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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Disrespect Can Be Infectious

    | Michigan, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Top

    (A customer approaches my register and drops her items on the counter in two separate piles without acknowledging me or diverting attention from her cellphone. There is a line forming as there is only one cash register. Note: I work part-time here; my other job is at a pharmacy.)

    Me: “Did you find everything all right today?”

    Customer: *to her phone* “So, I went to the doctor and he prescribed me zithromyacin…”

    Me: “Okay, were you going with all of these today or is this pile here to go back?”

    Customer: *to her phone* “Well, I didn’t want to spend money on another prescription, so I just took some Diflucan I had at home.”

    Me: “I’m sorry to interrupt, but I need to know what you plan to purchase before I can ring you up.”

    Customer: *to her phone* “That should be okay, right? I mean, I don’t even know what Diflucan is, but I figured it was stupid to spend more money on pills.”

    Me: “So, should I go ahead and ring these?

    Customer: *to her phone* “I mean, what is Diflucan anyway?”

    Me: *a bit loudly* “DIFLUCAN is most frequently prescribed for YEAST INFECTIONS. Were you ready to check out or would you like to step into a more private area to finish your call?”

    Customer: “Okay, these are the items what I wanted to purchase!” *pays and quickly leaves, embarrassed*

    Contraception Misperceptions

    | Oslo, Norway | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I am a pharmacist working at 24-hour pharmacy. This takes place on a late Sunday evening.)

    Female Caller: “Hello, um… I… um… you know the morning after pill?”

    Me: “Yes, certainly. What would you like to know about it?”

    Female Caller: “Is there an anti-morning after pill?”

    Me: “Sorry? An anti-morning after pill?”

    Female Caller: “Yes. You see, this guy, he came around today, and he brought some flowers and everything, so now I’m kind of regretting taking that pill. So is there an anti-morning after pill I could take?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, there isn’t such a thing.”

    Female Caller: “Oh, that is a shame. Do you think they will make one?”

    Me: “No, I’m sorry, but I really don’t think they will.”

    Female Caller: “Really? Oh, that is a bummer.” *hangs up*

    Backhanded Corpulence

    | Essex, UK | Health & Body

    (I’m customer-facing tech support, and I’ve just fixed up a customer’s phone after a few issues she’s been having.)

    Customer: “Oh, that’s brilliant! Thank you so much! Oh, and I love your hair! It’s so trendy!”

    Me: “Thanks! Well, if you need any more—”

    Customer: “Yeah, sort your weight out and you’d be alright looking.”

    Me: “Sorry?!”

    Customer: “It’s okay, just exercise! Bye!”

    Moon Over My Chevy

    | Crossville, TN, USA | Bizarre, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Transportation

    (I work as a waitress in a small restaurant where the owner is the cook. We see a van pull in, so the owner/cook goes to the kitchen to get things ready. However, after several minutes, no one comes inside so the owner comes back out.)

    Owner: “I guess they’re meeting someone.”

    Me: “Yeah… oh, wait. There’s a kid.”

    (I watch from behind the register as a young boy, probably 5 years old, walks in front of their van and just stands there, facing the car. I look away for a second to see if another has pulled in and when I look back I see the boy’s bare butt.)

    Me: “What is he doing? Changing clothes?”

    Owner: “No, I think he’s flashing us.”

    Me: “What?!” *I stand on my tippy toes to see more clearly* “Oh no! No!”

    Owner: “What? What’s he doing?”

    Me: “He’s PEEING on the hood of their car!”

    (Sure enough, instead of bring their kid inside to use the bathroom before they ordered food, the parents must have figured their hood was good enough. I’d hate to be their mechanic!)

    Semper Bye Bye, Part 2

    | MN, USA | Health & Body, Military, Top

    (I’ve recently come back from a week off recovering from surgery. This takes place when a semi-regular customer, who has always been a bit of a pain, sees me back.)

    Customer: “You! Where the h*** have you been?! Off on vacation, I assume, off enjoying yourself not giving two s***s about your customers!”

    Me: “Actually, I was recovering from surgery.”

    Customer: “Right, you expect me to believe you had surgery done? You were probably on vacation! Don’t you know you people don’t get a vacation? You are put on this earth to cater to people like me!”

    Me: “Yeah, no.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?!”

    Me: “I’m not put here to cater to you. In fact, I’m refusing you service.”

    Customer: “You can’t do that, you stupid b****! Do your f***ing job before I beat some sense into you!”

    (By this point, a coworker and the owner have overheard the commotion and come over.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Go ahead and clock out.”

    Customer: *startled* “What?”

    Coworker: “You wanted to have a go at her, right? Well, I’m letting her go clock out. I should warn you, though, she’s a black belt and she served two tours in Iraq. Good luck to you, sir.”

    Customer: *to the owner* “I want her fired!”

    Owner: “I want to watch her kick your a** all over our parking lot. We can’t always get what we want.”

    Customer: “You can’t speak to me this way! Don’t you know who I am?”

    Owner: “Can’t say that I care who you are.”

    Customer: “I’m very important!”

    Coworker: “No you aren’t. People who say that are never important. Are you also kind of a big deal?”

    Customer: “I DEMAND something be done about this! What are you going to do?!”

    Owner: “Well, first I’m going to kick you out, then I’m going to let her go kick you around our parking lot, THEN I plan to give both my employees here raises for having to deal with people like you.”

    Customer: “You can’t do that!”

    Owner: “Sure I can. Oh, and I’d get moving if I were you. I’m sending her to clock out right now.”

    Customer: “Right, like you can do anything to me.”

    Me: “Honey, I was trained by the US Marines. Do you really want to take that chance?”

    (The customer finally believes me and suddenly looks terrified. He starts backing away with his hands out.)

    Customer: “Hey, we were just fooling… no harm done, right?”

    Me: “Wrong, I’ll give you a ten second head start…”

    (The customer runs out of the store in a blind panic. We never saw him again after that. My coworker and I did in fact get a raise!)

    Related:
    Semper Bye Bye

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