Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Have A Heart (Failure)

| Staines, England, UK | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I am a customer in a supermarket. Unfortunately I am standing by the dairy aisle watching a paramedics team trying to save a man on the floor who’s probably had a heart attack. Both ends of the aisle are crudely boxed off and a member of staff is standing there preventing anyone entering the aisle. At the far end of the aisle there’s a middle-aged woman arguing with the staff member to be quickly let in to just get a tub of spread. She is quietly being told no. The woman must have run down the next aisle because she suddenly appears next to me and starts arguing again with another staff member.)

Customer: “Can you just reach over and pass me a tub of that [Spread]?”

Staff Member: “Ma’am, please, have a bit of sensitivity…”

Customer: “Oh, right! As if he cares one way or another!”

(The rest of us customers stared at each other in disbelief!)

The Sign Of A Bad Week

| Winnipeg, MB, Canada | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(Two of the three doctors in our clinic are going on vacation for a week in the middle of summer. We have signs up for a month informing people when they will be away and make sure we tell everyone who calls the dates they will be away for. During the time they are away, there is a huge sign on the door stating the walk-in is closed, as well as a huge sign on the desk that we purposely place directly in the way so people will see it. I am also off for the week while my coworker remains at the office to do paperwork. The next week I return:)

Me: “So, how many people pushed the sign on the desk out of the way to ask you to get in to see the doctor?”

Coworker: “I lost count after 12.”

Me: “When did you hit 12?”

Coworker: *sigh* “Tuesday.”

Depressing Customer Service

| CO, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Family & Kids, Health & Body

(A customer and her five-ish-year-old son are checking out at my register. There is a magazine display nearby. One of the magazines’ cover is a tribute to a comedian who recently committed suicide.)

Customer’s Son: *pointing at the magazine* “Mommy, he died. Did you know he died?”

Customer: “Yes, it was very sad.”

Son: “He committed suicide. What does ‘committed suicide’ mean?”

Customer: “It means he hurt himself badly. Now, let’s go.

Son: “He hurted himself and died? I don’t understand. Can I skin my knee and die?!”

Customer: “No, it’s not like that. He was very sad.”

Son: “What? He died of being sad? Why was he sad? Someone said he was ‘depressed.’ What is ‘depressed?'”

Customer: *to me* “Can you explain this to him? I don’t want to.”

Me: “Um, well, I don’t really feel comfortable doing that; I’m sorry.”

Customer: “What? I hate this store. You’re so unhelpful. I’ll be talking to your corporate office.” *drags son out the door*

(I think even corporate will agree that explaining mental illness to a customer’s five-year-old is not my job.)

Extension Number Two

| AB, Canada | Bizarre, Books & Reading, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I don’t think this actually was a prank call, but I wish it was. I answer the phone at the library and it’s a regular customer with a history for over sharing with staff…)

Me: “Hi, this is [Library]. How can I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, yes, I need more time with my library books.”

Me: *bringing up her account* “Okay, well, it looks like you’ve already had a couple of extensions…”

Customer: “You don’t understand! I can’t leave the house! I have explosive diarrhea! I can’t leave the toilet! I’m on the cordless!”

(I, noticing that every single book she has checked out are for weird diet fads like the ‘strawberry diet,’ figured her story seemed to check out, and extended her materials before I had to talk to her on the toilet anymore.)

Going To Get Charged With Nine Months

| CT, USA | Criminal/Illegal, Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers

(I work in this small grocery store and we don’t get many customers until one day…)

Me: “Good morning, ma’am. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hello, could you help me with my stuff.”

(The lady has a large stomach.)

Me: “Sure, ma’am.”

(I help her, but she slips a bit and I see a watermelon sticking out a bit from her shirt.)

Me: “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to remove the watermelon from your shirt.”

Customer: “WHAT THE F*** ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT, YOU DISRESPECTFUL B****?! CAN’T YOU SEE I’M PREGNANT?!”

Me: “I can see it slipping from your shirt…”

(At this point the customer started running away, but fell over herself. The watermelon splattered everywhere and she kept screaming MY BABY! MY POOR BABY! but realized it was useless and she was caught. That really made my day.)

Related:
See this story as a comic!

Page 7/114First...56789...Last