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  • Had It Up To Their Neck With Bad Customers
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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    A-Pee-l For An Appointment

    | OR, USA | Health & Body

    (Some of the exams we schedule require that a patient have a full bladder at the time of the exam in order to get the appropriate images.)

    Caller: “Hi, I was hoping you might have an opening for an OB ultrasound this afternoon?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the schedule is actually very full today. I could get her in tomorrow afternoon if you’d like?”

    Caller: “No, that’s okay. She’s just here now with a full bladder and we didn’t want to waste it.”

    A Dead Giveaway

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am answering the switchboard for a large hospital.)

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me what phone company the hospital uses?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. The person that has that information left at 5:00 p.m. But if you call our purchasing office in the morning, they can tell you.”

    Caller: “Oh, no! It is a matter of grave importance that I find out right now!”

    Me: “What is the situation? Maybe I can help?”

    Caller: “My grandmother died there about a week ago and she didn’t have a will. I know for a fact that all the phone companies record all of our conversations. So, I thought maybe grandma called someone while she was in the hospital and told them what she left me.”

    Trouble’s A Cold Callin’

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Health & Body

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] from [company name]. I’m calling to see if you would be willing to take part in a survey about the recent swine flu outbreak?”
     
    Woman: “This is a Sunday morning. How dare you call me?!”
     
    Me: “I’m very sorry to have bothered you.”
     
    Woman: “Give me your number and we’ll see how you like being called on a Sunday morning.”
     
    Me: “Ma’am, I work on a Sunday morning. You can call, but I won’t be there.”

    So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two youngs boys is ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

    (The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

    (The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

    Mother, to me and the pharmacist: “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

    Pray There’s No Back Door

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Funny Names, Health & Body

    Customer: *referring to the recital hall* “Excuse me, can you direct me to your Rectal Hall?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “The Rectal Hall. I need to get into your Rectal Hall. Where is your Rectal Hall?”

    Me: “I sincerely doubt you want the answer to that question.”


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