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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    One Of The Bugbears Of The Service Industry

    | Joplin, MO, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Movies & TV, Pets & Animals

    (I am working at a chain movie store. A young couple come in with two large cardboard boxes full of DVDs to sell back to us. I start the buy-back. I check about 10 DVDs for disk quality with no problem but when I open the next one, cockroaches literally explode out of it and all over me. Naturally, I scream, hurl the DVD away, and proceed to shake and twitch for five minutes. Once I get myself together I put the DVDs back in the box and call the customers back up.)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I cannot complete your buy-back at this time. I found some cockroaches in one of the cases and don’t feel comfortable working with them. If you’d like to check over them yourselves I’d be glad to look at them when you bring them back.”

    Young Woman: “You found what?”

    Me: “Cockroaches.”

    Young Woman: “Well, they’ve been sitting in a garage for months.”

    Me: “If you go through them at home and bring them back I’ll be glad to help you then. But not today.”

    Young Woman: “Okay. So, are you going to do the buy-back now?”

    Me: “…no.”

    In A Nut Shell: You’re Lying

    | England, UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I and my husband own a tea room. We only serve drinks and cakes (sweet pie/pastries/donuts, etc.), absolutely nothing hot or savoury. We also do party platters. We are well known in our area for being a nut-free establishment due to my husband’s (the baker) severe allergy.)

    Customer: “I need a refund on the food I ordered for my grandson’s birthday party at the weekend. I have the receipt.”

    Me: “I’m sorry you weren’t happy. What was wrong with the food?”

    Customer: “It was totally unsatisfactory! We paid a lot of money for your food and my daughter was most upset.”

    (I’m looking over the receipt and notice it was a lot of money, over £100. Every food item is listed, with quantity, and it seems a lot for a child’s party. I call my husband to take a look and he remembers talking to the child’s mother on the phone and again when she picked everything up.)

    Husband: “I remember when your daughter ordered it and picked it up. I asked her repeatedly if she had the numbers right. It was a lot of food for a nine-year-old’s party.”

    Customer: “That’s not the point. All of the quiches were undercooked, the sandwiches had the wrong fillings, and the birthday cake had hazelnuts in it. My grandson has a nut allergy. He was rushed to hospital on his birthday. He could have died! DIED!”

    (By now other customers are looking and listening in.)

    Husband: “You’re lying.”

    Customer: “Well, I never! How dare you speak to me like that! I want my money back!

    Me: “Have you looked at this receipt? First, your daughter paid by card. Second, we do not sell anything other than cake. No sandwiches, quiche, sausage roll, nothing. Look around you. Look at our display cabinets. Only cake. And last, there were no nuts of any kind anywhere near your or anyone else’s food here. My husband is so allergic to all kind of nuts that we can’t even eat out anymore. He once served someone who had peanut butter for breakfast and he broke out in a rash and his hand swelled from touching the money. This is a 100% nut free shop. You walked past a sign on the window saying there are no nuts in our food.”

    Customer: “You just don’t want to give me my money back.”

    Me: “You didn’t pay. Your daughter paid with her debit card. If she comes in, with your grandson’s hospital discharge papers, I will refund her. Other than that I’ll assume that she over ordered, spent too much money, regrets it, and sent you to try and trick us. I have your daughter’s details here. If you don’t leave I’ll have to call her and tell her you are making fraudulent claims and I will contact the police.”

    Customer: *recoiling a bit and deciding to leave* “I think I’ll send my daughter in here to sort this out.”

    (As she leaves I realise all our other customers are staring at me.)

    Other Customer: “Do you think I could get a wrongly filled sandwich and a hazelnut birthday cake?”

    (At least that lightened the mood.)

    Pajama Drama, Part 2

    | San Francisco, CA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I work in the lingerie section of a very well-known department store when a male customer walks in.)

    Me: “Hi there. What were you looking for today?”

    Customer: “I’m looking for some sexy bras and underwear for my girlfriend.”

    Me: “Okay, did you know her bra size?”

    Customer: “Um… no.”

    Me: “Well… sexy pajamas it is, then!”

    Related:
    Pajama Drama

    Children Can Man-age To Listen

    , | NH, USA | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m a female-to-male transgender person who is not on hormones yet; despite this, I don’t have much of a problem with pronoun mistakes. The customer I have is a middle-aged woman and her young son, about six or seven.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How are you today?”

    Woman: “I’m good.” *to her son* “Tell the lady what you want!”

    Son: “Momma, that’s a man.”

    Woman: “Shhh! Don’t say that! You’ll make her feel bad.”

    Me: “Actually, he’s right. I am a boy.”

    Woman: *ignoring me* “I can see why you’re confused, though.” *to me* “You need to start wearing makeup or something. My son is getting confused!”

    Me: “Ma’am, your son is correct.”

    Woman: *still ignoring what I’m saying* “And would it kill you to grow your hair out? Everyone’s going to think that you’re a lesbian!”

    Me: *getting fed up* “Ma’am. I. Am. A. Man.”

    Woman: “Why didn’t you say so?”

    Son: “He did. You didn’t listen, mommy.”

    Me: “Look, it’s not really a big deal. It happens all the time—”

    Woman: “Then grow some facial hair or something! I can’t tell what you are!”

    Me: “Um…”

    Son: “Mommy, stop being stupid!”

    (The son said his order and they checked out. The woman was completely silent after the son’s comment and she booked it out of the store.)

    Getting Sick Of This Call

    | BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (I work at a call centre for a rental company. We are open quite late so keep in mind that it’s around midnight at this point.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling—”

    Caller: “I insist that you rush through the call as I can’t hold the phone for extended periods due to medical reasons!”

    Me: “Oh, okay. First I’ll need some information—”

    Caller: “No, no! That’s a waste of time! I insist that you refund me right away. And if you don’t I’m going to sue you and the company for my injuries because you’re taking too long!”

    (She also ‘had a seizure’ while on the call because my voice was too high pitched…)

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