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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Bright Red For Other Reasons

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    Customer: “Helloooo! I’m at the desk!”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, you just walked in. I was just coming to see to you !”

    Customer: *demanding tone* “I’m wanting go bright red, okay?!”

    Me: “Well, I will take you over first, then we can have a proper consultation.”

    Customer: “Right then!”

    Me: “If you are wanting to go bright red, we would need to strip the colour out because you are jet black.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want that; it hurts when it gets stripped! I want bright red now, from the poster! I’m the customer; I’m always right!”

    Me: “Well, I have been doing hairdressing for two years, and to be honest, it doesn’t hurt because it won’t be on your scalp.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m still right. If you put the red on, it will work!”

    Me: “Okay, then.”

    (After I apply the color to keep her happy…)

    Customer: “Where is my f***ing bright red hair?!”

    Me: “I told you it wouldn’t work. As you said, you’re the customer, and you’re always right!”

    (She ended up keeping her mouth shut. Thankfully, she didn’t come back again!)

    Allergic To Common Sense

    | Citrus Heights, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]! ‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]!” *customer comes up* “Hey, here’s your ‘Strawberries Wild’.”

    Customer: “This doesn’t have strawberries in it, does it? I’m deathly allergic to strawberries.”

    Me: *blink* “…Let me make you a new smoothie…”

    Making A Loud A-pee-l, Part 2

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (As the bookstore I work for is closing down, we have started closing down the bathrooms. At this point, they’ve shut down one stall leaving only one left in the ladies room. I go in and there’s a rather long line for the single stall.)

    Customer #1: *comes running in* “Oh… oh no, is there only one stall?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, but the line is moving pretty quick, though.”

    Customer #1: “Oh no! This won’t do.” *rushes out*

    (A few seconds later, Customer #1 comes back with two large paper coffee cups. She goes over to a corner, sets the cups on the floor, and drops her pants.)

    Customer #1: “Okay, everyone! I really have to go! I have a bladder infection so if I don’t go right now, it won’t end well for me. Nobody look!”

    (As she goes to drop her drawers, another woman comes out of the stall. I happen to be the next in line.)

    Me: “Please! Go ahead of me! Apparently, you need the bathroom more than I do!”

    Customer #1: “Are you sure? You probably have to go back to work. I’m okay with this.”

    Me: “Nope! Just go!”

    Customer #1: “Gee, thanks!” *shuffles into the stall with her pants around her ankles*

    Related:
    Making A Loud A-pee-l

    Two Ap-pee-sements For The Price Of (Number) One

    | OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’ve gone to lunch break about an hour before. A kid is with his mom in the store. I tend to make a note of everyone I see in the store, and greet them as I pass, just out of habit. After lunch, the kid comes up to me.)

    Kid: “Where’s your bathroom?”

    (I look around and find his mother is not with him, or anywhere in sight. Seeing as I can’t make him wait, I decide to take him.)

    Me: “Follow me, please…”

    (On the way I keep an eye out for the mother, but I don’t find her. When we reach the bathroom, I stand outside the door so I can make sure he’s okay. Just as he is finishing up, his mother finally shows up and looks frantic.)

    Mother: “Is my son in there?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. He’ll be out in just a moment.”

    (At this point the kid runs out and hugs his mother.)

    Mother: *to child* “I’m going to tie you up from now on. You gave me a heart attack!” *to me* “Thank you so much.”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’m glad I could help. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping at [store]!”

    Chunder Mountain

    | Los Angeles, CA, USA | Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (I operate a pretty big roller coaster for a ticket run theme park.)

    Father: *to his 10 year old* “Shall we ride?”

    Son: “We just had lunch.”

    Father: “You’re a chicken. I’ll ride it myself!”

    Me: “Sir, just so you know, this ride is bumpy and has a lot of quick stops. It isn’t very fun on a full stomach.”

    Father: “How would you know? Have you ever tried?”

    Me: “No, but I’ve been doing this job for 3 years now.”

    Father: “Well, I’ll show you, and I’ll sit in the very back.”

    Me: “If you say so; the customer is always right. Have fun!”

    (The father boards the ride, and I keep an eye on him. As I predicted, he isn’t going doing so well and is clutching his stomach throughout the ride. When the ride finally jerks to a stop, the puke flies.)

    Son: “Dad, I told you not to do it!”

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