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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Suffocatingly Insufferable

    | Michigan, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I work in an enclosed collision center where the customer can drive in for an estimate. We therefore ask all customers to turn off their vehicle while it’s inside to prevent the fumes from building up.)

    Me: “Hello, ma’am! Can you please turn your vehicle off and we can start the estimate?”

    Customer: “No, I will not! My children are in the car. It is far too hot for them!”

    Me: “We have to have the vehicle turned off. The fumes can build up in here very quickly making everyone—including your children—very sick.”

    Customer: “I care that my children are too HOT. I don’t care if they get SICK!”

    You Say Barokee, I Say You Need To Pee

    | Sardis, BC, Canada | Health & Body, Language & Words, Top, Tourists/Travel

    (I work in a convenience store on the way to a lake (popular with tourists), and the till faces the front door. Currently, two women are in line, the first of which is paying with her debit card. Her back is to the door, and her head is down. Suddenly, a man comes bursting through the door yelling. Both women are incredibly startled.)

    Man: “BAAARRRROKEE!”

    Woman #1: “Oh my God!” *bolts upright*

    (Woman #2 starts laughing hysterically, while Woman #1 has stopped in the middle of entering her pin to stare.)

    Man: “BAAAAAA. ROOOOOO. KEEEEEEE. BAROOKEE. BAROOKE!”

    Me: “Bathroom key?”

    Man: “Yeah! Barookee!”

    (He runs off in the direction of the bathroom, arms literally flailing.)

    Woman #2: “How did you know what the heck he was saying?”

    Me: *deadpan* “I speak tourist.”

    Painful Showers Bring Mayday Flowers

    | Midwest, USA | Awesome Customers, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (While working at the flower shop, I’m trying to quickly help a pushy customer.)

    Customer #1: “Could you HURRY up? I’m in a rush!”

    (I hurriedly wrap her flowers in tissue. In my rush to appease her, I staple my thumb to the paper. The staple is completely closed, going through BOTH my thumb and the paper. It immediately starts bleeding on her flowers.)

    Me: “OW! Oh, gosh, I need to get some help with this!”

    Customer #1: “No! I need my flowers! Give them to me!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am bleeding all over your flowers. I need some help getting this out of my thumb. I’m sorry, but you’ll need to wait.”

    Customer #1: “NO! HURRY UP!”

    Me: “Do you want bloody flowers?”

    Customer #1: “I don’t care about your thumb! Get me new flowers!”

    (At this point, I notice Customer #2, who is standing behind her, getting woozy at the sight of my bleeding stapled thumb.)

    Me: *to Customer #2* “Sir, are you going to be okay?”

    Customer #1: “Stop helping him! You’re supposed to be helping me!”

    (Finally, a coworker hears the commotion and comes up front. She immediately gets on rubber gloves and starts trying to pry the staple out.)

    Customer #1: “I can’t believe this! If I wasn’t in such a hurry, I would just go somewhere else!”

    Customer #2: *still looking green* “Lady, just go somewhere else! Leave the poor girl alone!”

    Customer #1: “Lazy employees!” *throws her hands in the air and leaves*

    (Soon, the staple is gone and my wound is bandaged. At least my day ended on a high point—Customer #2 was very pleasant and bought me a flower!)

    One Bloody Scary On The Shocks

    | Sydney, Australia | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am working at the bar on a particularly busy night and I don’t realise that I have cut one of my fingers. As I hand a customer his drink, I notice a bit of blood on the glass.)

    Me: “Oh my god, I’m so sorry! I must have cut myself. Let me remake that for you!”

    Customer: “Don’t worry, it’s fine.”

    Me: “No, I cut myself and there’s a bit of blood on that glass. Please, let me give you a new one.”

    (Before I can take the glass back, the customer picks it up.)

    Customer: “I like it this way. Don’t worry!”

    Me: “But—”

    (The customer turns the glass around and drinks from the side with my blood.)

    Customer: *grinning* “Mmmm, delicious! Thanks!”

    Me: *horrified*

    You Say Potato, I Say Epinephrine

    , | West Monroe, LA, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Customer: “I said I wanted tater tots, not fries.”

    Car Hop: “Ma’am, that is an order of tater tots.”

    Customer: “No, it’s not. I see a fry in there!”

    Car Hop: “It’s just one fry, ma’am. It wasn’t put in there on purpose.”

    Customer: “WHERE’S YOUR MANAGER?! I ordered tots, and that’s all I want! I’M ALLERGIC TO POTATOES!”

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