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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Makeup Quiz For A Madeup Flu

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, School

    (A student who has missed class and calls me a day later to explain her absence.)

    Student: “I need to take the quiz I missed yesterday.”

    Me: “Remember, quizzes cannot be made up.”

    Student: “I missed class yesterday because my son is sick.”

    Little voice in the background: “Momma, I’m sick?”

    A State Of Mindlessness, Part 2

    | WA, USA | Health & Body, Home Improvement

    Customer: “Excuse me, I’ve noticed that all these pieces of wood have a sticker on them that say’s they contain a product that is believed to cause cancer in the state of California.”

    Me: “Yes, that is just a sticker the company has left on there because we also sell in California.”

    Customer: “So, since I live here in Washington I won’t get cancer, right?”

    Related:
    A State Of Mindlessness

    A-Pee-l For An Appointment

    | OR, USA | Health & Body

    (Some of the exams we schedule require that a patient have a full bladder at the time of the exam in order to get the appropriate images.)

    Caller: “Hi, I was hoping you might have an opening for an OB ultrasound this afternoon?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, the schedule is actually very full today. I could get her in tomorrow afternoon if you’d like?”

    Caller: “No, that’s okay. She’s just here now with a full bladder and we didn’t want to waste it.”

    A Dead Giveaway

    | TX, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am answering the switchboard for a large hospital.)

    Caller: “Hi, I was wondering if you could tell me what phone company the hospital uses?”

    Me: “I’m not sure. The person that has that information left at 5:00 p.m. But if you call our purchasing office in the morning, they can tell you.”

    Caller: “Oh, no! It is a matter of grave importance that I find out right now!”

    Me: “What is the situation? Maybe I can help?”

    Caller: “My grandmother died there about a week ago and she didn’t have a will. I know for a fact that all the phone companies record all of our conversations. So, I thought maybe grandma called someone while she was in the hospital and told them what she left me.”

    Trouble’s A Cold Callin’

    | Edinburgh, Scotland, UK | Health & Body

    Me: “Hello, this is [name] from [company name]. I’m calling to see if you would be willing to take part in a survey about the recent swine flu outbreak?”
     
    Woman: “This is a Sunday morning. How dare you call me?!”
     
    Me: “I’m very sorry to have bothered you.”
     
    Woman: “Give me your number and we’ll see how you like being called on a Sunday morning.”
     
    Me: “Ma’am, I work on a Sunday morning. You can call, but I won’t be there.”


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