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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Having Funion With Food

    , | York County, ME, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Any veggies on your sandwich?”

    Customer: *mumbles*

    (I think I hear “onions” and reach for them.)

    Customer: “No, no, no, no, no, no, NO! No onions, no onions, no, no, NO!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, no onions then. What did you say?”

    Customer: *repeats veggie order*

    (I get to ringing her up and she begins to apologize.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry if I startled you.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s okay.”

    Customer: “It’s just…I don’t like onions.”

    Me: “It’s really okay.”

    Customer: “No, you don’t understand. You would have had to remake my sandwich. I hate onions! They make me want to vomit! Vomit everywhere!”

    Trust Me, You’re (Not) A Doctor

    | Vancouver, BC, Canada | Health & Body

    Me: “Hello, this is ***** Healthcare line. What can I help you with?”

    Caller: “Hi, I’m calling because my son just ate a bunch of ants.”

    Me: “I’m sorry? Your son ate ants?”

    Caller: “Yes! I was wondering if I need to take him to the hospital and see a doctor.”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, I don’t think you need to worry. I don’t think the ants will make him sick, but I advise that he doesn’t eat any more of them.”

    Caller: “Well, I gave him some ant killer to get rid of them.”

    Caller’s friend: “Get him to the emergency room, now!”

    She’s Nuts About Her Husband

    | North Carolina, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: “Do these cookies contain nuts?”

    Me: “Which cookie are you thinking about?”

    Customer: “The toffee nut cookies.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, they contain brazil nuts.”

    Customer: “I’ll take one.”

    (After a few minutes, the customer returns.)

    Customer: “What kind of nuts do those cookies contain?”

    Me: “Ma’am, they contain brazil nuts.”

    Customer: “Oh, my husband is deathly allergic to those.”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can call 911 or direct you to the nearest hospital.”

    Customer: “Oh, I know where it is, but first, I want to get a sandwich to go…”

    Related:
    Through Joy And Sorrow, Sickness And Health Insurance

    DIY: Dental It Yourself

    , | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “How may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need a very fine grit sandpaper.”

    Me: “Here you go.”

    Customer: “Thanks! This will be perfect for my teeth!”

    More Than Just Your Car Needs Cleaning

    | Long Island, NY, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Top

    Me: “Hi, how are you today? Do you have your receipt?”

    Customer: “Here you go. Do you all do any detailing here?”

    Me: “Sorry, we don’t. I can recommend a place.”

    Customer: “Oh, okay. I just really need to get my car sodomized.”

    Me: “Sorry, what?”

    Manager: *walks in*

    Customer, to my manager: “Do you know a good sodomizer? It’s been ages since I had it done.”

    Manager: *walks out*

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