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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Getting Burned Can Be A Pain In The Butt

    | Salt Lake City, UT, USA | Health & Body

    (It is a very windy day during summer, and a power line has blown over in the field behind our store.)

    Me: “Hello, [pharmacy] how may I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to see if you have [hemorrhoid cream] in stock.”

    Me: “Alright, let me check…”

    (At this point, I put him on hold to check our stock when a fireman walks in. He tells us they are evacuating all the buildings in the area, and that we have 5 minutes to get out. I go back to pick up the phone so the customer isn’t on hold forever.)

    Me: “Sir, we do have it in stock. However, I can’t help you right now. I’m being told to evacuate the building.”

    Customer: “Does it have aloe vera in it?”

    Me: “I don’t know. As I said, I need to hang up. Please call back tomorrow.”

    Customer: “Can you see if you can order it for me?”

    Me: “Sir, there is a field fire right behind the pharmacy and I really can’t answer your questions right now. I was told by the fire department to evacuate. Please, call back another time.”

    Customer: “Well, fine then. I’ll just get it somewhere else!” *hangs up*

    Your Argument Just Went Up In Smoke

    | BC, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (A young man walks into store, grabs two energy drinks, and then comes to the till to pay. As he’s paying, a middle-aged customer comes into the store.)

    Middle-aged Customer: “I can’t believe they haven’t banned those energy drinks yet! They’re so bad for you. Some kid down in the States died from them!”

    Young Customer: *finishes paying and leaves*

    Middle-aged Customer: “I’ll have two packs of cigarettes, please.”

    D-Eye-Y

    | New Zealand | Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I am currently going through medical school and working at a nearby hardware store part-time to help pay the bills. As part of study, students have been given internships at various local hospitals. Note: New Zealanders pride themselves on their DIY skills.)

    Customer: “Hey mate, I need some stuff to build a deck. Can ya help me find it?”

    Me: “Certainly, what were you after?”

    (As per our instruction, after recommending the tools and materials the customer would need, I am required to point out various safety gear as well. All has been going great so far…)

    Me: “May I also recommend that you grab some safety glasses? They could save you a lot of trouble if things happen to go wrong.”

    Customer: *suddenly hostile* “Look, mate, I don’t need any of this s***! I know how it needs to be done. Any real man does! If you were a real man, you’d know too. I ain’t paying for any s*** I don’t need!”

    (He eventually leaves, but not before complaining to customer service about me. Three days later while working at the hospital as a medical student, I take the same customer’s history. The reason: he had a splinter lodged in the side of his eye. I wish I was making this up!)

    Rooted In Anger

    | Illinois, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (Note: My hair is a darker shade of auburn and I am often asked it’s natural, which it is. A seemingly normal woman comes up to the register.)

    Me: “Is this all today, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Oh, my! Is that your actual hair color?”

    Me: “Oh, yes, it is.”

    Customer: “It’s not fair! IT MAKES ME WANT TO RIP YOUR EYEBALLS OUT!”

    Liar, Liar, Hand’s On Fire

    | CA, USA | Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

    (Our theme park has designated smoking areas. I have just rounded a corner and see a guest smoking in a non-designated spot near a children’s play area. She spots me quickly and hides the cigarette in her hand.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a non-smoking area. I can show you to one of our designated smoking areas just a short distance away.”

    Guest: “I wasn’t smoking! That is a very rude accusation to make!”

    (Meanwhile, smoke has been drifting out from between her fingers where she has cupped her hand around the still-lit cigarette.)

    Me: “Then it appears your hand is on fire. I can take you to one of our emergency medical stations. They’re conveniently located next to our designated smoking areas.”

    Guest: *deadpan* “Yes, that’s it. Oh no, my hand! Please show me to medical station!”

    (I lead her towards the medical station. As soon as she sees the smoking area, she peels off without a word and goes there to finish her cigarette.)

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