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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    You Say Tomato, I Say Epinephrine

    | ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am on a lunch date with my boyfriend, talking to a waitress.)

    Me: “I’d like no tomatoes on my sandwich please; I am allergic.”

    (This is a lie; it’s just to ensure they don’t end up on my sandwich.)

    Waitress: “Is your allergy mild, major, or severe?”

    Me: “Major.”

    Waitress: “Okay, and you wanted the fries with that? Would you like ketchup or cajun mayo for dipping?”

    Me: “Ketchup.”

    Waitress: “Of course. Our manager may stop by your table to discuss your allergy with you.”

    (The waitress leaves.)

    Me: *to my boyfriend* “Why would the manager talk to me?”

    Boyfriend: “You said you were allergic to tomatoes. But you ordered ketchup with your fries.”

    Me: “…Oh. S***!”

    (I walk up to the waitress, who has just finished talking on the phone.)

    Me: “Was that the manager you were just talking to?”

    Waitress: “Yes.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry; I’m not actually allergic to them. I just wanted to make sure they absolutely didn’t end up there; I despise raw tomato. But then I went and ordered ketchup with my fries, which was really stupid.”

    Waitress: *laughs* “I’ve seen stupider. Don’t worry about it; there won’t be any tomato on your sandwich.”

    Related:
    You Say Potato, I Say Epinephrine

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4

    | FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (My mother takes my younger brother and me out to a restaurant for dinner. As we are eating we witness a car crash in the road. My mother, being an LPN (licensed practical nurse), leaves her meal to rush across the street to offer help. We are seated by an elderly couple right next to a window.)

    Elderly Man: “Did your mom just go out there to help them?”

    Me: “Oh, well, she’s a nurse. Pretty much anytime an accident occurs and she’s there, she tries to help.”

    Restaurant Proprietor: “That’s your mother out there?”

    Little Brother: “Yeah. Our mom’s a nurse, so she went to help out.”

    Restaurant Proprietor: “Wow! How cool!”

    (My mother spends the next 30 minutes out in the middle of traffic, helping both drivers with their injuries, and waiting until EMTs arrive. She comes back in, and we resume our meal like nothing has happened.)

    Elderly Woman: “Are they okay?”

    Mom: “Yeah, but the poor girl – her parents are out of town. She has to wait in the hospital for them to come and see her. She pulled out, and that guy pulled out in front of her and rammed her car.”

    Elderly Woman: “Well, at least they’re okay.”

    (Another 20 minutes pass while my mother finishes her meal and the check is brought out to us. As the proprietor from earlier leaves the check, the couple next to us get up to leave.)

    Elderly Man: “Let me tell you something…”

    (He quickly snatches the check off of our table.)

    Elderly Man: “If I were in an accident like that and needed help, I would want you to come and help me. Anyone who selflessly dodges traffic to help someone like that deserves to have their meal paid for. I hope that if one day I’m in an accident I have you there for me.”

    (Despite my mother’s protests, the man pays the bill without even glancing at the total. When we go to the front to explain ourselves, the cashier isn’t surprised.)

    Cashier: “Oh, that’s Bill. He’s a regular here. I’m not surprised he did that. He’s a real sweetheart. He was actually on his first date with that girl!”

    (If you ever read this, Bill, you moved my mom to tears that day. You have forever made me want to be a better person! It’s people like you that re-instill my hope in humanity.)

    Related:
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

    Doesn’t Have Cold Feet About Sharing

    | London, England, UK | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I work in a rather high-end furniture and house-ware store. I’m helping a well-dressed, well-spoken lady in her fifties choose some items from the basement floor.)

    Customer: “I’m sorry I have to walk so slowly. You know, I had some major foot surgery done just last month and have not entirely recovered yet.”

    Me: “Not a problem at all. I must say you’re doing wonderfully well. In fact, I would have never guessed if you didn’t tell me.”

    Customer: “Yes, it’s getting better now, but I was in such pain for the first few days; I’m telling you.”

    Me: “Well, I sure hope you’ll be alright soon. There, I’ll carry that for you, at least.”

    (We make our way back upstairs, where the tills are located. I’m carrying her items, and we’re making small talk throughout. I ring her up and hand her the carrier bag and receipt.)

    Customer: “Yes, I was telling you about my feet. I have some pictures; let me show you…”

    (Before I can think of a reply, she leans over the counter and proceeds to show me several photos of her feet covered in angry septic sores.)

    Me: “Well… that sure looks bad. I’m glad it’s all sorted now.”

    Customer: “Terrible, isn’t it? So much pus, you have no idea of the smell! Absolutely rotten! Oh, well, thank you and have a nice day!”

    (She leaves. My manager walks by.)

    Manager: “Are you alright? What was that about?”

    Me: “Never mind. Any chance I could get a late lunch-break today?”

    The Breast Advice

    | AR, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (A lone customer, obviously pregnant, is looking at the wall of pacifiers and bottles, looking more and more confused as she stands there. She turns to me.)

    Customer: “Hey, do you have any kids?”

    Me: “Yes, I have a three-year-old daughter.”

    Customer: “Oh, thank God! Which one of these bottles did you use? I don’t know which one is the best one!”

    Me: “Oh, my daughter never drank from a bottle.”

    Customer: “What?”

    Me: “My daughter never drank from a bottle. We didn’t need them.”

    Customer: “B…but then how did you feed her?!”

    Me: “With my boobs.”

    (The customer digests this for a few seconds, then blushes crimson and runs off, leaving me a little confused, offended, and worried about the child she is carrying.)

    Can’t Handle The Weight Of Girl Power

    | ON, Canada | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I am a girl, and so is the customer.)

    Customer: “I need a guy to help me get some boxes of paper.”

    Me: “Oh, they’re all busy, but that’s okay; I can get it for you.”

    Customer: “No! Girls shouldn’t be lifting heavy things!”

    Me: “Why not? I lift heavy things all the time.”

    Customer: “You shouldn’t be!”

    Me: “Why not?”

    Customer: “Because you are a woman! Women can’t lift heavy things! You’ll hurt your back!”

    Me: “Not if I lift it properly. I carry boxes of paper all the time as part of my job. I can lift it no problem.”

    Customer: “But I need five of them!”

    Me: “That’s okay; I’ll put them on a dolly.”

    Customer: “No! Women shouldn’t be lifting things as heavy as that!”

    Me: “Okay, seriously. Women can lift whatever they want. Just because I’m a woman doesn’t mean that I can’t lift paper. If I wasn’t a strong woman, maybe I wouldn’t be strong enough to do it, and then I would hurt myself. But I am strong enough to lift that paper, so I won’t hurt myself.”

    Customer: “I’M NOT BUYING THE PAPER UNLESS A MAN LIFTS IT FOR ME!”

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