Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • Motherly Advice To Mother
    (1,521 thumbs up)
  • September Theme Of The Month: Return Of The Geeks!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Left At The Hereafter

    | Norway | Health & Body

    (I have to talk to many different dentists through the day. The old ones speak in a very old-fashioned Norwegian.)

    Me: "[Company name] this is [my name]. How may I help you?"

    Client: "Yes, you see, my customer just left, and I forgot to take a copy of his bill. Could you send me a new one?"

    Me: "Sure miss, but I can see you live quite the distance from here, may I suggest calling the customer to get it back, or get the numbers? I am quite sure it’ll be easier for you."

    Client: "But you don’t understand! He just left!"

    Me: "I understand miss. I still believe it would be easier for you if you just called the customer though."

    Client: "What part of ‘he just left’ is so hard to understand? He left!”

    Me: "I see, I’m sorry if I bothered you with my opinions. I’m printing out a copy of the bill right as we speak, and it’ll be out by tomorrow at noon."

    Client: "Good. That’s alright then.” *mumbles to herself* “…asking me to call his widow for the bill. Outrageous."

    Me: "Widower? Excuse me miss, but is your customer dead?"

    Client: "Oh, so now you get it, huh? I told you he left!"

    Enough To Make You Quai

    | Florida, USA | Health & Body, Language & Words

    (I am trying to help a customer with a product while she is talking on the phone to her friend. Every time she asks me a question, she would go back to talking to her friend while I gave her the answer so I would have to repeat myself.)

    Customer: “Do you have something that will help me with my period?”

    Me: “Dong Quai.”

    Customer: “I’m not crying!”

    Me: “No, the product is called Dong Quai.”

    Customer: “Oh.”

    Rectify The Situation

    | UK | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    Customer: “Hi there, do you sell rectums?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, what?”

    Customer: “Rectums. I need a rectum. do you sell them?”

    Me: “Why do you need it?”

    Customer: “I have some tablets here and it says ‘insert via rectum’ and as I don’t have one, I thought I better buy one.”

    Me: “I think I better call the pharmacist in.”

    (I call the pharmacist in who explains to the man exactly what a rectum is. He leaves red faced.)

    Related:
    Where The Sun Don’t Shine, Bungholio!

    Will Have To Weight A While

    | Massachusetts, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (A frequent customer comes in and tells me about her new job at a new gym.)

    Customer: “Anyway, I was hoping you could put these fliers out on the registers to hand out to your customers?”

    Me: “Sorry, but corporate doesn’t allow us to put out fliers for businesses that aren’t related to pet care.”

    Customer: “Oh, I understand. Maybe you could keep them in the drawer and just hand them out to the fat customers?”

    Never Send A Man…Period

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (A male customer is in the feminine hygiene aisle and has requested to speak to a female employee.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you with something?”

    Customer: *obviously embarrassed* “I need some ‘female products’.”

    Me: “Okay, you’re in the right place. This is all our selection.”

    Customer: “Really?” *points to the pads* “I don’t think these will work. They all look so small.”

    Me: “Well, most women prefer that. But if you want something different, the tampons are right here as well.”

    Customer: “Oh, gross. No, I would rather these but bigger, so they’ll work.”

    Me: “This is really all we have.”

    Customer: “Hmm, what about some diapers or something like that? Do you have those?”

    Me: “What? Do you mean baby diapers? Sir, I really don’t think that’s what you want.”

    Customer: “You’re right, they probably cost twice as much anyways. I think I’m going to tell my wife to come in after work and figure this out herself.”

    Me: “I think that’s a very good idea, sir.”

    Page 93/97First...9192939495...Last