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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Allergic To Common Sense

    | Norway | Bad Behavior, Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    (I am the store manager of a fairly new store that sells accessories aimed at women and children. It is clear to most customers that we do not sell any high-quality jewelry, only mixed-metal ones. Its a fairly quiet day and I am fixing the music system that is located behind the register. I do not hear the customer come in, which I would come to regret. Sitting on my knees, I suddenly hear a voice.)

    Customer: “Is it possible to get any help here, or are you just going to be sitting on your fat a**?”

    Me: “I am so sorry, ma’am. I was trying to fix our music system and I didn`t hear you come in. What can I do for you today?”

    (The customer does not look me in the eye during the whole conversation.)

    Customer: “Yeah, right. Well, I have a problem with your store and I demand to see the manager. NOW.”

    Me: “That would be me, ma’am. What seems to be the problem?”

    Customer: *sighs* “Really? You? Okay. I bought a pair of earrings here and I’m allergic so I am going to get my money back.”

    Me: “Okay, well it`s against store policy to take back earrings, due to health issues, but—”

    Customer: “That is the stupidest thing I have ever heard. In my 70 years on this planet I have never experienced any problems of this sort.”

    Me: “Forgive me, ma’am, but I find that hard to believe as no other store in this city will take back earrings, unless there is a problem with them.”

    Customer: “THERE IS A PROBLEM WITH THEM. I am allergic!”

    Me: “There is nothing wrong with the earrings. They are the way they are supposed to be. They are made with mixed metals, which we make perfectly clear to all customers who ask about allergies. If you knew you were allergic you should have gone to the jewelry store and bought some gold or silver ones. That being said, if you’ll let me look at the receipt, I’ll see what I can do.”

    Customer: “I don’t have a receipt. Why would I have that?”

    Me: “Without a receipt there is nothing I can do. It’s the company policy. I am sorry.”

    Customer: “That`s Illegal!”

    Me: “It’s not illegal. According to the law, you are actually never entitled to any money back unless there is something clearly wrong with the product. Of course, most stores still offer exchanges of products that have not been used, against a valid receipt. But, seeing as you claim there is something wrong with the product, we should skip to that part.”

    (The customer is staring at the ceiling with her arms crossed, but still listening, so I continue.)

    Me: “If a product does not meet the qualifications that they are supposed to, you are entitled to your money back.”

    Customer: “That is what I said.”

    Me: “No. Because there is nothing wrong with the earrings. They are made with mixed-metals, just as they were meant to.”

    Customer: “But I had an allergic reaction.”

    Me: “Yes, exactly. There is something wrong with you, not the earrings. What we can do is: you give me the earrings and I will send them to the head office and they will get in touch with you, as I am not allowed to hand out money without a receipt, regardless of the situation.”

    Customer: “I don’t have them.”

    Me: “I’m sorry? You don’t have the earrings?”

    Customer: “No? Why the h*** would I keep them?”

    Me: “Okay, let me get this straight. You come in here without a receipt, or any other proof of payment and demand money for a product that you can`t show me?”

    Customer: “Why is that a f****** problem?”

    Me: “Do you honestly not understand that If I allowed that, anyone could come in and claim that they bought something and get money for it without any form of proof?”

    Customer: “Do you think I am lying to you? I am offended!”

    Me: *sigh* “I am going to call the head office and ask them what to do. I need your information, please.”

    (The customer gives me her name, number, etc…)

    Me: “And when did you buy the earrings, ma’am?”

    Customer: “Sometime before Christmas.”

    Me: “So you bought them six months ago and decided to wait until now to make a complaint?”

    (The customer, still not looking me in the eye, or even in my direction, walks around the register and behind it and looks at the sign behind me.)

    Customer: “What is this?”

    Me: “It’s a sign, ma’am. With our store name.”

    Customer: “Yes, but what is this? This place?”

    Me: “[Store].”

    Customer: “YES! BUT WHAT IS IT CALLED?! I am going to tell your boss that you are a disgusting human being, a rat. And you will get fired!”

    Me: “I doubt that, ma’am. They don’t fire people for being right. You have a fantastic day!”

    (The customer ran out screaming. The head office told me I was right and just laughed at this woman.)

    Twenty-One Years And Nine Months

    | UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (Overheard at the shop where I work:)

    Coworker: “I’m sorry but we can’t accept a pregnancy test as ID… even if it is positive.”

    Think They Can Call All The Shots

    | USA | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (Our office is closed during lunch so that the nurses and receptionists can eat, and the shot clinic isn’t even open on this day. We have signs up on the windows and doors announcing this, but we still have people that try to get in during lunch, shake the doors, and then complain later that the receptionists wouldn’t let them in. As a result, the front office people tend to stay out of sight of the window when the office is closed. Sometimes, we’ve even hidden under the desks to keep patients from thinking we were open. I walk out of my part of the office and freeze. There’s a woman standing at the front door impatiently. I’m not clocked in, so I call for my coworker, who is technically also off the clock.)

    Coworker: “Can I help you? ”

    Patient: “Where is everyone? The door was locked!”

    Coworker: “The office is closed for lunch right now.”

    Patient: “I wasn’t sure. That’s why I went around to the back and knocked.”

    Me: *shocked* “You… went to the back?”

    (The back of the office is the break room and where we park our cars. The patients are not supposed to go back there, and this is the first one that’s been bold enough to try.)

    Patient: “Yeah, but nobody answered. I need to get my shot!”

    Coworker: ” Ma’am, the shot room is closed.”

    Patient: “What? Why?”

    Coworker: ” We don’t give shots today.”

    Patient: ” Wait, since when have you started doing that?”

    Coworker: “… Ma’am, we’ve NEVER given shots on this day of the week.”

    Patient: “WELL, YOU SHOULD!”

    Won’t Be Seen But Definitely Heard

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Spouses & Partners, Theme Of The Month

    (A call comes in a little after 4 pm:)

    Customer: “How do I get to your office? We were up by [Hospital] and we didn’t see your building…”

    Me: “Ah, we’re actually not near them. But I can get you here from there!”

    (I then give them the most complete directions I can for a trip that should only take perhaps fifteen minutes at the most. They thank me and ask if we will be able to see them that day. I assure them that as long as they can get here before five, we can. I’m under the impression that they will only be a few minutes. As time goes on and they don’t show up I assume they have just decided ‘forget it; I’ll go home.’ At a few minutes after five, before I have a chance to even lock the doors for the evening, a troop of three people walk in: our lost patient, expecting that she can get in that day.)

    Me: “Ma’am, I’m so sorry, but we’re actually closed—”

    (The customer’s husband shouts over me, loud enough that the nurses later tell me they could hear him.)

    Customer’s Husband: “No! Don’t you listen to her. She told you you could get in! You said she could get seen today!”

    Me: *trying to keep my temper* “Actually, sir, what I said was as long as you came in before five pm we could see you.” *to his wife* “I’m sorry, ma’am, but as we’re closed for the day you’ll have to reschedule.”

    Customer’s Husband: “No! YOU SAID SHE COULD BE SEEN TODAY! DON’T YOU LISTEN TO HER. YOU’RE GONNA BE SEEN!”

    Me: *deciding I can’t fight stupid* “Let me go check with the doctor, and see if we can fit you in.”

    (When I got back to the nurse’s station, I managed to catch the doctor coming out of the last patient’s room, and upon explaining the situation he agreed – we wouldn’t bend the rules. When I got back up front to explain the situation, the lady was very polite and understanding, willing to reschedule her appointment to later the next week, while her husband stood back behind her declaring the whole time that we would be seeing her that day because we had said we would. That was the only time I’ve ever had someone argue the closing time with me, and I really hope it doesn’t happen again.)

    Charged With Time-Wasting And Battery

    | KY, USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Technology, Theme Of The Month, Transportation

    (I work at a battery store, and one of the most popular items we have are reconditioned car batteries. I’m gladly closing up the store. I have my arm in a sling since I had dislocated my shoulder a few days before. Some customers roll up:)

    Customer: “We want a reconditioned battery.”

    (By the boss’s instruction, I was to keep the shop open and take care of customers when they came in. So, I get them rung up.)

    Customer: “And we want you to install it.”

    (This is a problem, because it is a Dodge Stratus, which means you have to take the wheel off the car to get to the battery.)

    Me: “Okay, but the surcharge will be [total].”

    Customer: “What! That is ridiculous. I won’t pay that much!”

    Me: “Then I can’t do it.”

    Customer: “Fine! But hurry up!”

    Me: “It will take a little longer because my arm is in a sling.”

    (After more arguing, I finally got started installing the battery. They all walked down the street to a convenience store. An hour and a half after closing, I got the job done, while they stood there and complained that I had taken so long.)

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