• Holy Guacamole, Get Off The Phone!
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  • May Theme Of The Month: Movie Mayhem!

    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 7

    | USA | Bad Behavior, Health & Body

    (I am folding clothes with a coworker in the maternity section of a large chain department store. My coworker and I are both in our early 20s. The racks are tall enough so you can only see our heads and shoulders. A middle aged woman approaches us from behind.)

    Customer: “When are you ladies due?”

    (I step around the rack and hold up my badge so she can clearly see I’m an employee and that I’m not pregnant.)

    Me: “Oh, no, ma’am. We are just straightening up the department. Neither of us are expecting.”

    Customer: “Oh, well, I guess you’re not.” *turning to my coworker* “When are you due?”

    Coworker: “I’m actually not pregnant either.”

    Customer: “Of course you are!”

    Coworker: “No, ma’am, I assure you I’m not.”

    Customer: “Don’t be silly. When are you due?”

    Coworker: “I’M NOT PREGNANT. I’M JUST FAT!”

    (The customer gets ready to say something else but just walks away.)

    Coworker: “I’m never wearing this sweater again…”

    Me: “I’m never working in the maternity section again.”

    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 6
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 5
    Cause For Pregnant Pause, Part 4

    That’s No Way To Talk To A Customer

    | CA, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body, Top

    (I’m the customer in this story. I’m checking out at a grocery store and the cashier has a sign out that reads ‘I’ve lost my voice. Please work with me.’)

    Cashier: *nods at me by way of greeting; points to the sign*

    Me: *nods and give thumbs up to indicate that I saw it*

    Cashier: *scans a bottle of wine; pantomimes opening his wallet*

    Me: *wordlessly show him my ID*

    Cashier: *holds up a bag; raises eyebrow to ask if I want one*

    Me: *nods; hold up one finger*

    Me: *out loud* “Oh… I guess I can still talk, huh?”

    Cashier: *smiles and writes me a quick note on a scrap of paper*

    Note: “Don’t feel bad. You’re at least the 10th person today.”

    Putting The Prices Into Perspective

    | Newport, KY, USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

    Customer: “How do you sleep at night charging this much for popcorn?”

    Me: *completely fed up with this crap* “I lie awake at night thinking about my mother’s cancer treatments.”

    (No response from Customer, and awed shock from coworkers.)

    He Is Weigh Out Of Line

    , | WA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Spouses & Partners

    (It is a few days before Christmas. One of my coworkers is nearby.)

    Me: “Hi there, sir. Are you finding everything all right?”

    Customer: “Yeah, I’m just trying to decide which size sweater would fit my wife better.”

    Me: “Do you know what size she normally wears?”

    Customer: “Not really, but she is bigger than you… especially in the breasts… She is more like your size!” *gesturing to my coworker*

    (Turns around to address my coworker.)

    Customer: “What do you weigh?”

    Passes It No Sweat

    | Okotoks, AB, Canada | Bad Behavior, Criminal/Illegal, Health & Body

    (A customer brings over a pair of wool socks and a large pack of toe warmers to my till. He is in his early twenties, but seems nice enough.)

    Me: “Getting ready for the cold weather? I heard it’s supposed to snow.”

    Customer: “No, it’s for a drug test.”

    (Thinking I didn’t hear right.)

    Me: “What?”

    Customer: “They help me pass my drug test, every time.”

    Me: “…”

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