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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    So Mummy Can Have Birds Without The Bees

    | United Kingdom | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Rude & Risque

    (I am a customer in line at a pharmacy. A mother and her two youngs boys is ahead of me. One of the young boys is sitting on the floor pointing at random medicines.)

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s for an itchy head.”

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s for when you can’t sleep.”

    (The boy then points at the pregnancy tests.)

    Boy: “Mummy, what’s that for?”

    Mother: “That’s to see if you have a baby growing inside of you!”

    (The boy then stands up and gets back in line with his mother.)

    Mother, to me and the pharmacist: “Thank god he didn’t point at the condoms!”

    Pray There’s No Back Door

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Funny Names, Health & Body

    Customer: *referring to the recital hall* “Excuse me, can you direct me to your Rectal Hall?”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Customer: “The Rectal Hall. I need to get into your Rectal Hall. Where is your Rectal Hall?”

    Me: “I sincerely doubt you want the answer to that question.”

    Not Quite Getting To Beirut Of The Matter

    | Sydney, Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (An elderly man, his son and a nurse stop by the hospital cafe. The man is looking at the soft drinks in the fridge.)

    Man: “I want a lemonade!”

    Me: “Are you allowed to have lemonade?” *to son* “Isn’t he diabetic?”

    Son: “No, he’s Lebanese.”

    Will Never Get Past The Conceptual Stage

    | Melbourne, Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A customer comes to my register with prenatal vitamins and a book on conception.)

    Customer: "The tablets scanned at $32.50. They’re supposed to be $20!"

    Me: "Oh, I’m sorry. I’ll just get someone to check the price. Won’t be a moment."

    *checks*

    Me: "No, I’m sorry. $32.50 is the correct price."

    Customer: "$32.50 is way too expensive! I don’t want to conceive that much!"

    Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday, Part 2

    | Texas, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    Me: “Thank you for calling [hospital]. How may I help you?”

    Caller: “Yeah. I had a baby at your hospital about a week ago, and when I was discharged I got a lot of papers and some samples. One of the papers says something about a PKU test.”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. How can I help you with that?”

    Caller: “Well, it says on this paper that I need to bring my ‘new arrival’ to registration and they would help me get the PKU test done. I want you to know that I have looked all through the papers and stuff you gave me and I can’t find anything marked ‘new arrival’. What is this ‘new arrival’ I am supposed to bring with me when I come in?”

    Me: “Ma’am, that would be your infant child…your new baby.”

    Caller: “Oh my freaking God! If you mean ‘new baby’, then write ‘new baby’! Not everyone understands this hospital medical jargon!”

    Related:
    Sadly Wasn’t Born Yesterday


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