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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Til Delivery Do Us Part

    | Seattle, WA, USA | Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    Me: “Good morning, ma’am! It’s [my name] from [store name]! I wanted to let you know your order came in—”

    Customer: “Oh! Yes, would you ship it—oh, hold on.”

    (There’s long pause.)

    Customer: “Actually, will you call me back in a couple days? I’m just sitting here waiting for my husband to die.”

    Me: *taken aback* “Oh, my…I am so sorry your husband is ill, ma’am—”

    Customer: “Yeah, yeah. Don’t forget to call me, okay? Bye!” *click*

    Parenting Isn’t A Cake Walk

    | Hamilton, ON, Canada | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A mother and her son are sampling several kinds of ice cream, trying to decide what kind of ice cream cake they want. Note that all flavors are clearly labelled with their contents.)

    Customer: “Are there nuts in the pralines ‘n’ cream ice cream? My son is allergic to nuts.”

    Me: “Yes, pralines are nuts. You did not tell me he has a nut allergy. How’s your son, is he okay? Should I call an ambulance? Do you need help?”

    Customer: “So, about my cake…I’m still not really sure what flavors I want. How can I order my cake now? My son’s face is getting itchy.”

    Me: “You should probably just go ahead and take him to the hospital. Can I call someone? Do you want to use my phone? How’s your son doing?”

    Customer: “Yes, I should probably go to the hospital, but then, how will I order my cake? I want this cake. What should I do?”

    Me: “Take a card and call us with a phone order later. You should get your son some help!”

    Customer: “But, about my cake…”

    (She finally takes him to the hospital. Luckily, it is close by!)

    Perhaps There’s Insufficient Blood To Your Brain

    | Windsor, Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (We have a free self-use blood pressure machine in our pharmacy.)

    Customer: “When are you going to fix your blood pressure machine?”

    Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Your blood pressure machine is broken. Every time I come in here, it doesn’t work! You should really take care of it. Lots of old people need to check their blood pressure, you know!”

    Me: “Are you sure? I just filled the paper roll the other day. It was working fine.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not! I’ve been trying to use it for days. It’s not working. You should really take care of it!”

    (I take a look at the machine and try to troubleshoot the problem. I sit in the seat, roll up my sleeve, put it in the cuff, and push the big green “Start” button. The cuff inflates normally.)

    Customer: “You mean you’re suppose to push that button?!”

    Letting Loose

    , | Texas, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Not too good. My bowel movements are very loose.”

    Me: *speechless*

    If Hugs Could Kill

    | Drexel Hill, PA, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “Hey, how you doing?”

    Customer: “Not too good. My favorite aunt is dying and I have to go to the hospital.”

    Me: “That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear that.”

    Customer: “Thanks. I’m gonna go there and hug her and kiss her to death.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “You know what I mean.”

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