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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    He’s Not Exactly Professor X(Ray)

    | UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (An elderly man in a wheelchair comes into the clinic waiting room accompanied by his adult son. This clinic is held upstairs.)

    Nurse: “Mr. [Man]?”

    Man: “Yep.”

    Nurse: “You’ll need an x-ray before you see [Consultant].”

    Man: “I’m not having no x-ray. I’ve had enough x-rays!”

    Nurse: “Well, [Consultant] has requested a new x-ray before he sees you today.”

    Man: “No, I’m not having no x-ray.”

    Nurse: “Did you want me to cancel your appointment today, then?”

    Man: “No, I’m here. I want my appointment.”

    Nurse: Well, [Consultant] can’t do anything unless you have a new x-ray.”

    Man: “Fine! I’ll have the x-ray.”

    Nurse: “Okay, then. If you’ll just take the lift to go downstairs to x-ray—”

    Man: “Down? I’ve just come up in the lift! I’m not going down again! I’ve had enough of this: up in the lift, down in the lift. I don’t like lifts! I’m not going down in any lift. You can’t make me.”

    Son: “I reckon you’ll be staying here all night, then, Dad. We’re on the second floor.”

    Transcending Bigotry

    | Yorkshire, England, UK | Awesome Workers, Health & Body, Top

    (I am in a bank after losing my purse, looking visibly distressed, in the queue after dealing with a customer service agent that was no help.)

    Bank Teller: “May I help you, sir?”

    Me: “I’m sorry, but I’m not a ‘sir.’”

    Bank Teller: “Oh. Do you mind if… I… uh…”

    Me: “Ask if I’m transgender?”

    Bank Teller: “Yes.”

    Me: “Yes, I am. I have just lost all my cards, and I can’t get replacements issued, because they’re saying I’m not who I say I am.”

    Bank Teller: “That’s fine. Someone I’m close to faces similar issues to you. If you can just confirm some security details, I can get you some new cards and give you some money from your account.”

    Me: “Brilliant, thank you.”

    (After confirming my details:)

    Bank Teller: “I have an idea; I could place a note on your account. It may not help, but next time you could mention that if they look in the customer notes that you are a transgender person. Here:” *shows me some text on the screen*

    Me: “That’s perfect. Thank you.”

    Bank Teller: “No worries. You shouldn’t be faced with more problems when you’re already having a bad day.”

    (Thank you, anonymous bank teller. You restored my faith in humanity!)

    From Mumble To Stumble To Rumble To Humble

    | USA | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I have an inner ear condition and am hearing impaired but not really to the degree that I need a hearing aid. An older woman approaches my line.)

    Me: “Hello! How are you today?”

    Customer: *mumbles while looking at the floor*

    Me: “Um… I’m sorry. What did you say?”

    Customer: *sighs and looks to the right, still away from me, mumbling again*

    Me: “Ah, okay.”

    (I ring up her items and tell her the total. She holds up three different cards and mumbles again, but I can read her lips to understand, ‘not enough.’)

    Me: “I’m sorry. I didn’t quite catch that. Did you say you want to use all three cards?”

    (She nods and rolls her eyes, then swipes the first card.)

    Me: “All right, and how much did you want on that one?”

    Customer: *mumbles into the card reader*

    Me: “I’m sorry. What did you say?”

    (She mumbles once more, but since this is the third time I asked her to repeat herself and I’m feeling embarrassed, I just let the transaction run through as if she was using one card because I have no idea how much she wanted on there. The card is, of course, declined and she shouts wordlessly.)

    Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. Could you swipe it again, please? And I’m sorry, but how much did you say you wanted on that card?”

    (AGAIN she mumbles, with her head bowed so low I can’t even see her lips to try to read them. By that point, I’ve had enough.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but I really need you to speak up, please. I’m hearing impaired and you’re speaking rather softly. I can’t hear you at all.”

    Customer: “You lying b****!”

    Me: *taken aback* “Excuse me?!”

    Customer: “Lying about being deaf is no excuse for your irresponsibility! You’re young! You’re not deaf. If you were, you’d have an earpiece in! You just listen to your music too loud; all you kids do. Keep that up, and you WILL be deaf before long!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I have [inner ear condition]. I have constant, loud ringing in my ears. Several times per day I lose all hearing in one or both of my ears for anywhere between three seconds to three hours. You’re right; I’m most likely going to completely lose my hearing before I’m 40 because there’s no cure or real treatment for it beyond surgery that might not even work. So please, while I still can hear you at all, could you speak up just a little?”

    (The customer stares at me, red-faced and silent, for a few moments. Finally she swipes the card again and then looks at me.)

    Customer: *loudly* “I’d like $10 on this card, please.”

    Marrying Together Archaic Ideas

    | Australia | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners

    (I have a long-time repeat client, old but quite nice. As I am finishing up going through the paperwork and vouchers for his identical biannual holiday with his wife, I inform him I won’t be able to assist with his next trip as I’d be on maternity leave but I’ll pass his file over to my manager and she’ll be quite happy to assist.)

    Client: *blank look* “But you’re not… married.”

    Me: “Well… no…?”

    Client: “How can you be going on maternity leave, then?”

    Me: “Because I’m having a baby?”

    Client: But you’re not MARRIED?!”

    Me: “Uh, I know, but I appear to be pregnant and as I am having a child I need maternity leave…”

    Client: “BUT. YOU’RE. NOT. MARRIED. How can you be PREGNANT?”

    (Every week for the next seven months he came into my office, sat in front of me, and implored me to go and get married, to anyone – maybe that man over there? – because I needed to be married to have a child. Well, I have a child and I’m still not married. Occasionally he goes back into my old store and asks if I’m married yet.)

    The Argument Has No Legs To Stand On

    , | Indianapolis, IN, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Top

    (The marathon was earlier this morning. I am in line behind a customer who ran in it. The cashier is sitting down, while serving patrons.)

    Customer: “I don’t have time for this. My legs are killing me. I ran the marathon this morning, and you can’t even bother standing at a cash register for one day!”

    (The cashier wheels himself out from behind the register. It becomes clear he has no legs.)

    Cashier: “P***y.”

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