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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Making A Loud A-pee-l

    | Portland, OR, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body, Wild & Unruly

    (We are a tiny restaurant that just so happens to be at the end of a large parade route. So, we often get lot of requests for a public restroom, which we do not have. One day, a customer comes running in holding his young daughter.)

    Customer: “Quick! Which way to your restroom?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but our restroom is for customers only.”

    Customer: “You son of a b****! My daughter needs to go now!”

    (At this point, his daughter becomes scared and starts peeing herself.)

    Customer: *to me* “LOOK AT WHAT YOU DID!”

    (The customer runs out, leaving a wet trail behind for me to mop up.)

    Loss Of Hearing Vs Lack Of Respect

    | MA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (Several months ago, I suddenly lost most of my hearing in one ear. I’m a singer and this has been devastating to me. Thanks to medication, it’s almost back to normal, but I have trouble with background noise and I’m very sensitive about the subject. I’m in my early 30s, and most people think I’m several years younger. I’m giving a tour of our winery, and one visitor has been very difficult through the whole tour. I’m at the last stop on the tour and explaining how the machines in the room work. The visitor starts motioning at me, but I have no idea what these motions mean.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, did you have a question?”

    Visitor: *mumbles something I can’t hear at all*

    Me: “I’m sorry, I can’t quite hear you, what did you say?”

    Visitor: “Could you speak louder?! I can’t hear you at all.”

    Me: *laughing a bit* “That’s a little ironic that I couldn’t hear you asking me to speak up because you couldn’t hear me.”

    (Apparently, she doesn’t see the humor in this.)

    Visitor: “You young people! You have no respect! You have no idea how it is not to be able to hear when you’re old! You should be in my shoes and not be able to hear well.”

    Me: “Actually ma’am, I’m hard of hearing myself. I know I’m not old, but I know what it’s like to not be able to hear. At least you were fortunate enough to have good hearing for most of your life.”

    Visitor: *a little taken aback* “Well, you just don’t… you don’t know—”

    Me: “I do know. And this concludes our tour. The exit is right here.”

    (She hurries right by me to leave and doesn’t make eye contact at all. However, the other members of the group pause to thank me for the tour and the information. One girl even said she wanted to give me a drink and a hug to try to make up for that difficult visitor. I appreciated that comment more than I can say!)

    Pray She Doesn’t Order The Number Two

    | ON, Canada | Bad Behavior, Bizarre, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A woman and her two kids come in looking for the washrooms. An employee tells her that they are outside and around the corner, near the drive-through. She leaves to go find them.)

    Coworker: *to me* “Oh my God! Come see this!”

    Me: “Yeah?”

    (I walk over to the drive-through window and poke my head out. There, in the middle of the drive-through, is the woman holding one of her kids up horizontally as the child urinates on the drive-through in front of me while holding up several vehicles. She looks up and sees me, looks me straight in the eye the entire time, and finishes without a word.)

    Me: *to my coworkers* “I’m going for break.”

    Kids Will Send Any Parent To The Funny Pharm

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am taking a refill order over the phone.)

    Me: “Thank you for calling [pharmacy]. How can I help you?”

    Customer: “I need to refill a couple of prescriptions. This one I have the number for.”

    (She proceeds to give me the number, and while I am running the prescription through her insurance I hear some kids playing in the background.)

    Me: “Okay, so that one went through just fine. What is the next one?”

    Customer: “I don’t have the number, but can you look it up for me? It’s my birth control.”

    (I look in the customer’s file and sure enough it’s there. But while I am running it, the playing in the background has turned into a serious screaming and fighting match.)

    Customer: *embarrassed* “And this is why I am refilling the birth control. Can’t you tell?”

    The Less-Errant Of Two Evils

    | The Netherlands | Health & Body, Language & Words

    (I’m a cashier at a supermarket and am checking out a customer. All cigarette packages have a warning on them.)

    Customer: “I’d like [brand] cigarettes please.”

    (I grab a package.)

    Customer: “Oh no, not that one. I don’t like the text on it.”

    Me: “Oh, you mean the, ‘Smoking is deadly’ text?

    Customer: “Yes, get me one with a different text.”

    (I grab another package.)

    Me: “Okay… how about, ‘Smoking leads to a slow painful death’?”

    Customer: “No, I don’t like that one either.”

    Me: “Is, ‘Smoking increases the chance to get lung cancer’ fine, then?”

    Customer: “Ah yes, that one is good!”

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