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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Needs To Clean Out More Than The Hard Drive

    | NV, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Technology

    (I work in the electronics section of a home store. I deal mostly with computers, tablets, and the like. A customer is having troubles setting up a computer after purchasing it the previous day. He needs to do a local account reset so the computer can be used like new. I tell him to come back down to the store, because it would be easier to show him how to do it. The customer in question is probably in his 80s. I am a girl in my 20s. My coworker, who is also a girl in her 20s, is standing next to me.)

    Customer: *smelling of stale cigarettes and other things* “Hi, I spoke to you on the phone about my computer.”

    Me: “Yes, of course. Go ahead and take your computer out and we will plug it in and take care of your issues. Other than the problem that you spoke to me about do you have any questions?”

    Customer: “No, I just want to download some things and it won’t let me without a password.”

    (I proceed to walk the customer through the steps of resetting the computer, adding accounts, changing passwords, and installing software. All this time I have been touching the computer and inputting the customer’s information so that we can get him out the door. He has me download one last thing and right when we are about to finish up he asks me another normal question.)

    Customer: “So, can you show me how to delete files and emails? It has been a long time and this computer is different from my other one.”

    Me: “Sure, not a problem. Do you know where your files are located in the computer?”

    Coworker: *standing next to me* “Here, they might be located in this section.”

    (She looks through the computer, but can’t seem to find anything so I resume my search.)

    Customer: “Well, they are more so movies than files….”

    (I see where this is going and I sort of freeze up.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I was watching a lot of porn last night and I can’t seem to get it off of my computer.”

    (I am now slowly removing my hands from the keyboard and suddenly realizing that it didn’t look like he had cleaned the computer before he brought it in. My coworker’s face has gone pale and she slowly walks away from the department to wash her hands. I stand there wishing I could do the same.)

    Customer: “Yeah, I was watching a lot of stuff last night and I came across some things that I don’t know if I really wanted to see and now I want you to delete them for me.”

    Me: “…”

    Customer: “So can you do that, too?”

    Me: “No… sir. I can’t attempt to access anything of that… er… nature. If something were to pop up unexpectedly I could be fired… or we could be sued.”

    (My coworker has come back and that point and reiterates to the customer what I just said about things of that nature.)

    Customer: “Oh… okay. I really wish you could do that for me….”

    (He proceeds to ask me to do more and more things as I just sit there stunned that he allowed me to touch his computer knowing what he had done. He refused to type in anything after that. He finally ran out of questions to ask me and started putting his computer away. As he walked away I immediately booked it to the bathroom and scoured my hands with soap and water and then proceeded to empty a bottle of hand sanitizer on them. I then walk to tell my manager what happened, so that I could ask him what I should do if that situation ever occurred again.)

    Manager: “The next time that happens, tell him you can’t help him because his computer is now classified as a biohazard.”

    Try To Flush This Customer From Your System

    | Mankato, MN, USA | Bizarre, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am looking at cold medicine when a man stops me.)

    Man: “Excuse me; do you know where the laxatives are?”

    (Assuming he had a good reason for asking a stranger, I show him a few aisles over.)

    Man: “Oh, this can’t be right… What about suppositories?”

    (Very awkward items to ask for, but I find them and try to walk away.)

    Man: “This goes where? Oh god! I am trying this new diet thing… But it can’t be correct.”

    Me: “Well, there are some diets these days that try to ‘flush’ you out, so it’s not uncommon.”

    (Visually perplexed, he sets them back and mumbles:)

    Me: “I better rethink this.”

    (I quickly wander to a completely different section of the store, and shortly after, he came up to me again.)

    Man: “So, do you even work here?”

    Me: “No, sir.”

    Man: “Huh…” *he slowly walks away*

    Date Updated

    | Reading, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I get home from work to find my wife (who gets home before me) has unpacked the shopping which has been delivered.)

    Me: “What do you want for tea?”

    Wife: “We were going to have macaroni but we’ll have to have the chicken biryani instead because it goes out of date today. There were six things which go out today, which is outrageous.”

    Me: “I thought they were supposed to inform you when they gave you things with today’s use-by date?”

    Wife: “So did I. So I rang them up to complain. Such a nice lady, she apologised and gave us a refund on each of these articles.”

    Me: “Nice of her.” *goes to fridge* “What, this chicken Biryani? Doesn’t go out of date until Saturday.”

    (Today is Thursday.)

    Wife: “What! But it distinctly says: use by the 12th.”

    Me: “Yes, and today’s the 10th.”

    Wife: “Oops.”

    (She rang the supermarket back and was really apologetic about it. The woman at the other end was so happy to receive an apologetic phone call she let us keep the refund.)

    Signs You Should Probably Stop Driving

    , | CO, USA | Health & Body, Transportation

    (An elderly customer calls about her policy, which has increased at the most recent renewal due to an accident she’s had pulling out of the drive from her retirement community.)

    Customer: “You know, I’m really a good driver. I just didn’t see the other car. It came from nowhere.”

    Me: I’m sure you wouldn’t have attempted to pull out if you’d seen it.”

    Customer: “Many of my neighbors sold their cars and ride the bus; several routes go right by our complex. I can’t do that, though, because I don’t see so well anymore. I can’t read those signs they have on the buses that say where they are going.”

    Me: “…”

    Stupidly Honest

    | Calgary, AB, Canada | Awesome Customers, Health & Body

    (I’m in a walk-in clinic paying for a doctor’s note, when I overhear an exchange between a man and a nurse about why he’s at the clinic.)

    Nurse: “So, is this something work related?”

    Man: “No, it’s something stupidity related.”

    (At least he was honest.)

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