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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Try Our New De Caf Bonne Nuit Blend

    | UK | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: *angrily* “Get your manager. I have a complaint!”

    Me: “Of course, sir. Just a moment, please.”

    (I get the manager.)

    Manager: “Can I help you, sir?”

    Customer: *still angry* “Yesterday evening, I ordered six cups of coffee to go because I had work to do, but I fell asleep after an hour! My work is ruined! I’m going to sue your a**!”

    Manager: “What flavor did you order?”

    Customer: *thinks for a moment* “A french flavor…de Caf!”

    Urine A Lot Of Trouble Now

    | Gulfport, MS, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    (A man walks to the counter and sets his item down. I grab the box without looking and scan it.)

    Me: “How you doin’?”

    Customer: “You tell me!”

    (I look down at the box I’m holding. It reads “Urinary Pain Relief”.)

    Everybody’s A Doctor

    | California, USA | Health & Body

    (I’m working the drive through on a busy night and have just handed out a customer’s order. I’m saying “goodbye” when this conversation happens.)

    Customer: “Does your left hip hurt?”

    Me: *confused* “No…?”

    Customer: “Oh, well, how about your throat?”

    Me: *wondering what my hip has to do with my throat* “Nope.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, that’s good. That’s very good.”

    Me: “All right, have a nice night.”

    A Horse Can Lead Itself To Water

    | East Coast, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Top

    (My father is a dentist, and he is known among his dentist friends for having insane patients. This one really takes the cake, though.)

    Dental Office: “Good morning, this is Dr. [name]‘s office. How may I help
    you?”

    Patient: “Yes, it’s [name]. I’d like to cancel my appointment for today.”

    Dental Office: “I’m sorry to hear that. May I ask why you’re canceling?”

    Patient: “I have this awful toothache!”

    The Cannabis Chronicles

    | Hilo, HI, USA | Health & Body, Technology

    Customer: “I need an auxiliary cable and a USB cord.”

    Me: “Okay, no problem.”

    (I take the customer to where the USB cords are and hand him the one he wants. He puts it under his arm and we continue over to where the aux cables are.)

    Me: “All right, and here’s your cable. Is there anything else that I can help you with today?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I need a USB cord.”

    Me: “Like the one under your arm?”

    (The customer looks down and seems shocked to be holding the cord.)

    Customer: “Woah! Must be all that weed I smoke!”

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