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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Not Quite Ringing True

    | England, UK | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I have brought my friend into the hospital.)

    Doctor: “What seems to be the problem?”

    Friend: “I think I inhaled my nose ring…”

    Me: *trying not to laugh*

    Doctor: “Do you think you swallowed it?”

    Friend: “Uhm, yes. But I also feel a lump at the back of my throat…”

    Doctor: *does examination* “Okay, I can’t see anything but I’ll send you for an x-ray. When did this happen?”

    Friend: “Three days ago.”

    Doctor: “So you waited three days to get checked out when you thought you had a piece of metal stuck in your throat, yet you’re breathing, eating, and drinking fine for those three days?”

    Friend: “Yeah.”

    Doctor: “Okay, I’ll send you for an x-ray.”

    (Not surprisingly, the x-ray came back clear and almost everyone was trying to hold in their laughter!)

    Countering Those At The Counter

    | IN, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I’m in line at the pharmacy. It’s been a long day, and I just want to pick up my prescription and go home. The customer in front of me has a basket full of groceries.)

    Customer: “I need to pick up my medicine! And I want to pay for my groceries here. I only have six things.”

    Pharmacist: “Sure, let me get those for you.”

    (The customer puts way more than six grocery items on the counter. I am beyond irritated at this point since she’s making me wait. As the pharmacist scans the groceries, however, I decide not to let it get to me. The wait isn’t that much longer, and I’m next in line anyway.)

    Pharmacist: “… and there you go. You’re all set. Have a nice evening!”

    Customer: “You too.”

    (The customer turns to go and notices me standing in line behind her.)

    Customer: *to me* “Excuse me.”

    Me: “Oh, it’s no problem—”

    Customer: “I SAID, EXCUSE ME. THE SIGN SAYS YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO WAIT FOR THE PHARMACIST, NOT CROWD AROUND THE PEOPLE AT THE COUNTER. YOU ARE IN MY WAY!”

    (She grabs her stuff and storms off in a huff, leaving both me and the pharmacist speechless.)

    Doctor’s Disorders

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

    (It is around three in the morning when I take a phone call.)

    Me: “Front desk.”

    Guest: “Help! My husband is feeling very sick. He needs a doctor!”

    Me: “Ma’am, we don’t have any doctors in the hotel. Shall I call him an ambulance?”

    Guest: *suspiciously* “And just where is this ‘ambulance’ going to take him?”

    Me: “Um, to the hospital…”

    Guest: “…”

    Me: “…where there are doctors?”

    Guest: “Oh. Okay, then.”

    Try Not To Vegetate On It For Too Long

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m in the kitchen making pizzas when my boss comes back and tells me that an order she just sent back requested that we use a clean knife and cutting board to cut her pizza with because she is vegan and doesn’t want her pizza to come into contact with something against her diet. This is not an unusual request so I give her a thumbs up. A few minutes later I get to the ticket.)

    Me: “Hey, [Boss]? It was ticket number 62 that was the vegan ticket, right?”

    Boss: “Yeah.”

    Me: “Ticket 62… The cheese stuffed pizza with extra cheese?”

    Boss: “Yeah…”

    Me: “…”

    Afraid Of Them Dropping By

    , | Round Rock, TX, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a popular national home improvement store, and started out as a temporary cashier. This was a particularly busy Sunday afternoon and, as usual, we were short-staffed for cashiers. A customer comes up to me and asks me to page a lot loader to help her load mulch. I do and the lot loader calls me on the register phone and tells me that he’ll help the customer when he’s done loading another customer. Later, the customer comes back with her mulch inside a large wheelbarrow as well as other items inside of it.)

    Me: “Got everything you need?”

    Customer: “Yes, but I’m not happy. The loader never showed up to help me. I had to use this because there’s no flat carts left!”

    Me: “Well, ma’am, there are carts under the annuals and perennials tables—”

    Customer: “There weren’t any when I needed them!”

    Me: “Well, I apologize for the inconvenience, ma’am. I’ll call the lot loader again and get him to help load the wheelbarrow and the rest of your purchase.”

    Customer: *annoyed* “Didn’t you hear me? There weren’t any flat carts left. I don’t want this. I’m not paying for it.”

    Me: “All right, then. I’ll grab a flat cart and I’ll just put your items on there and—”

    Customer: “Why? It’s already in here. Just ring me up.”

    Me: “Ma’am, if you’re not going to buy the wheelbarrow, you can’t take it out of the store. That’s why I offered to get a flat cart to—”

    Customer: *throws her hands up* “Just ring me up! I’ll bring the d*** wheelbarrow back.”

    (The customer continues to ramble as I ring her up. I call an associate, but tells me he’s busy with another customer. I explained my concern over the fact that the customer could steal a $200 wheelbarrow. Since the customer was urgent to leave and another cashier had come to relieve me for a break. I told the customer I would load her purchase for her. She led me to her mini-van and opened the back door. She had bought an iron rod used for hanging plants which sat on top of the pile of mulch. I placed it at the far side of the wheelbarrow so that I could load her mulch. Just as I load the first bag—with my back to the wheelbarrow—I hear a loud clang.)

    Customer: “Ow!” *holds her right ankle*

    Me: “Are you okay? What happened?”

    Customer: “The iron rod fell on me. I’m sorry. I have a low tolerance for pain. That really hurt.” *heavy tears begin to well up in her eyes*

    (I pick up the iron rod and scratch my head, perplexed at how it could’ve fallen when I put it out of the way. At this point, my coworker comes and finishes loading the customer’s purchase and lets her fill out an incident report. I continue working, but the assistant manager calls me into his office. Note: this manager is the asset protection manager.)

    Manager: “Hey, do you mind filling out the incident form?”

    Me: “Sure. Is the customer okay? She was crying pretty bad.”

    Manager: “She has a small bruise on her ankle, but she’s claiming that you dropped it on her.”

    Me: *staring, stunned* “Are you serious? After going to the whole trouble of helping her load her purchase? I didn’t want her to steal that wheelbarrow!”

    Manager: “Oh, I know. I checked the cameras that survey the parking lot. She dropped it on herself.”

    Me: “…seriously?”

    Manager: “Hey, you have no idea how far some people will go.”

    (Now that customer goes out of her way to let me ring her up. I’ve since been promoted to a higher ranking position, but I steer clear of her to make sure she can’t drop anything else on herself and blame me again.)

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