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  • Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Peanuts Are High In Irony

    | NJ, USA | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A man comes in with his son, who looks to be about nine years old.)

    Customer: “Hi, do you guys cook anything in peanut oil? My son has a peanut allergy, and he can’t eat anything with peanuts.”

    Manager: “No, we don’t. He can have everything here except the salad, which has almond in it.”

    Customer’s Son: “Ooh dad, chocolate soda!”

    Customer: “What about the chocolate soda?”

    Manager: “Oh no, he can’t have that.”

    Customer: “Sorry, bud, how about the root beer instead?”

    (He orders their food and while they wait, his phone goes off.)

    Customer’s Phone: “IT’S PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME. PEANUT BUTTER JELLY TIME!”

    (He quickly answers it while my coworkers and I are trying not to laugh. He looks a little embarrassed when he hangs up.)

    Customer: “Ha, sorry about that. I guess I should change my ring tone, huh?”

    Me: “No, I loved the irony!”

    Why Nurses Need Hazard Pay

    | IN, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I’m a senior nurse. A patient has been caught leaving her room to go to her car and smoke. After repeated warnings on numerous occasions, her doctor finally draws the line.)

    Doctor: “If she’s well enough to go and smoke, I think she’s well enough to be discharged.”

    (The patient is enraged at this, and starts yelling.)

    Patient: “I need my cigarettes! You’re discriminating against me!”

    (She finally leaves. I get called by another nurse to her former room several minutes later.)

    Nurse: “You have to see this.”

    (The patient’s room is completely smeared with feces; on the bed, in the bathroom sink, all over the walls. There’s even a pile just inside the door that we almost step on.)

    Me: “What kind of person does something like this?! It’s not human!”

    Nurse: “If you’re that upset about not getting your nicotine, something is wrong with you!”

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    I Spell Trouble

    | Atlanta, GA, USA | Health & Body, Language & Words

    (I am making a cleaning appointment for a patient who has an unusual name.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, could you spell that for me?”

    Patient: “It’s ‘D’ as in dog, ‘A’ as in August, ‘I’ as in igloo, ‘J’ as in junkie…”

    (I have to have my coworker finish the call. I can’t breathe because I can’t stop laughing.)

    Rise Above It

    | OH, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am a cashier at a buffet. I am very short and am standing next to another cashier over six feet. Our buffet guests have been standing in line for about two hours for a very popular weekend dinner. I invite the next two guests in line to come pay at my register.)

    Guest: “Well, aren’t you lucky! You get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for over two hours.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Guest: “I said, you’re very lucky to get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for a very long time.”

    (I glance at my co-worker, who is grinning widely at the comment.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sitting down. This is as tall as I get!”

    (The guest turns bright red and starts apologizing. I can’t resist taking off my shoes, which shorten me by another two inches.)

    Me: “Ma’am, without my shoes I’m only this tall.”

    Guest: “Please! You’d better keep your shoes on!”

    Adopting An Apologetic Attitude

    | Boise, ID, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    Me: “Thank you for calling [clinic], this is [my name]. How can I help you this evening?”

    Caller: “Hi, I just needed to speak with a nurse about my son; he’s been coughing really badly this week.”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    (I get her son’s details, and pull up her son’s account in the computer.)

    Me: “Alright, I will have the nurse give you a call back in the next 20 minutes. Is this the best number to reach you back at?”

    (I read her the primary number on the account.)

    Caller: “That is his biological parents’ phone number, but I’ve adopted him and have primary custody. Can you call me back at [this number] tonight?”

    Me: “Of course! Alright the nurse will call you shortly.”

    Caller: “Actually, can you remove that number and put mine as the primary contact number, please?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot do that for you this evening. I do not have access to any of the legal paperwork you would have on file, and I would be uncomfortable changing the information on the account at this time. But I will have the nurse call your number tonight. You can call back in the morning during regular office hours and speak with my supervisor to get that done.”

    (The caller immediately flies into a rage.)

    Caller: “I can’t believe this! I should be the primary contact for the child that I have full custody of! This is absurd! Why can’t you just replace the d*** number?”

    Me: “I’m very sorry. It has to do with the privacy laws surrounding your protected personal and health information, as well as the legalities of custody agreements. I wish there was more I could do, but I am just a receptionist. I have very limited access to your records, and have no way to verify who you are. But for tonight I can definitely have the nurse call you at your own number about your son.”

    Caller: “Whatever. Fine.”

    (The caller hangs up, but calls back again about five minutes later.)

    Caller: “Hey this is [name] again. I’m really sorry about being so short with you earlier. I realized that you were just protecting yourself, as well as my son and his information. You guys do a great job, and we really like coming to your clinic. So, I apologize. I’m just very stressed out with my son being so sick.”

    Me: “Wow, thank you for your apology! But I totally understand where you are coming from.”

    Caller: “It’s just been a rough few days. But thank you for your help, and being so kind while I yelled at you. Keep up the good work!”

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