Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Not A Regular Response

| TX, USA | Health & Body, Movies & TV

(I’m at the ticket booth ordering my ticket for the movie. I happen to be 57 years old.)

Me: “One for [Movie], please.”

Ticketer: “Senior or regular?”

Me: “Uh, ummm… uh… regular.”

Ticketer: “Seven dollars, please.”

Me: “You know, when you ask a senior if he’s regular that has a different meaning. I may be a senior but I’m regular.”

Ticketer: *smiles*

Going Too H2-Slow

| MD, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I work at a gym that’s rather expensive, so all of the clients are rather well off. I’m a lifeguard year round, since they have both an indoor and an outdoor pool.)

Woman: “Hi. The indoor pool is too cold. My child is absolutely freezing.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. We can provide your child with warm towels directly from the dryer if he needs to be warmed up quickly.”

Woman: “No, I just need you to heat up the pool. ”

Me: “The pool is heated, ma’am, but unfortunately, we can’t directly control the temperature of the pool.”

Woman: *getting angry* “What do you mean you can’t control it?! Just pour a bunch of hot water in it!”

Me: “Ma’am, there are almost half a million gallons of water in this pool. We couldn’t possibly get enough water to meet your demands.”

Woman: “Well, you’re not doing your job, then. I’ll be speaking to your manager!” *storms off in a fit of pretentious rage*

Smooth Out The Allergy Situation

| KS, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Me: “Hiya! What can I do for you?”

Customer: “Yeah, I’d like to exchange this peanut butter.”

(She hands me the peanut butter and the receipt.)

Me: “Oh, okay. Any reason? Is it bad?”

Customer: “Oh, no, it’s not bad. It’s just that it’s the chunky kind, and I need creamy.”

Me: “Oh! Well, if you want to go grab the one you want, I’ll get you fixed up and on your way!”

(She goes and gets the creamy peanut butter and comes back. I check the prices and hand her the right one.)

Me: “All righty, you’re all set! Have a good day!”

Customer: “Thank you!” *laughs* “I can’t believe I picked this up. I can’t have the one with the chunks in it. I’m allergic to peanuts!”

(She walked off and my manager and I exchanged very confused glances.)

Needs A Prescription Of Common Sense

| PA, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I work in the mail order branch of a popular pharmacy chain. On my way to work I stop by a local retail branch of the pharmacy to pick up a prescription. I happen to be wearing a company t-shirt which, while having the variant of the company name used by the mail order branch, is nothing at all like the uniforms worn by retail employees nor is it at all professional-looking. A woman comes up next to me while I’m waiting at the pharmacy counter.)

Customer: “Excuse me, where are allergy medicines?”

Me: *looking around* “Over there, I think.”

Customer: “What, don’t you know where things are in your own store?”

Me: “Oh, I don’t work here. I actually work at [Mail Order Branch] on [Road].”

Customer: “Oh, ok. So, which kind is safest for my son to use?”

Me: “Sorry?”

Customer: “Which allergy medicine is safest for my son? He’s ten.”

Me: “You would really have to ask a pharmacist.”

Customer: “But you said you work for [Company].”

Me: “I just package orders. I’m not a pharmacist.”

Customer: “So why are you at the pharmacy counter?”

Me: “I’m picking up a prescription…”

Customer: “So you can stand here but you can’t help a customer?”

(The pharmacy tech tells me my prescription is ready. I get it and pay, all while the woman stares at me. As I walk away the tech notices the woman standing behind me.)

Pharmacy Tech: “Can I help you?”

Customer: “I don’t know. Apparently no one else around here can!”

An Eye-Catching Lesson

| USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I was born with congenital glaucoma, a condition that causes blindness if left untreated. As such, I went through several surgeries as a child and have mostly corrected vision with glasses, although one eye is still a little damaged. Because of these surgeries, my eyes are extremely unique-looking and sometimes startle people – some of them do make comments, but they’re mostly harmless and more curious than anything else. I’ve lived with this disease all my life, so I’m very open and frequently joke about it, but I still get very sensitive when people try to put me on the spot or harass me about it. On this particular day, a customer comes up and places a box of shoes on my register.)

Me: “Good morning, sir. How are you today?”

Customer: “Just fine. And yourself?”

Me: “Doing great.”

(It’s company policy to check shoe sizes and styles to make sure the customer leaves with a matching pair. Because of my condition, I’m extremely near-sighted without my glasses, which is perfect for reading the small tags on shoes.)

Me: *takes off glasses and begins checking shoes*

Customer: *laughs* “You either eat more carrots or put your glasses back on.”

(Normally, I’m fine with joking about my eyesight, but I get very sensitive when people make fun of it.)

Me: *continues checking shoes* “Sir, glaucoma chose me, not the other way around.”

Customer: “Oh…”

(I looked up in time to see the blood drain from the man’s face and his expression turn sheepish. He apologized profusely, which I accepted, and left quietly. I smiled on the inside, knowing that I’ve taught someone a small lesson about judging someone with glasses.)

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