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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    ADD: Acronym Defiling Dad

    | Vermont, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    Customer:“Hey I was wondering if you sold some of that ‘Ahhhdorol’ or ‘Ridalaain’?”

    Me: “No those are prescription drugs. All we sell here is Advil and caffeine pills.”

    Customer: “D*** it! My son has ADHD. You know…Attention Defiant Hyper Disorder?”

    Retired & Extremely Dangerous

    | Georgia, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    Me: “Thank you for call [Pharmacy], may I help you?”

    Elderly Female Customer: “I would like to get these two of my medications refilled and I want to pick them up tomorrow afternoon.”

    Me: “Okay ma’am, that will be fine. Is there anything else I can do for you?”

    Elderly Female Customer: “Honey, you can come to my house and do me anytime.”

    Me: “I, uh, oh, uh…”

    Elderly Female Customer: “I hope I didn’t offend you, but I’m old so I can say things like that!”

    One More Of These And I’ll Squit

    | Alberta, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: “I’ll have the chicken salad.”

    Me: “Alright.”

    Customer: “Is there MSG in it?”

    Me: “There might be some in the dressing, I can check for you. Are you allergic?

    Customer: “No, it just gives me diarrhea.”

    Me: “Uh…ok?”

    Customer’s friend: “That’s too much information!”

    Customer: “No she needs to know. You need to know right?”

    *pause*

    Me: *nervous laughter* “Oh, absolutely.”

    Pray She Doesn’t Use Hemorrhoid Cream

    | Orland Park, IL, USA | Health & Body

    Customer: “You changed the formulation of [day cream]. You should really tell customers when you do that!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, we were not made aware of that change. How did you find out?”

    Customer: “Well it tastes different.”

    Me: “Tastes different? You tasted the product?”

    Customer: “Of course! I taste everything I put on my body!”

    Feeling Pooped

    | Milwaukee, WI, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (A couple approaches the counter.)

    Me: “Can I help?”

    Customer: “Yes, can you give me advice about his stool?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t give medical advice. Perhaps you’d like to speak to our pharmacist, or consult your doctor?”

    Customer: “No, I’m sure they’re very busy. I just want someone to tell me if it’s normal.”

    Me: “The law says I can’t give advice. Let me get the pharmacist.”

    Customer: “No, really, I have some here.” *whips out a clear bag of poo on the counter* “See, it’s all gritty. That’s not normal, is it? Do you have pills for that?”

    Me: “Ma’am, you might want to take that to your doctor. We can’t accept biological waste.”

    Customer: *to her husband* “See, Joe, I told you it was wrong. That’s why I save them.”

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