• A Pain In The Nugget
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  • October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Some Blood Is Thicker Than Others

    | MO, USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body

    (I am a nurse. At the hospital where I work, we take care of many patients who are from small, rural towns and are lacking in education. In this situation, the patient needs a blood transfusion. I am teaching the patient and family about the process.)

    Me: “I will call the blood bank and get the blood ready to go. When I have the bag, I’ll come hook it up to her IV to infuse it. I’ll be monitoring her vital signs throughout the transfusion.”

    Family Member: “How does the blood know where to go?”

    Me: “Excuse me? I’m not quite sure what you mean.”

    Family Member: “The blood. What tells it where to go?”

    Me: “Well it goes into the veins, through her IV catheter.”

    Family Member: “How does it know where to go from there?”

    Me: “That’s where blood is. In your veins.”

    Family Member: “Oh! I’ve always wondered how that worked.”

    (Later, after I have received the blood, I am priming the IV tubing with saline. Saline is essentially salt water, so it is clear.)

    Family Member: “Is that the blood?”

    Me: “…No, this is just saline to prime the tubing.”

    Family Member: “Oh, good! I thought my mom was getting some new kind of white blood!”

    Me: *face palm*

    Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 4

    | NSW, Australia | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I clean houses for a living. This particular client was a little old lady wanting a once off spring clean.)

    Lady: “Would you like a tea or coffee?”

    Me: “No thank you, but I will take a glass of water if you are offering.”

    Lady: “Sure! I will be right back.”

    (She comes back with a glass of water and a slice of cake.)

    Lady: “Would you like some cake? It’s really nice!”

    Me: *eyeing it off* “Does it have gluten in it?”

    Lady: “Oh, no! I don’t put any in my cakes. Try it; it’s really quite nice.”

    Me: *not entirely convinced* “Did you put flour in it?”

    Lady: “Of course I did… It’s a cake.”

    Me: *sighing* “Flour has wheat in it; therefore it has gluten in it. I’m gluten intolerant, sorry.”

    Lady: “Are you sure?! It’s really very nice.”

    Me: “I’m sure it’s quite lovely but it’s not worth the pain.”

    Lady: “Are you sure?”

    Me: *sigh* “Yes, I’m sure.”

    Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 3
    Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought, Part 2
    Free Of Gluten, Free Of Thought

    Not Just The Tire Causing Skid Marks

    | Whitehorse, YK, Canada | Health & Body

    (An elderly man comes into our shop for a tire repair. I start the work order and provide his keys to a tire tech. I let him know that he should give us about 20-25 minutes before his car will be ready.)

    Customer: “Oh, that’s okay. I have to go use your washroom and I’ll be in there for quite a while”

    Foul Weather Today

    | Norway | Norway | Health & Body

    (I am a nurse helping a patient using the toilet. He is 92 years old. I come to help him get dressed and off the toilet.)

    Me: “So… did you manage to do what you were going to?”

    Patient: “There was lots of wind, but no precipitation!”

    Next Time Will Nose Better

    | Melbourne, VIC, Australia | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (Due to my extreme social awkwardness, I am the bad customer in this story! I work in a call centre and am mentally programmed to use a certain phone manner. On this day, I am wandering along my local shopping strip when I decide I want to get my nose pierced. I walk into a tattoo parlour.)

    Me: “Hi! I’m looking to get my nose pierced.”

    Tattooist: “Oh, our piercer isn’t at work today, but she’ll be back tomorrow.”

    Me: “Oh, that’s okay. Today is my only day off, but thank you for your help.”

    (I walk outside and search for piercers on my smartphone. A location nearby shows up, and I call the number.)

    Me: “Hi! I’m looking to make an appointment to get my nose pierced.”

    Voice On The Phone: “Uh… our piercer isn’t working today.”

    (I suddenly realise I’ve called the exact same shop I had just been into, and am now standing outside of in full view. I am so embarrassed that I panic and forget what to say.)

    Me: “Oh… uh… thank you for calling! Goodbye!”

    (I abruptly ended the call and turned to walk away, but accidentally made prolonged, awkward eye contact with the tattooist through the shop window before I finally left. At least I might have given him something to laugh about!)

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