October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Giving Them A Minor Earful

| IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(I work in an alternative store that sells body jewelry and such. My earlobes are stretched to about the size of a nickel. A woman and her daughter come in to the store.)

Daughter: “Mom, I want to stretch my earlobes like that girl.”

Mom: “Absolutely not! Those look disgusting. You’re not ruining your body like her.”

Me: *standing five feet away* “Well, one pro to ear stretching is that it does not affect your hearing at all… Just so you know.”

Mom: *to daughter* “Well, maybe you can have really small ones.”

Birth Out-Of-Control

| Indianapolis, IN, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque

(I am the patient in this story. I just received the birth control injection that goes in the arm.)

Me: “So, how soon does it take for this to take effect?”

Doctor: “Right now, you’re good to go!”

Me: “Challenge accepted!”

Doctor: “…”

The Vapor Has Parted

| PA, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

(We have a strict no smoking policy. E-cigarettes have been causing problems because they look like cigarettes from far away. We’ve been told to ask the guests to be discreet with them to prevent others thinking it’s okay to smoke but they usually get defensive and berate us anyway.)

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but this is a no smoking environment. Please put that out now.”

Woman: *immediately yelling* “This is an e-cigarette! It’s not smoke! You have no right—”

Me: “I see. Ma’am, I still have to ask you to conceal it because it looks real and we can’t have people thinking it’s okay to smoke around the kids.”

Woman: “It’s not smoke! It’s vapor! You can’t do this!”

(She walks away, still yelling. A little while later she comes back.)

Woman: “I just wanted to apologize to you. You were right. I didn’t even think about what the kids would think seeing me smoking. I’m sorry.” *she walks away*

Me: *to my coworker* “I’m awake, right?”

Blowing A Lot Of Hot Air About A Lot Of Gas

| Vancouver, BC, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(On this particular morning, the other baristas and I have to evacuate the building due to a gas leak on an upper floor. We are outside on the patio, waiting for fire rescue to finish checking it out.)

Customer: *walks up and tries to open the locked door*

Me: “Ma’am! Please do not go in!”

Customer: *pulls on the door again* “Why not? You’re supposed to be open!”

Me: “We had to evacuate the building due to a gas leak!”

Customer: “Well, you should have put up a closed sign!”

Me: “I’m sorry, we were instructed to exit the building as fast as possible so we didn’t have time.”

(The customer leaves in a huff. Two hours later, after we have reopened:)

Customer: “I can’t believe I had to come back because you guys were closed this morning!”

Me: “…Sorry. Again, we had to evacuate the building so we didn’t die.”

Customer: “Hmph!”

Pink Alert!

| Canada | Health & Body

(I’m working as a cashier at a clothing store. A customer brings up his purchase, and I begin to ring it through and fold it.)

Customer: “Do you have any hand sanitizer back there?”

Me: “Yes, you’re welcome to use some if you’d like.”       

Customer: “Oh, no thanks, but you should probably use some. I have pink eye and I hear it’s somewhat contagious.”

Me: “…”

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