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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Rise Above It

    | OH, USA | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am a cashier at a buffet. I am very short and am standing next to another cashier over six feet. Our buffet guests have been standing in line for about two hours for a very popular weekend dinner. I invite the next two guests in line to come pay at my register.)

    Guest: “Well, aren’t you lucky! You get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for over two hours.”

    Me: “Excuse me?”

    Guest: “I said, you’re very lucky to get to sit down while we had to stand in that line for a very long time.”

    (I glance at my co-worker, who is grinning widely at the comment.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m not sitting down. This is as tall as I get!”

    (The guest turns bright red and starts apologizing. I can’t resist taking off my shoes, which shorten me by another two inches.)

    Me: “Ma’am, without my shoes I’m only this tall.”

    Guest: “Please! You’d better keep your shoes on!”

    Adopting An Apologetic Attitude

    | Boise, ID, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    Me: “Thank you for calling [clinic], this is [my name]. How can I help you this evening?”

    Caller: “Hi, I just needed to speak with a nurse about my son; he’s been coughing really badly this week.”

    Me: “Sure thing!”

    (I get her son’s details, and pull up her son’s account in the computer.)

    Me: “Alright, I will have the nurse give you a call back in the next 20 minutes. Is this the best number to reach you back at?”

    (I read her the primary number on the account.)

    Caller: “That is his biological parents’ phone number, but I’ve adopted him and have primary custody. Can you call me back at [this number] tonight?”

    Me: “Of course! Alright the nurse will call you shortly.”

    Caller: “Actually, can you remove that number and put mine as the primary contact number, please?”

    Me: “Unfortunately, I cannot do that for you this evening. I do not have access to any of the legal paperwork you would have on file, and I would be uncomfortable changing the information on the account at this time. But I will have the nurse call your number tonight. You can call back in the morning during regular office hours and speak with my supervisor to get that done.”

    (The caller immediately flies into a rage.)

    Caller: “I can’t believe this! I should be the primary contact for the child that I have full custody of! This is absurd! Why can’t you just replace the d*** number?”

    Me: “I’m very sorry. It has to do with the privacy laws surrounding your protected personal and health information, as well as the legalities of custody agreements. I wish there was more I could do, but I am just a receptionist. I have very limited access to your records, and have no way to verify who you are. But for tonight I can definitely have the nurse call you at your own number about your son.”

    Caller: “Whatever. Fine.”

    (The caller hangs up, but calls back again about five minutes later.)

    Caller: “Hey this is [name] again. I’m really sorry about being so short with you earlier. I realized that you were just protecting yourself, as well as my son and his information. You guys do a great job, and we really like coming to your clinic. So, I apologize. I’m just very stressed out with my son being so sick.”

    Me: “Wow, thank you for your apology! But I totally understand where you are coming from.”

    Caller: “It’s just been a rough few days. But thank you for your help, and being so kind while I yelled at you. Keep up the good work!”

    Disabling The Able Disabled

    | Wichita, KS, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I have been in a wheelchair since age three. Despite this, I can push my own cart just fine while wheeling myself around. A customer in the store notices me.)

    Customer: “Ma’am, do you need help? One of my kids can help you push your cart.”

    Me: “No, thank you; I am doing just fine.”

    Customer: “But you’re disabled! You can’t do anything on your own!”

    (The customer tries to grab the cart. I hold onto it.)

    Me: “I can do it just fine on my own, thank you!”

    Customer: “See, that’s the problem these days! You people not accepting help!”

    Emerging Non Emergencies Reaching Emergency Levels

    | AZ, USA | Extra Stupid, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I work at the check-in counter for the ER. A patient comes in, dragging her very embarrassed teenage daughter behind her.)

    Me: “Hi! How can I help you?”

    Patient: “Yeah, I’m bringing in my daughter.”

    Me: “And what brings you to the emergency room today, ma’am?”

    Patient: “My daughter.”

    Me: “I see. What is wrong with your daughter that brings you in tonight?”

    Patient: “Her monthly is irregular.”

    Me: “So, you want to bring her to the emergency room for irregular periods?”

    Patient: “Duh!”

    Me: “Have you taken her to her family doctor?”

    Patient: “No!”

    (As we’re not legally allowed to turn away any patient, I begin the registration.)

    Patient: “And me, too.”

    Me: “You want to check yourself in, too, for irregular periods?”

    Patient: “No! God!”

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. What are we checking you in for?”

    Patient: “Can’t you see it?!”

    Me: “Ma’am?”

    Patient: “My face!”

    (She shoves her face up close to mine.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry but you’ll need to be a little more specific.”

    Patient: “I got ‘the zits’!”

    (Her face looks fine. I see one blemish that doesn’t even look like a zit.)

    Me: “So, you came to the… emergency room… for adult acne?”

    Patient: “YES! God, what are you, stupid?”

    Me: “And have you seen your doctor about this?”

    Patient: “No! This is my doctor!”

    Me: “Ma’am, this is the emergency room. We treat emergencies. We are not your regular doctor.”

    Patient: “Yes, you are. FIX IT!”

    Making A Spectacle Of Herself

    | Middlebury, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (I normally wear contacts. I am in a rush before work and just put my glasses on. A regular customer comes through later in the morning.)

    Me: “Hi! Just a medium today?”

    Regular: “Just the medium—hey, you’re wearing glasses! You never wore them before.”

    Me: “That’s because I always wear my contacts, ma’am.”

    Regular: “Don’t lie to me. You don’t need those!”

    Me: “I’ve needed glasses since I was nine.”

    Regular: “You know, I’m sick of you ‘hipster’ kids wearing ‘nerd’ glasses for fun! There are those of us that need them, and don’t appreciate what you’re doing!”

    (I motion to my black plastic frames with their small rectangular lenses.)

    Me: “I’m not hipster, and my lenses are too small to be nerdy.”

    (The regular reaches across the counter, and grabs the glasses off my face.)

    Regular: “You kids need to realize glasses aren’t just a fashion accessory!”

    Me: “Ma’am, please give those back.”

    (The regular puts them on, then flings them to the floor when she realizes exactly how strong they are. She picks them up and scratches a lens as she tries to figure out if they’re real. She throws them on the counter, breaking off one of the side arms.)

    Regular: “What the h*** is wrong with those? Why are the lenses so weird?”

    Me: “As I said, ma’am, I’ve needed glasses since I was nine. Actually, my vision is so bad that I legally cannot drive or even work without wearing vision correction. You just broke my only pair of glasses, which the local vision center does not carry anymore. How would you like to repay me for these?”

    (The regular takes her coffee and pretty much runs. My manager sees the whole thing on camera from the office, and gets her information from the next time she comes in. Because we have proof she had destroyed my property, she didn’t fight handing me a check to cover the cost of a whole new pair of glasses.)

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