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  • Raise A Broken Glass To That Employee
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  • August Theme Of The Month: Best. Customer. Ever!

    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Not Sue-ted To Parenting

    | Pasco, WA, USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I’m in my check-stand when I see a customer’s child is standing on the cart’s seat.)

    Me: “Sir, you really shouldn’t have your child standing on the seat.”

    Customer: “Why?”

    Me: “Because he could fall and injure himself.”

    Customer: “It’s okay. I can just sue you guys if he falls.”

    (The customer then proceeded to shop with the child standing on the seat. Luckily the child didn’t fall.)

    Making Visit Number Two

    | Wales, UK | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (My job involves emptying the sanitary bins in women’s toilets, as well as replacing other hygiene-related matters. I’ve seen some random things left in bins, such as belts, cups, uneaten sandwiches etc. I arrive back at my yard when my boss comes up to me.)

    Boss: “You’re going to have to go back to [Business] as they’ve just called saying one of their bins is full and smelling.”

    Me: “It can’t be. I was there this morning.”

    Boss: “I can only go by what they’ve said. Just unload the waste on your van and head over there, please.”

    (I arrive on site, open up the bin, and immediately evacuate and call my boss.)

    Me: “You’re not going to believe this, but someone’s actually pooped into the bin.”

    Boss: “You’re joking?!”

    Me: “Nope, just removed the lid and used it as a toilet.”

    Completely Obamacareless

    | VI, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Money

    (I work in client intake for a private pay home health care. We don’t take insurance of any kind and cater to a wealthier crowd in a home health agency. A woman calls up demanding care.)

    Me: “Hello. this is [Company]. How can I help you today?”

    Client: “Yes, I need to get set up with care in my home!”

    Me: “Great, I will just need to get some information from you and get one of our nurses to come out and do an assessment with you.”

    (I explain our pricing and our rates, I explain we are private pay only and do not accept insurance of any kind.)

    Client: “Oh, this sounds wonderful! My doctor. told me you would all take wonderful care of me! Who do I have my doctor fax the orders for Medicaid to?”

    Me: “Ma’am, as I have already stated to you we do not take Medicaid or any other insurance!”

    Client: “Yeah, but my doctor wrote an order! You have to do it!”

    Me: “I am sorry, but because we do not work with insurance companies a doctor can not just write an order and expect us to take it. We are not set up to even work with Medicaid.”

    (I explain again how we work and how our payment system is set up etc.. making sure to let her know clearly that we do not take any insurance and that she will have to pay 100% out of pocket!)

    Client: “Well, this is just stupid! You have to take care of me! I chose to call you! You cannot turn down a customer! I want care and you need to have a caregiver here by tomorrow or I will sue you!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry but we can’t do that. It’s not possible. Would you like the names and numbers of companies that take Medicaid and can provide you with a home health aid?”

    Client: “No, I hate companies that take Medicaid! They all suck and the caregivers don’t work!”

    Me: “So, you are okay with our pricing and paying for the care yourself?”

    Client: “No, you will take my insurance or get sued!”

    Me: *click*

    (She called back for over two hours with me hanging up on her over and over again. She complained to her doctor, who called us and talked to me about how our services work. Turned out he had recommended us to this client as she does not qualify for in home health through Medicaid and told her the reason we could provide care is because we don’t take insurance and the client would be paying for the care herself!)

    Service With Surgical Precision

    | USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I work as technical support at a large company that sells technology into multiple markets. I am following up on a voicemail left by a potential customer. From the voicemail, I know he’s looking for a specific medical product from the company’s medical division. I also know that the rights to the specific product had been sold to another company a few years ago. I dial the number he left me so that I can give him the other company’s contact information.)

    Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] from technical support at [My Company]. I’m calling to follow up with a voicemail you left with us earlier today.”

    Customer: “Oh, yes, I’m so glad you got back to me!”

    Me: “As it turns out, [product he is interested in] is one of the products that [My Company] sold to [Other Company] a few years ago. Would you like to take down their phone number?”

    Customer: “Well, actually, I can’t right now. I’m in surgery. It’s what I do for a living. But I’m sure I’ll be able to look up [Other Company]’s phone number if I search on the Internet.”

    Me: “Okay, well, I hope you have a good day and that everything turns out well.”

    Customer: *cheerfully* “Oh, yes, we’re just closing up the chest now. Thanks again for calling me back!”

    In Praise Of Your Baggage

    | Edmonton, AB, Canada | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (I work in a soap company based out of Canada, and business is usually very slow. I don’t get a lot of sleep, so I have bags under my eyes. A female, middle-aged customer walks in.)

    Me: “Hello, welcome to [Store]!”

    Customer: “Are you wearing eyeliner?”

    Me: “No, I’m not. Why do you ask?”

    Customer: “It’s just unusual to see men with eyes like yours. Are you sure you don’t wear eyeliner?”

    Me: “No, I’m sure those are just bags under my eyes.”

    Customer: “Oh… well, they look great!”

    Me: “Thank you?”

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