November Theme Of The Month: Black Friday!

Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

A Big Fat Irony

| Denmark, Aarhus | Bad Behavior, Food & Drink, Health & Body

Customer: “Hi, I would like one skinny latte, please. No sugar.”

Me: “I am sorry, ma’am. We don’t have nonfat milk, but I can make you a latte with skimmed milk which only has 0.5% fat.”

Customer: “Ugh, no thanks. That is still too much.”

Me: “Well, I am sorry, ma’am. Is there anything else I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes, I would like a chocolate cream cake, and can you cut it into pieces so I can eat it in the bus?”

Living In Her Own Bubble(Gum)

| Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work as a cashier. A mother and daughter approach my till, and I can hear them arguing.)

Daughter: “I want the gum!”

Mother: “You can’t have it.”

Daughter: “But I want it!”

Mother: “Tough. Chewing gum is a filthy habit, and I won’t let you start.” *turns to me* “Twenty [Brand] cigarettes, please.”

Blow That Idea Right Out The Window

| Montréal, QC, Canada | Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body, Hotels & Lodging

(I work at one of the very few hotels that still has smoking rooms and so have to ask every guest who does not mention his or her preference up-front which type of room they want.)

Me: “Would you like a smoking or non-smoking room”

Guest: *with what looks like a genuinely confused look on his face* “Well… what’s the difference?”

Me: “Uh… you are allowed to smoke in a smoking room. If you smoke in a non-smoking room, we charge you a $250.00 fine for doing so.”

Guest: *visibly hesitant* “Really… uh… hmm!… And what is the difference in rates between the smoking and non-smoking?”

Me: *still maintaining my professionally patient tone of voice* “Smoking rooms are only $5.00 more per day, sir.”

Guest: *seemingly thinking it over much longer then he should need to* “How about if I take the non-smoking room and blow the smoke out the window? You wouldn’t charge me for that would you?”

(Wanting to bang my head on the counter, I stop short of it by simply nodding my head ‘Yes’ with a most serious look on my face.)

Guest: “Oh!… I… guess I’ll take the smoking room, then.”

Me: “WISE choice, sir!”

A Card-Carrying Member Of The Idiot Club

| VA, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

Me: “Will this be everything?”

Customer: “Yes.” *watches as I pick up each item, handle it to turn it over, scan it and place it in a bag*

Me: “Your total is [total]. You can slide your card now, right there.”

Customer: *slides card*

Me: “Oh, is it credit? May I see the card?”

Customer: *holds the card in front of my face and waves it back and forth, so I can’t see it*

Me: “Uh…”

Customer: “You can SEE it, but you can’t touch it.” *patronizing smile* “That’s how GERMS get passed around.”

Me: “Well, can you hold it still for just a moment?”

Customer: “I don’t want to catch anything…” *holds card still… and continues lecturing about germs*

Me: “Okay, now you just sign there on the pin pad and hit ‘Done.'”

Customer: “You have to be very careful!” *grabs pin pad and attached pen (which has, by that afternoon, been handled by hundreds of people)* “I never let anyone touch my cards!”

Not In Good Insurance Company, Part 2

MN, USA | Health & Body, Money

(I work in the business office of a specialized eye care clinic. We often get calls from people who are confused by their statements, since we switched to a new system halfway through the year. )

Me: “[Business], this is [My Name]. How can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, I’m calling about the bill I received. I already paid this, and you fools are still charging me!”

Me: “Let me take a look at your account. Can I have your name, please?”

(She gives me the name of the account, and I pull it up in my system.)

Me: “It looks like the bill is due to an office visit that was done in November; the insurance company did not cover the whole cost.”

Woman: “See, that’s the thing, you idiot. I wasn’t supposed to have that visit. I just needed a referral, and the stupid doctor forced me to come in. I don’t think I should have to pay.”

Me: “Well, it does look like a full exam was done, and so you would need to pay for services that you received.”

Woman: “Are you a f****** r****d? I just said that I shouldn’t have to pay for it because I didn’t want to come in! Jesus, I can’t believe how stupid you people are! The damn doctor made me come in to get my damn referral, and I shouldn’t have to pay because he just wants to make more money off him. Reverse the charges right now!”

Me: “I’m sorry to hear that, but from what I’m able to see, it does look like services were performed, and not just a referral. I’ll need to check with my supervisor and the doctor to see what we can do.”

(I explain the situation to my supervisor, and we both go talk to the doctor. I tell him what’s going on, and give him the name. He sighs.)

Doctor: “Obviously she thinks I don’t remember the visit, but I do. She skipped four visits in a row, so I didn’t know she needed a referral until she finally came back in and I checked her out. Tell her to send a check in and pay us, for God’s sake.”

Me: *I call the woman back, to tell her the outcome* “So, I did speak to the doctor and my supervisor, and that visit will need to be paid for, as the doctor was not able to refer you until he could examine your eyes.”

Woman: “Well, I suppose I’ll arrange for some money to be sent in. But I’m going to tell my insurance company about you and your ways!”

Not In Good Insurance Company