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  • July Theme Of The Month: Great Timing!

    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themselves, Part 5

    | Stamford, CT, USA | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I’m deaf in one ear, and what makes it worse at this time is that I have an ear infection. This makes it extremely difficult to take customer’s drinks correctly, especially if they are saying them very fast. I have only asked this customer once to repeat what the milk and syrup were.)

    Customer: “Why do they have the least experienced person taking orders? How many times do I have to repeat myself?!”

    Me: “I apologize, ma’am; I’m hearing impaired. I was only asking once again to make sure I charged you correctly and that your drink won’t be made wrong.”

    Customer: *flustered* “Well, then you should have to wear a sign or something to let people know that you can’t hear.”

    (The next customer in the queue chimes decides to chime in.)

    Next Customer: “Yeah, because the poor girl probably doesn’t feel embarrassed enough about having you yell at her and having to put up with a**holes like you.”

    Customer: “Excuse me?! How dare you! Forget my drink! I’ll just go somewhere else!”

    (The customer storms out.)

    Next Customer: “Wow, I’m so sorry about that. Do people normally act like that here?”

    Me: “She’s a regular…”

    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 4
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Himself, Part 3
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Themself, Part 2
    Has A Problem Espresso-ing Herself

    The Answer Came From The Gut

    | FL, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “Was everything all right? Did everyone enjoy their meals?”

    Customer: “The food was excellent. My digestive system is dutifully converting it into feces even as we speak!”

    Me: “That’s… super.”

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4

    | Rotherham, England, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (The pregnancy clinic is running at the same time as normal GP hours. The waiting room contains three pregnant women, including myself, and a tiny very old lady.)

    Old Lady: “Why is SHE going in now? I was here first!”

    Receptionist: “She’s seeing the midwife.”

    Old Lady: “But I was here first!”

    Receptionist: “Yes, but the midwife only deals with pregnant ladies.”


    Receptionist: “No, but you aren’t pregnant are you?”

    Old Lady: “I don’t see how that’s any of your business!”

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
    Cause For Pregnant Pause

    Should Deaf-initely Mess With Him

    | Mansfield, MA, USA | Bigotry, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Love/Romance

    (I have grown up with selective mutism, and have learned to speak using ASL. This is not apparent now, as I can now speak perfectly in public. My boyfriend on the other hand, is deaf.)

    Me: “Welcome to [Store Name]; how can I help you?”

    Customer: “Yes, I’d like a [Signature Creation].”

    Me: “Right away.”

    Customer: “Oh, I’m allergic to all nuts; can you make sure nothing touches?”

    Me: “Of course, let me go get some clean spades.”

    (I leave and go to the back. My boyfriend visits me at work for the first time as we live a bit apart. He tries to order something from the menu and is frustrated that my coworker cannot understand him. He has never done speech therapy so he cannot speak. I come back to the front.)

    Customer: “Freak! What are you even doing here making those noises? No one wants your kind here. Get out! F****** freak.”

    (The coworker is stunned, and is not stepping in, so I step in.)

    Me: “You cannot speak to another patron like that. I’m going to have to ask you to leave.”

    Customer: “I’m doing this for all of you. Why would you want this freak around?”

    (I turn to my boyfriend and sign to him that I will take care of this, even though it’s kind of a deaf culture no-no.)

    Me: “I am not required to answer that question. I am, however requiring that you leave.”

    (I go around through the back and out to the front where the customer is still causing issues. We are able to escort him out, but he stands at the glass windows glaring at us.)

    Boyfriend: *signing* “We should really mess with him.”

    (My boyfriend kisses me, and the customer goes ballistic until the police come and arrest him. I stopped working there, but my wonderful intelligent and deaf man and I are now engaged to be married.)

    The Grandmother Of All Threats

    | CO, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in my stepdad’s medical office. I am about 10 minutes late due to a car accident delaying traffic. There is an older patient waiting outside the office.)

    Patient: *testily* “Why are you late?”

    Me: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. There was an accident on my way in delaying traffic. Let me unlock the door, and I’ll help you.”

    Patient: “Well, I was going to leave, but I’ll see Dr. [Name] now.”

    Me: “Once again, I’m very sorry, ma’am. He’s not in his office today. He’s doing school testing.”

    Patient: “This is unacceptable. Your sign says you’re open from 10-4 on Thursdays!”

    Me: “Ma’am, do you have an appointment?”

    Patient: “No, you stupid girl! I don’t need an appointment!”

    Me: “Well, our sign also says we don’t take walk-ins. So yes, you do need one.”

    Patient: “This is outrageous! Why can’t I see the doctor?”

    Me: “I just told you that, ma’am. Now I can schedule an appointment for you, or—”

    Patient: “You call the doctor and get him back here right now! If you don’t, I’ll have my grandson come by and beat you up!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I think you need to leave.”

    Patient: “Why? I’m paying you!”

    Me: “Because you just threatened to have me assaulted. If you do not leave immediately, I will call hospital security and have you escorted out.”

    (She doesn’t leave. She calls her grandson, who apparently turns down her offer for him to come and hurt me, and I call security. The following Monday, a young man about my age walks into the office. He is holding a bouquet of flowers.)

    Young Man: “Hi, are you the lady my grandmother asked me to beat up?”

    Me: “Yes, I think that would be me.”

    Young Man: *hands me the flowers* “I am so sorry. She does this every time she doesn’t get her way. I just wanted to thank you for being one of the few to not cave to her demands.”

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