Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Needs To See The Doctor For Their Stupidity

, | USA | Crazy Requests, Extra Stupid, Health & Body

(I work in a call center that mainly serves as an after-hours line for local hospitals and clinics. Routine questions revealed this particular caller to be a pregnant teenager and someone who speaks English as a first language.)

Me: “Good evening. How may I help you?”

Patient: *using the most arrogant and condescending tone imaginable* “I need to speak to a doctor, right now!”

Me: “Miss, are you currently experiencing an emergency? Bleeding, difficulty breathing—”

Patient: “No, no, but this is really important!”

Me: “Would you like me to take a message?”

Patient: “NO! I said I need to talk to a DOCTOR, NOW!”

(The doctor’s line is reserved for emergencies only. Nonetheless, I continue politely.)

Me: “What seems to be the nature of the problem, miss?”

Patient: “The doctor gave me these prenatal vitamins, and I need them to tell me how much I should take!”

Me: “…You mean the dosage instructions printed on the side of the bottle?”

A Multidirectional Question

| Chennai, India | Health & Body, Language & Words

(This took place a few years ago when Mum and I were at a pharmacy. We are stocking up on some over-the-counter medications and witness this gem of a conversation between the busy pharmacist and another customer:)

Customer: *in a low voice, clearly embarrassed* “I, umm… need some medicine for the toilet.”

Pharmacist: “For diarrhea or constipation?”

Customer: *with a confused look on his face* “What does that mean?”

Pharmacist: “You wanna make it stop or make it go?”

Said With The Breast Intentions

| Arlington, VA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

(I work at a maternity store. I arrive and go behind the counter to clock in. A pregnant customer I have never met is draped over the counter, complaining to my coworker about back pain from her large breasts. She looks at me, glares, and says loudly to my not-large breasts:)

Customer: “Of course, SOME PEOPLE don’t have that problem!”

Me: “Thanks for that.”

If Looks Could Kill

| Newcastle, NSW, Australia | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

 

(After I’ve taken her order in the drive-thru, the customer leans through the window and grabs my hand.)

Customer: “Can I give you some advice?”

Me: “Um…?”

Customer: “You should use Proactiv. It really works; you don’t have to look like that.”

Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On, Part 2

| Athens, GA, USA | Awesome Workers, Crazy Requests, Health & Body

(I’m a carhop at the Sonic near my house. I had knee surgery a few months ago and have to wear a pretty heavy brace under my uniform to be able to walk. It also means I can’t skate. People can get pretty rude if you’re not on skates.)

Me: “Hi! Your total is [total].”

Customer: “Why aren’t you on skates?”

(I’m getting annoyed at this point. It’s Super Bowl Sunday and we’re busy.)

Me: “Skating isn’t required. ma’am. Your total is—”

Customer: *angrily* “I’m not going to give you my f****** money unless you’re on skates. I’m paying good money to this place so you should be on skates!”

Me: “I’m sorry. ma’am. I can’t skate. Your total is—”

Customer: “I’m not giving you s*** unless you go put on skates and give me my food!”

(The lady’s yelling at me now, but I’m still trying to be polite.)

Me: “I can’t give you your food until you give me the money, ma’am. And I can’t go put on skates.”

Customer: “WHY THE F*** NOT?!”

(I’m pissed at this point so I just say the first that comes to mind.)

Me: “I can’t skate because it makes my prosthetic leg fall off.”

Customer: “…Huh?”

Me: “The parking lot isn’t very smooth so the vibrations make my leg fall off.”

Customer: “You’re s****** me.”

Me: “No, ma’am, I’m not.”

(I knock on the metal of the brace to get the point across but she still doesn’t look convinced. Placing the tray of food on her car hood I unhook the brace on my leg. It sticks out at a weird angle and legitimately makes it look like I just took off my leg. The lady’s gone sheet white and is gaping like a fish at this point.)

Me: “Lost it last year.”

(I snap the brace back in place and pick the tray back up.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

(The lady shoved a fifty in my face, grabbed her food, and peeled out of the parking lot. Happy about my thirty-something dollar tip I went back inside to get another order and found my manager and just about every other employee crowded about one of the intercoms and laughing their a**es off.)

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Doesn’t Have A Leg To Stand On

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