exhibit*

    He’ll Be Führer-ious

    | MI, USA | Funny Names, History

    (I’ve recently started my first job as a cashier at a small town’s grocery store. A large, seemingly drunk man has approached my register at night.)

    Customer: “Hey! Where’s Hitler?”

    Me: “Uhm… what?”

    Customer: “You heard me! Where is Hitler?”

    Me: *thinking this is a joke of some sort* “He’s, well, dead.”

    Customer: “What? No! Not that Hitler! I mean your boss!”

    A Minefield Of Stupidity

    , | Pákozd, Hungary | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, History

    (There is an exhibit on the conscription in the memorial park, and in that unit we also have a part attributed to the demolition experts, with panels about mine clearing, explosives, and projectiles. Since Hungary was a war zone under both World Wars, and the neighbouring countries also have/had local wars, there are plenty of these mines, projectiles, and bombs scattered around, still dangerous; most of the time, they are found in public places, even at schoolyards and nurseries, fields, rivers, etc. Because of this, we are obligated to give a small but thorough speech about the most common dangers. Be advised that generally people receive similar warnings at school, preschool, and even in the media. As it seems, it is not effective:)

    Me: *finishing my spiel about what to do* “…so, if you find any of these, you just leave it in peace, and call an adult.”

    Mother: *cupping her daughter’s ears, so she cannot hear me* “Don’t worry, honey, this isn’t true anymore…”

    Me: *speechless*

    Father: “Oh, I think I have one or two of these at home!” *points at one of the smaller bombs* “But they are intact… I mean, they are whole, not distorted like these…”

    Me: *hoping he bought a replica* “Oh? Where did you get them?”

    Father: “Well, I was ploughing, and they just sort of came out of the ground.”

    Me: *alarmed* “And where did you put them?”

    Father: “In the garage, I think…”

    Seven-Year-Old Son: “Yes, they are there. I usually play with them!”

    Me: *agitated* “Please, sir, as soon as you get home, don’t enter the garage and call the police!”

    Father: “Why?”

    Make You Fall Off Your Chair

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, History, Money

    (I am at a gas station and the customer in front of me is paying. He notices he has an Alabama state quarter.)

    Customer: “Is that an electric chair on there? Was Alabama the first state to use the electric chair?”

    Cashier: “No, sir, that’s Helen Keller.”

    Customer: “Why the h*** did they put Helen Keller in an electric chair?!”

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