Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

The Bald And The Beautiful, Part 2

| CA, USA | Bad Behavior, Bigotry, Health & Body, Top

(I’ve recently been diagnosed with leukemia and am due to undergo chemotherapy. I decide to have fun with my hair and dye it blue knowing it’ll be gone soon. I’m at my favorite coffee shop.)

Customer In Line: “Excuse me. Is there a manager on duty?”

Manager: “I’m the manager on duty. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer In Line: *points straight at me* “Can you have HIM escorted from the premises?”

Manager: “I can’t see anything he’s doing wrong, ma’am. May I ask why you want him to leave?”

Customer In Line: “Are you blind? Look at that punk. His kind should not be allowed in an establishment like this.”

(Having heard more than I wish to, I decide to step in.)

Me: “Is something about me bothering you?”

Customer In Line: “YES! Look at your hair! You little rebel punks need to have some respect.”

Me: “Oh, I’m sorry, miss. Should I get rid of it?”

Customer In Line: “It would be a start.”

Me: “Well, my chemotherapy treatment is on Wednesday, so odds are the next time you’ll see me it’ll be gone.”

(The customer goes pale and walks away without saying a word. The manager gives me a big hug and a $25 gift card!)

Related:
The Bald And The Beautiful

Best To Let Sleeping Service Dogs Lie

| USA | At The Checkout, Health & Body

(I am disabled and have a service dog that accompanies me everywhere, including my job. I typically run a register, and he will either sit or lay beside me on the rubber mat behind the register. I typically don’t talk about my disabilities with strangers, since some people can be rather mean.)

Customer: “Oh, a service dog! Are you training it?”

Me: *ringing up customer’s items* “No. He’s mine.”

Customer: “But you don’t look disabled.”

(I just smile and continue their transaction.)

Customer: “Oh! Do you have seizures?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “Diabetes?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “PTSD?”

Me: “Something like that.”

Customer: “Well! I wasn’t trying to be nosy. Hmph!”

Me: “Sorry about that. Your total will be [total].”

(The customer pays and takes his bags, starts heading for the door before turning back to me.)

Customer: “I’m sorry. That was rude of me, wasn’t it?”

Me: “Something like that.”

One Customer And You’re Already Pooped

| Australia | Extra Stupid, Health & Body, Pets & Animals

(I am waiting to pick up my cat at the vet when I witness an exchange between the receptionist and a customer.)

Receptionist: “She’s doing well. She’s passed some formed feces—”

Customer: “What does that mean?”

Receptionist: “Uh… It just means it’s solid—”

Customer: “But what does that MEAN?”

Receptionist: “What? Formed feces?”

Customer: “Yeah, that second one.”

Receptionist: “Oh… um… It’s her bowel movements.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Receptionist: “Number Two?”

Customer: *blank stare*

Receptionist: “Her, um, her poo, ma’am.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, that’s good.”

Deeply Fried And Deeply Mistaken

| Onley, VA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

(I work in a department store. I am helping stock shelves in the grocery department.)

Customer: “Excuse me. Could you help me find Sugar-Free Oreos?”

Me: “Sure!”

(I’m not too familiar with the grocery department and it takes us a while to find them.)

Me: “Oh! Here they are!”

Customer: “Oh! Thank you! I’m so happy you found them!”

Me: “No problem. Have a great day!”

Customer: “Well, my daughter bought them here last week. I’ve been looking for them ever since.”

Me: “I’m glad I could help—”

Customer: “You see, my grandkids love it when I make deep-fried Oreos, and I wanted to get the sugar-free kind because they’re healthier to deep-fry than the regular kind.”

Doesn’t Seem To Get The Concept(ion)

| Denison, TX, USA | Health & Body, Religion

(I do the marketing and advertising for an OB/GYN. I overhear an interesting exchange.)

Doctor: “You’re pregnant and you have an STD. You must have had some kind of sex to get pregnant.”

Patient: “Well, Mary didn’t!”

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