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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Diabetes Meets Rabies

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (A customer is picking up some diabetic test-strips, and I am ringing him up.)

    Me: “How are you doing today, sir?”

    Customer: “I’m alright; how about yourself?”

    Me: “I’m doing great, thanks. Did you have any questions for the pharmacist?”

    (The customer gestures at the test strips, jokingly.)

    Customer: “Yeah, do I really have to poke myself for these to work?”

    Me: “Yep, I’m afraid so.”

    Customer: “Can’t I just poke you instead?”

    Me: *laughing* “Sorry, I’m afraid it doesn’t work that way, sir.”

    (The customer gestures at my multiple facial piercings.)

    Customer: “You look like the type that would enjoy that, though.”

    Me: “Your doctor might have a problem with that, though.”

    (When a customer picks up a prescription, they’re required by law to sign, stating that they’ve received it. Our pharmacy does this through an electronic prompt. The customer looks at it.)

    Customer: “What’s this?”

    Me: “It’s just a way to say that you’ve gotten your prescription. That way there’s no confusion later. It’s as much for your protection as ours really.”

    Customer: “Well what happens if I don’t sign it?”

    Me: “Then unfortunately, we’re not allowed to give you your prescriptions.”

    Customer: “WELL I GUESS I’M NOT GETTING ANYTHING TODAY!”

    (The customer THROWS the electronic pen across the counter, hitting me in the face. He turns, and practically skips away. The pharmacist and I aren’t sure if he is joking, but by the end of the day he still hasn’t come back!)

    Of Bellies And Buttons

    | Baltimore, MD, USA | Health & Body

    (My co-worker is a tall, thin, very pretty girl. I am about the same height, but I am a plus-sized girl. I am in the middle of doing my count-out, since I am about to get off and my coworker is coming on. We have a customer waiting, so I ask her if she can check her out real quick. After she is done, we start a conversation.)

    Coworker: “I don’t think I’m going to enjoy my classes this semester. I really just can’t wait for the whole thing to be over.”

    Me: “You’ll be fine. Plus you need to be one of those girls that are both smart and pretty!”

    (We both laugh, and she begins to tell me about her classes when the client interrupts.)

    Client: “You know… you could be really pretty too if you tried.”

    Me: “I’m sorry?”

    Client: “I’m serious! You could be just as pretty as she is if you exercised, ate properly, and lost a good bit of weight.”

    Me: “Oh… I…”

    Client: “Well your face is as cute as a button! You just need to lose weight!”

    Me: “Um… thanks.”

    Client: “Do people even say cute as a button anymore? Oh well… your face is still cute as a button!”

    (The client walks out.)

    Coworker: “Did she really just tell you to lose weight?”

    Me: “Yeah. But I’m cute as a button though!”

    (We laugh. Now, when we see something we like, we say it’s cute as a button!)

    On The Other Hand She Seems Fine

    | LA, USA | Health & Body

    (It’s a couple hours until closing. Our store is well known for discount prices. I’m in the accessories section rearranging the purses. On the other side of the see-through rack is a woman frantically picking through purses that are not hung up.)

    Customer: *rummaging madly* “Ow, ow, ow…”

    Me: “…ma’am? Is everything alright?”

    (The customer looks up with a great big grin that’s hiding obvious pain.)

    Customer: “Yes! Everything is wonderful. I’m just having some trouble deciding what bag to get. There are so many!”

    Me: “You were saying ‘ow’.”

    Customer: “Oh, that. I was in [other retail store] before coming here, and I broke one of my fingers.”

    Me: “You broke one of your fingers?”

    (She holds up the obviously injured digit. It’s swollen and not looking too good.)

    Customer: “Yep! But, I just had to come here! The hospital is always open, but you guys close soon!”

    Me: “G-good luck…”

    (She eventually leaves without buying anything. I hope she got to the hospital!)

    Jeepers Creepers

    | RetailOklahoma City, OK, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

    (A customer approaches my register. I begin her transaction, as well as make small talk.)

    Customer: “Can I ask you a question?”

    Me: “Absolutely!”

    Customer: “Do you have prosthetic eyes? My husband makes them and, yours just look so real!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. My eyes are real.”

    Customer: “Are you sure?”

    Me: “Yep, my eyes are really real.”

    (She turns deep red, but tries to laugh it off. We finish her transaction, and she leaves very quickly.)

    Blood Money

    | NY, USA | Health & Body, Money

    (A customer walks up to my teller window, and throws two rolls of pennies down. They are covered in wet blood. I try not to look disgusted.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry; I can’t accept that.”

    Customer: “Why not? It’s good American money.”

    Me: “I’m sure it is, but it’s covered in blood; I’m not going to touch that.”

    Customer: “It’s fine; it’s just my blood.”

    Me: “Excuse me while I get my manager.”

    (I happily escape to the back to try to settle my stomach while the manager talks to the man.)

    Manager: “Sir, we can’t accept these pennies like this.”

    Customer: “It’s perfectly good American money!”

    Manager: “Yes, but we can’t take it like this. If you like, I can give you new wrappers. You can re-roll the pennies, and then we can deposit them for you.”

    Customer: “F*** this country! My money isn’t good in a bank; it isn’t good anywhere!” *storms out*

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