Not Always Right on Facebook Not Always Right on Twitter Not Always Right Unfiltered on Tumblr
Featured Story:
  • His Attitude Speaks Volumes
    (1,926 thumbs up)
  • August Theme Of The Month: We Are Closed!
    Submit your story today!

    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Perhaps There’s Insufficient Blood To Your Brain

    | Windsor, Ontario, Canada | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (We have a free self-use blood pressure machine in our pharmacy.)

    Customer: “When are you going to fix your blood pressure machine?”

    Pharmacist: “Excuse me?”

    Customer: “Your blood pressure machine is broken. Every time I come in here, it doesn’t work! You should really take care of it. Lots of old people need to check their blood pressure, you know!”

    Me: “Are you sure? I just filled the paper roll the other day. It was working fine.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not! I’ve been trying to use it for days. It’s not working. You should really take care of it!”

    (I take a look at the machine and try to troubleshoot the problem. I sit in the seat, roll up my sleeve, put it in the cuff, and push the big green “Start” button. The cuff inflates normally.)

    Customer: “You mean you’re suppose to push that button?!”

    Letting Loose

    , | Texas, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

    Customer: “Not too good. My bowel movements are very loose.”

    Me: *speechless*

    If Hugs Could Kill

    | Drexel Hill, PA, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “Hey, how you doing?”

    Customer: “Not too good. My favorite aunt is dying and I have to go to the hospital.”

    Me: “That’s too bad. I’m sorry to hear that.”

    Customer: “Thanks. I’m gonna go there and hug her and kiss her to death.”

    Me: *speechless*

    Customer: “You know what I mean.”

    A Hearty Heart Meal

    | Cincinnati, OH, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    Me: “Welcome to [restaurant)]. My name is—”

    Customer: *rudely* “Can we go ahead and order? I am starving.”

    Me: “Go right ahead, sir.”

    Customer: “I’ll have the never-ending pancake sampler, but make it all bacon and add an extra egg over easy.”

    (He finishes his order, but continues to stare at me the entire time, until his food arrives. Note that his order comes with 3 eggs, 6 strips of bacon, hash browns and 3 pancakes. He asks me to bring out more pancakes twice, bringing his total to 8.)

    Me: *dropping off the check* “Is there anything else I can get for you today?”

    Customer: “No, that was great. I’m sorry I was so rude earlier; I was just starving. I just got out of the hospital for a heart attack. They don’t let you eat anything in there!”

    It’s High Time To Lay Off The Drugs

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?

    Customer: “Yeah, when do you start lunch?”

    Me: “At 10:30, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Okay, so can I get [large lunch meal]?”

    Me: “No, ma’am, it’s still breakfast.”

    Customer: “But you just said you start lunch at 10:30!”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am, but it’s not 10:30 yet.”

    Customer: “What time is it?”

    Me: “6:00 am, ma’am.”

    Customer: “Oh.” *long pause* “Sorry, I didn’t realize I was this high when I left the house!”


    Page 78/95First...7677787980...Last