Featured Story:
  • A Caffeinated Christmas Miracle
    (2,970 thumbs up)
  • Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Attack Of The Heart(less)

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Health & Body, Top

    (A customer has just had a heart attack, and our staff is giving her CPR. Another customer approaches.)

    Customer: “Excuse me, but could you move? I need the ink behind you guys.”

    Me: “Sir, this lady is suffering a medical illness. I’m sorry for your inconvenience, but you will have to wait.”

    Customer: “How dare you treat your customers like this?! I’ll never shop here again!”

    Manager: *fed up* “[Competitor] is across the parking lot. Have a nice day.”

    They’re Right Next To The Abacus Tablets

    | North Carolina, USA | Health & Body

    (I’m working behind the counter one morning when an older customer and her son approach.)

    Customer: “I’ve been really itchy lately. I need something for the itch. My son used algebra tablets last time.”

    Me: “Well you could use an allergy tablet, but you can’t if you have high blood pressure.”

    Customer: “I have high blood pressure but this itching is terrible. Can you show me the algebra tablets?”

    Me: “I can’t recommend the allergy tablets, then. It could interact with your medicine.”

    Customer: “I know, but my son had algebra tablets last time and they helped with the itching.”

    Me: “Yes, the allergy tablets would interact though. So I can’t recommend those.”

    Customer: “Which of these algebra tablets would you recommend?”

    Me: *gives up* “The pink box.”

    Annoying Pneumonia

    | Maryland, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am a nurse sitting with a mother whose son passed out during school. I am asking her some questions while he is examined.)

    Me: “Has he complained of any discomfort or anything strange such as headaches, dizziness, nausea, fatigue, chest pains, muscle aches, difficulty breathing?”

    Mother: “Well, he was complaining that his chest hurt. He’s also been breathing heavily lately and coughing a lot.”

    Me: “When did this start?”

    Mother: “Oh, I don’t know…five or six days ago?”

    Me: “Your son has been complaining of chest pains and difficulty breathing for almost a week? Why didn’t you take him to the doctor?”

    Mother: “I thought he was just trying to get attention. You know kids–they always want attention!”

    That’ll Be An Arm And A Never Mind

    | Adelaide, SA, Australia | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (A customer is complaining that we have cancelled her membership with us, even though she hasn’t paid for it for 6 months.)

    Customer: “This is getting ridiculous. I am going to take this to [local news station]. I’m disabled, and you’re discriminating against me because I am disabled.”

    Me: “I am not discriminating against you. The same rule applies to all members who fail to pay for their membership. Unfortunately, it has been cancelled and the only way to become a member again is to rejoin.”

    Customer: “If you don’t fix this for me, I’m going to come down there to your head office, take off my prosthetic leg, and beat you with it! Good bye!”

    A Tanner Darkly

    | Vancouver Island, BC, Canada | Health & Body

    (An elderly man comes to my till. He is obviously tanning a lot, which is something I don’t do because I’m East Indian.)

    Me: “Hi! How are you?”

    Customer: “Great, thanks.”

    Me: “That’s good, and you found everything okay?”

    Customer: “Yes, I found everything okay!”

    Me: *giggles* “Wow, sir, if you don’t mind my saying…you’re even darker than I am!”

    Customer: *chuckles* “Well, I try to tan every moment I get!”

    Me: “Ha! Well, whenever I go in the sun, I always wear 60 SPF.”

    Customer: “I never wear that sunscreen garbage. Never have, and never will. It causes cancer, you know? Too much of that sunscreen stuff!”

    Me: “Okay…well, have a good day. Enjoy the sunshine!”

    Customer: “I will! You do the same, darlin’. You’re lookin’ a little pale!”

    Page 94/107First...9293949596...Last