November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Labelled As A Liar

| USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a popular smoothie shop. We normally don’t have a lot of problems with customers who have food allergies, but today a woman and her son come in who seem to be difficult to please.)

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Smoothie Shop]. How are you doing today?”

Customer: “Fine.”

Me: “What can I get for you today?”

(In an all of a sudden rude tone:)

Customer: “MY KID IS PB FREE!” *yes, she says ‘PB’ instead of peanut butter*

Me: “No problem. I will be happy to clean all our appliances and use our peanut butter free blender.”

Customer: “Ok, fine. I’ll have [Popular Drink].”

Me: “Perfect. Your total is $4.99.”

(She hands me cash and I proceed to make her drink. I grab a blender from the back that is never exposed to any of our other products. As I’m making her drink she yells.)

Customer: “THAT’S NOT PB FREE!”

(I try to assure her it is.)

Me: “Yes, ma’am, it is. Although it isn’t labelled it is a peanut butter free blender.”


(She causes a horrible commotion, and continues to yell at me, telling me that I’m incompetent. So I run to the back, get our label maker that we make name tags with, and label the same exact blender PB Free. I come back, show her the blender, and proceed to make her drink.)

Customer: “Finally! You understand my son’s needs.”

(I give her the drink and tell her to have a nice day.)

Son: “Mom, but I’m not even allergic to—”

Customer: “SHUT UP!”

This Joke Has Been Used

| Tilehurst, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I overhear the following conversation in the pharmacy:)

Customer: “I’d, um, like some, er, suppositories, please. Sorry, but I’m not really sure which ones. They’re for my wife, who called out for me to get some when I was half-way out the door on an errand to do something else.”

Pharmacist: “Certainly, sir, let’s go and look for some. Here: would they be these?” *offering him a particular brand*

Customer: “Pff. Not sure. Could be; I know she suffers from the H word, but on the other hand…”

Pharmacist: “You can bring them back for a refund and replace them with the other kind.”

Customer: “What, even if…” *at this point he cracks up laughing* “Even if…” *and he’s laughing so hard he can’t say what he’s trying to say*

Pharmacist: *knowing exactly what he’s trying to say; it’s an old joke, but so funny she can’t help laughing herself* “…even if they’ve been used?”

(Both customer and pharmacist laughed like grade school children.)

Not That Kind Of Store

| Sweden | At The Checkout, Funny Names, Health & Body

(I’m a female pharmacist finishing up business with a male customer:)

Customer: “Oh, I’d also like a woman; can you please get me one?”

Me: “I’m sorry, what do you mean?”

Customer: “I want a woman, the cheap kind!”

(He looks at me dead serious.)

Me: “I’m not quite sure I understand…”

Customer: *slower* “I want a woman! But it has to be the cheap kind.”

(I keep looking at him in complete disbelief.)

Customer: *sighs* “How hard can it be? My wife asked me to get her one box of woman or whatever they are called. Where do you keep it? I can get it myself if you tell me where I can find it.”

Me: “Oh… you must mean the multi-vitamin. Wait, I’ll get it for you.”

Customer: *yells after me* “It has to be the cheap kind!”

(We have two kinds of multi-vitamin pill intended for women and both are labeled WOMAN. Apparently that was what he wanted.)

Can’t Let Your Hair Down With Some Customers

| OH, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I grow out my hair for cancer and everyone I know from work has only ever seen me with long hair as I was still growing it. I finally got it cut again and was working down at lumber where we get a lot of contractors that come in often and who I have gotten to know really well.)

Contractor #1: “Oh! [My Name], what did you do with your beautiful long red hair! It is so short now!”

Me: “I cut it for Locks of Love. I have been doing it for years, though I never cut it this short before. I like it; it takes so much less time to take care of.” *laughing* “But don’t worry, it will grow back out soon.”

Contractor #1: *very serious look on his face* “I certainly hope so! How will you ever get a guy when you look like a [offensive term for lesbian]? You ruined yourself. You just look so bad with short hair. No guy will try to date you now!”

Me: *I am completely taken aback and speechless as he grabs his stuff and leaves*

(Behind him is another contractor I know very well.)

Contractor #2: “I don’t know much about hair, but I for one think you look great with short hair and I think you did a wonderful thing donating it a child with cancer. Promise you won’t let some jack-a** make you feel bad about what a fantastic thing you did for someone in need!”

Me: “I promise and thank you.”

(We fist bumped and I had to keep thanking him as he left the store.)

Makes You Freeze In Place

| Phoenix, AZ, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I work in a fairly large grocery store. Arizona heat can be brutal. As I am walking around the store, I see a shopping cart full of ice cream, but since it’s so hot, I don’t think much of it. As I am walking down the aisle, I look and see a man INSIDE the freezer.)

Me: “Sir! Please come out of the freezer!”

Customer: “No!”

Me: “Sir, you could suffocate in there!”

Customer: *in a whiny voice* “But it’s hot outside!”