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Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Two Ap-pee-sements For The Price Of (Number) One

| OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I’ve gone to lunch break about an hour before. A kid is with his mom in the store. I tend to make a note of everyone I see in the store, and greet them as I pass, just out of habit. After lunch, the kid comes up to me.)

Kid: “Where’s your bathroom?”

(I look around and find his mother is not with him, or anywhere in sight. Seeing as I can’t make him wait, I decide to take him.)

Me: “Follow me, please…”

(On the way I keep an eye out for the mother, but I don’t find her. When we reach the bathroom, I stand outside the door so I can make sure he’s okay. Just as he is finishing up, his mother finally shows up and looks frantic.)

Mother: “Is my son in there?”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. He’ll be out in just a moment.”

(At this point the kid runs out and hugs his mother.)

Mother: *to child* “I’m going to tie you up from now on. You gave me a heart attack!” *to me* “Thank you so much.”

Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’m glad I could help. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping at [store]!”

Chunder Mountain

| Los Angeles, CA, USA | Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

(I operate a pretty big roller coaster for a ticket run theme park.)

Father: *to his 10 year old* “Shall we ride?”

Son: “We just had lunch.”

Father: “You’re a chicken. I’ll ride it myself!”

Me: “Sir, just so you know, this ride is bumpy and has a lot of quick stops. It isn’t very fun on a full stomach.”

Father: “How would you know? Have you ever tried?”

Me: “No, but I’ve been doing this job for 3 years now.”

Father: “Well, I’ll show you, and I’ll sit in the very back.”

Me: “If you say so; the customer is always right. Have fun!”

(The father boards the ride, and I keep an eye on him. As I predicted, he isn’t going doing so well and is clutching his stomach throughout the ride. When the ride finally jerks to a stop, the puke flies.)

Son: “Dad, I told you not to do it!”

From Hair Raising To Heart Warming

| UK | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Top

(I am standing behind the till, serving customers. I wear a wig; I had Alopecia when I was 16 and haven’t had any hair for three years. A male customer goes past the till, heading for the children’s section, and sees me.)

Customer: “Oh my god, your hair looks amazing! How did you get it like that?!”

Me: “It’s a wig, actually! I lost my hair when I was younger.”

(The customer looks very shocked, but then suddenly gives me a thumbs up.)

Customer: “Darling, you look smashing.”

Me: “Thank you, you just made my day!”

(The customer who took the time to give my self esteem a boost?! I honestly hope he wins the lottery one day!)

A Mother’s Duty

| LA, USA | Health & Body, Language & Words

Me: “Thank you for calling the pharmacy. How may I help you?

Customer: “Hi, my fiancè’s mother is incompetent, and I am going to be helping out with her medicines.”

(When she says ‘incompetent,’ I am thinking she might want to transfer the woman’s meds to our pharmacy, has a question about her drugs, or something of the sort.)

Me: “Okay, what can I help you with?”

Customer: “Since she is incompetent, I think she is going to need some kind of diaper or underwear. So, what do y’all sell there?”

Won’t Listen Until You’re Code Blue In The Face

| KS, USA | Health & Body

(We’ve been extremely busy in the small ER where I work. We’re completely full with people in the waiting room when an ambulance brings in a Code Blue—someone not breathing. The x-ray tech and I are standing in the nurse’s station awaiting instructions, when a patient’s relative comes up.)

Relative: “What’s going on? Why hasn’t the doctor come in to see my son? We’ve been waiting over an hour!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, we have a Code Blue critical patient in and the doctor is busy.”

Relative: “Too busy to check on his patients? This is ridiculous! We haven’t even seen a nurse in 20 d*** minutes!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, like I said, everyone’s busy with the Code Blue and nobody is free at the moment.”

Relative: “This unacceptable! My son is in pain back there, and you don’t give a s***!”

(At this point, the nursing supervisor and the relative of a different patient walks up.)

Supervisor: “Ma’am? Can I help you?”

Relative: “My son is back there in pain and these two aren’t doing a thing about it! Just standing around! And the doctor hasn’t even been in to see him!”

Supervisor: “Well, ma’am, as these young ladies have told you multiple times, we have Code Blue that needs our attention right now.”

Relative: “What the f*** does that even mean?”

Another Patient’s Relative: “It means that someone is DYING, you idiot. Your son’s headache can wait a few minutes!”

(The first relative looked absolutely ashamed of herself and quickly retreated. The other patient’s relative later went on to buy some candy for all our staff as a thank you for working so hard.)

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