Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Hear Her Evil, See Her Evil, Speak Her Evil

| USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body, Top, Wild & Unruly

(One of my coworkers has partial hearing loss in her right ear, and has a medical condition that has caused her to lose almost all of her peripheral vision in her right eye. On this day, she’s putting away a cartload of items and just happens to be working directly under a speaker. A customer approaches her from the right, and speaks very, very softly.)

Customer: *very softly* “Excuse me; where are your bedsheets?”

Coworker: *doesn’t hear her and keeps working*

Customer: “Excuse me? EXCUSE ME?!”

(Suddenly, the customer KICKS my coworker in the hip. The kick is so hard that my coworker has to catch herself so she doesn’t fall over.)

Customer: “How DARE you ignore me?!”

Coworker: “I’m terribly sorry, ma’am! I didn’t see you.”

Customer: “Bulls***! I was standing right here! Everyone has peripheral vision!”

Coworker: “Except for people with vision problems, ma’am. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Then you should’ve heard me!”

Coworker: “I also have partial hearing loss, and that…” *points up at the ceiling* “…is a speaker.”

Customer: “Well, you should be checking every direction for customers every five seconds!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, is there something I can help you with? I don’t actually work on the sales floor; I work in the stock room, and I have to get back…”

(My coworker ends up helping the customer and taking her to the bedsheets section. However, later I hear the customer complaining to my manager.)

Customer: “…and she just ignored me! And then she kicked me and called me a b****!”

Manager: “I’m so, so so sorry! I’ve never seen her act like that.”

Me: “…Sir?”

Manager: “Not now.”

Me: “But I witnessed the incident.”

Customer: *goes pale* “I didn’t see you anywhere nearby!”

Me: “I was ten feet away, in the clothing racks. Ma’am, YOU kicked HER when you thought she was ignoring you and yelled at her.”

Manager: *lightbulb goes on* “She was on [Coworker]’s right, wasn’t she?”

Me: “Yes, sir.”

Manager: *to the customer* “Well, ma’am, under these circumstances I can’t give you any discounts, nor will I. I’m not giving you anything for free, and I’m going to call corporate myself to tell them what happened. I’ve got video cameras and an employee witness. You assaulted one of my associates. Get out of my store!”

(The customer did try to call corporate. When they hung up on her, she called the cops, who reviewed the tape and nearly arrested her!)

Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5

| USA | At The Checkout, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I’m a pharmacist, and one day at work, a young woman comes up to the counter to pick up a script. I notice she is wearing one of those insertable birth control rings around her wrist.)

Me: “Ma’am, you know that’s not how those work, right?”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “Your birth control ring. Those are meant to be worn… you know… internally.”

Customer: “Oh, shoot, really? I… I didn’t know that. Excuse me.”

(She walks away and returns with a pregnancy test, clearly worried and very embarrassed.)

Customer: “I guess I’ll be needing this, too.”

Related:
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 3
Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 2
Cause For Pregnant Pause

A Man Needs His Nectar

| Finland | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

(I go to my local store after a game of soccer, still wearing my full goalkeeper kit. The cashier and I have met several times but don’t actually know each other at all. I am buying beer.)

Cashier: “[My Name], you can’t buy beer!”

Me: “Why not?”

Cashier: “You come here looking so sporty and I thought you’d buy something healthy or nice, and you buy beer!”

Me: “Okay, I’ll buy something nice.”

(I turn around, grab a bunch of flowers, pay for them, and give them to her.)

Me: “There you go!”

Cashier: “What? For me?”

Me: “Yes.”

Cashier: “But… but why? No one has ever bought me flowers before.”

Me: “Well, you told me to buy something nice, and as you looked tired and a bit down I thought that it would be nice to buy you flowers.”

Cashier: “Thank you! This was so nice of you!”

Me: “May I now drink beer tonight?”

Cashier: “With both hands, if you like!”

Raisin Awareness Of Her Problem

| MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I give out free samples. I am serving a variety of grapes when I see a well-dressed woman in her 60s nearby with her daughter and grandchild. Listening to them talk, she seems very educated and well-spoken, and I see her approach my cart.)

Me: “Hello, would you like to try some of our grapes today?”

Customer: “Oh, no thank you, dear.”

(I wish her a good day, and go back to preparing more samples. I realize a few seconds later that she is still just standing there, staring at me.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?”

(Suddenly she gives me a death glare, jabs her finger toward my bowl of grapes and yells at me.)

Customer: “DEY GIVE ME DA POOPIES!”

(She then stomps off in a huff, leaving me to wonder what the heck just happened.)

Because She Isn’t Suffering Enough

| TX, USA | Health & Body

(After a weekend vacation camping with my husband, I wake up with a bad allergic reaction that swells me up and covers me with hives. It’s so bad that my tongue has even swollen up and my eyes are squinted nearly shut. We’re sitting at the hospital waiting room and waiting to be called when a lady comes in and notices me.)

Woman: “Oh my god! What happened to you? Did you get hit by bees?”

My Husband: “We went camping this weekend, so we think something in the woods got on her clothes and gave her a bad allergic reaction.”

Woman: “And you’re all covered with bumps, too. Oh my god! Is she mute, too?”

My Husband: “No, she can talk, but her throat is hurting her and her tongue is swollen.”

(I even open my mouth to show her.)

Woman: *freaked out* “Oh my god! She looks like a raspberry. Why haven’t you taken her to the doctor before now? She looks horrible!”

My Husband: “Um…” *looks around the emergency room* “Well, it just happened this morning when she woke up. If it gets too severe, I’m sure the nurses will come out and give her an epi-shot or something.”

Woman: “I hope they do. I can’t imagine going anywhere outside looking that bloated and blotchy. Don’t worry, honey; I’m sure you don’t look that bad when you look normal!”

(As she says this, the woman pats my knee cautiously, like I’m going to give her some infection.)

Woman: “Just… oh my god!”

Page 55/122First...5354555657...Last