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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Gonna Bay For It Now

    | Nashville, TN, USA | Health & Body, Pets & Animals, Top

    (I work as a receptionist for a vet clinic. When people are thinking about adding an animal to their life, we always recommend they do a lot of research into the breed, so they can choose the pet that’s best for them, both for their sakes and the pets. One morning, a woman calls in, frantic.)

    Client: “I have to see a vet as soon as possible. I think there’s something horribly wrong with my beagle puppy!”

    Me: “Okay, ma’am, I’m pencilling you in. Can I ask, what are his symptoms?”

    Client: “I’m not sure exactly, but he’s running around the house making this horrible sound, like he’s in pain. I don’t know what to do!”

    Me: “Alright, well just take a deep breath. Can you get a good look at him? Does he have any injuries, or any other symptoms? Is he vomiting?”

    Client: “No, he’s just making this awful sound! I think he’s-” *she’s interrupted by the ‘horrible’ sound* “There! That’s what he’s been doing all morning!”

    Me: “Um, ma’am, how old is your beagle?”

    Client: “Six months, why?”

    Me: “Ah. Well, it sounds to me like he’s baying.”

    Client: “What’s that? Is it serious?”

    Me: “No, ma’am. Baying is a distinctive type of howl that hunting dogs make. When hunting breeds reach a certain age, their voice drops, the same way a human’s does, and they begin to bay when they’re excited. It sounds like your puppy just found his bay.”

    Client: “But he’s not a hunting dog! I don’t even hunt!”

    Me: “Beagles are a hunting breed, ma’am. They have been used to hunt for centuries. Baying is instinctive.”

    Client: “Well, make him stop!”

    Me: “I… what?”

    Client: “Make him stop making that noise, it’s terrible!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I can’t… make him stop. He’s doing what he’s bred to do. It sounds like he’s just excited with the new noise he can make and he’s showing it off. He’ll probably use it less once the newness has worn off.”

    Client: “Less?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am.”

    Client: “But…” *pause* “He’s going to do this forever?”

    Me: “Welcome to owning a beagle, ma’am.”

    Needs To Take A Chill Pill

    | Portland, OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I’m at a chain company pharmacy/mini-stores getting a bottle of water. As I pass by the pharmacy, I witness an exchange between a very burly, muscular customer and a short, skinny female clerk.)

    Customer: “I need to refill my prescription.”

    Clerk: “Well, I’m sorry, but according to our systems, you have no refills left. You’ll need to contact your doctor and get a new prescription.”

    Customer: “What?! I want my pills. Give me my pills!”

    (The exchange continues for a while, with the customer getting more and more agitated. The clerk appears to be frightened and close to tears. The commotion is drawing the attention of the people around.)

    Customer: “You dumb b****, are you f***ing stupid? Give me my pills or there will be a problem.”

    (At this point, I step between him and the clerk behind the counter.)

    Me: “Look buddy, she already said that she’s not giving you pills and told you what to do. So you better just listen to her, leave, and stop making an a** of yourself.”

    (For a moment he looks like he is going to hit me, then just stomps away swearing under his breath.)

    Me: *to the clerk* “I’m sorry you had to deal with that.”

    Clerk: “It’s alright. Thank you for that. Here, that water is on me, okay?”

    Why Working Retail Isn’t A-pee-ling

    | California, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (It’s the holiday time and our store is very busy. There must be 40 people in the store, plus their children. One of the seasonal help comes up to me looking afraid.)

    Coworker: ”So, um… there was this women, and she um, she took her son over to a corner and well… she um had him pee in a bottle.”

    Me: “As long as he didn’t pee on the merchandise, then I don’t care.”

    Coworker: ”What should we do? I mean, who does that?”

    Me: *shrugs* “I don’t know!”

    (I investigate, and sure enough there is pee all over the floor. We clean it up best we can, but people roll their strollers and walk right through it. This is not the first time kids have peed in our store, but at least it wasn’t a full diaper left under a rounder!)

    They Don’t Know That Band Aid Feeds The World

    , | OK, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (A customer pulls up into the drive thru.)

    Me: “Hi, can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes. Do you have a grilled chicken salad?”

    (I list off all our chicken salads.)

    Customer: “Yes, I’ll take the BLT salad. Does that come with lettuce?”

    Me: “Yes. It’s a salad with lettuce.”

    Customer: “Okay. One BLT grilled salad with lettuce.”

    (I tell her the total, and she pulls up to the window. I’d cut myself earlier in the day on my finger, so I have to wear a band-aid. I’m only working with money, and try to keep it out of sight of customers as much as possible.)

    Me: “Your total is $5.85.”

    (The customer glances at my finger when I push the button to see her total. She looks like I’d just killed someone right in front of her.)

    Customer: “Oh. My gosh. I’m sorry. That’s so gross!”

    (She drops her change from spazzing out.)

    Customer:“J-just take the twenty and forget the change!”

    Me: “You sure? I can wait.”

    Customer: “Y-yes!” *shoos me away in disgust*

    (I give her the change, and close the window. I tell my coworkers it would be best if someone else handed out her food. My coworker hands the salad out to the spazzing customer.)

    Coworker: “Did you see her? ”

    Me: “No?”

    Coworker: “She was staring at you and making praying gestures and talking to herself!”

    His Opinion Carries No Weights

    | KY, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Top

    (My friend and I are both overweight, so we decide to start going to the gym to lose weight and get in shape for the first time in our lives. She is a bit self-conscious and is hesitant to go at first because she is afraid others will stare. After a couple of weeks, she stops worrying because most people at our gym go about their own business. We’d never had a problem until one day, when she is jogging on the treadmill.)

    Rude Member: “Hey, fat b****! Why don’t you get off the treadmill before you break it?”

    My Friend: *stops jogging* “What?”

    Rude Member: “Get the f*** off the treadmill! Your fat a** is going to break it! Let someone who weighs less than Shamu use it! Just go away and take up space at [fast food restaurant], where you belong.”

    (My friend, looking like she’s about to cry, steps off the machine.)

    Rude Member: “You fatties are a waste of space! You just eat everything in sight and lounge about, getting fatter, and then you complain about your weight. Why don’t you ever do something about it?”

    My Friend: “Excuse me?! You just told me to get my fat a** off of a treadmill, where I was exercising, and go to [fast food restaurant]. Then you have the audacity to tell me that I only sit around eating and not doing anything to lose weight? Get the h*** out of my face, you f***ing jerk!” *gets back on her treadmill and resumes jogging*

    Rude Member: “I hope they charge you double when you break the machines, you cow!” *stomps away*

    (Later, I saw the manager tearing up the rude member’s gym membership right in front of him. He had been informed of the whole incident by several other members!)

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