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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Urine Big Trouble Now

    | Maine, USA | Health & Body

    (A regular customer approaches me holding up a small blue plastic square.)

    Customer: “Do you have these?”

    Me: “Oh, is that one of the puppy pads?”

    Customer: “No, it’s for my wife.”

    (He then proceeds to unfold it. It is one of the large medical pads that go on beds under people suffering from incontinence, which happens to look like a large version of a puppy pad.)

    Me: “Oh, yes, sorry, they’re right this way.”

    (The customer follows me. When I hand him the product, he claims that is not it and holds the pad closer to me and shows me the other side. An awful smell emits from it. The cotton inside is crumbling from all the human urine it is holding.)

    Customer: “NO! I want one of these! You don’t know what you’re talking about.”

    (I stand in shock as he slaps his hand against the urine. He then walks off and I go to inform the manager so they can have the customer remove the item from the store. The worst part? The customer wanders into produce and starts picking through the grapes with his urine-covered hands. We had to compost out the whole grape bin!)

    In The Patient Out Hole

    | Nottingham, England, UK | Health & Body

    Me: “Are you likely to receive any in-patient treatment in the next 3 months?”

    Caller: “No, I’m booked in for a colonoscopy, but that’ll just be an in and out!”

    (I had to put the customer on hold for a few moments whilst I composed myself!)

    Lukewarm Science

    | Indiana, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A customer orders a large mocha, but only lukewarm. After receiving it, she takes a sip, grimaces, and sighs.)

    Customer: “I really miss hot coffee.”

    Me: “I can heat it up more if you like.”

    Customer: “Oh, no, it has to be lukewarm. I’m trying to lose weight. I read that calories are a unit of heat!”

    Try Our New De Caf Bonne Nuit Blend

    | UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: *angrily* “Get your manager. I have a complaint!”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Just a moment, please.”

    (I get the manager.)

    Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: *still angry* “Yesterday evening, I ordered six cups of coffee to go because I had work to do, but I fell asleep after an hour! My work is ruined! I’m going to sue your a**!”

    Manager: “What flavor did you order?”

    Customer: *thinks for a moment* “A french flavor…de Caf!”

    Urine A Lot Of Trouble Now

    | Gulfport, MS, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (A man walks to the counter and sets his item down. I grab the box without looking and scan it.)

    Me: “How you doin’?”

    Customer: “You tell me!”

    (I look down at the box I’m holding. It reads “Urinary Pain Relief”.)

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