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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Left A Stool In The Stall

    | Woodbridge, VA, USA | Health & Body, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

    (I work in the changing room of a popular teen clothing-store.)

    Customer: “Where is your bathroom?”

    Me: “Oh, our bathroom is in the back. We can’t let you go back there. If you go out the store, and turn left, there is a restroom over by [sub shop].”

    Customer: “Can’t I just use it this once? Please?”

    Me: “No, I’m very sorry. But that restroom near [sub place] is really only a three-minute-walk from here.”

    Customer: “Why can’t I just use yours! I really need to go!”

    Me: “No, ma’am. We have merchandise back there; I can’t let you use it.”

    Customer: “B****!”

    (She storms out of the store. I go on break for half an hour. When I come back, there is a horrific smell coming from the changing rooms. I go back there, and I see the customer standing outside one of our back stalls.)

    Customer: “Serves you right!”

    (She runs out of the store as I turn to look into the stall. She’d grabbed a bunch of clothes, thrown them on the floor, and urinated and defecated on them.)

    Me: “I’m not cleaning that up.”

    Coworker: “Teen girls be crazy!”

    Needs To Take A Chill Pill, Part 2

    | Sacramento, CA, USA | Health & Body

    Me: “Thank you for calling [Pharmacy], how can I—”

    Customer: “So I just requested a refill, and I want to know when it will be ready.”

    Me: “Okay, what is your name?”

    (The customer gives her name. I see that no refill was requested. The medication is out of refills, and needs approval from the doctor.)

    Me: “I am very sorry, but we must not have gotten your refill request. I see that there are no refills available. I am going to have to fax the doctor.”

    Customer: “I did that. I went to their site and asked the doctor to do that. It should have just given my request to you, and it should be ready by now.”

    Me: “So, which website did you go to? Was it ours, or your doctor’s site?”

    Customer: “His, duh! How can you be that stupid? I requested it, and you see that request, and then you just fill out the paper to give me refills. All the doctor does is sign it. It should take like all of five minutes to get that done. So when the h*** is my prescription going to be ready?!”

    Me: “Ma’am, I am sorry. We are in no way connected to your doctor’s office. They have their own software, and we have ours. We cannot in any way see what you have requested with your doctor’s office. We have to wait until he contacts us, and sometimes that can take up to three days for a response. Now if you are out of this medica—”

    Customer: “This is unacceptable! I know how these computer things work. You can look up any person’s prescriptions anywhere and anytime, no matter what pharmacy they are at! Now fill my f****** prescription!”

    Me: “Ma’am, there is no way I can do that. That would be in direct violation of federal law. There is a privacy act that means that we cannot share medical information with anyone else without your direct consent. Would you like it if I could access your medical record right now and see things like what you went to the ER for?”

    (Note: this customer is a notorious drug seeker, and is well known at ERs and Urgent Cares throughout the area. She also knows that we know.)

    Customer: “…uh, no.”

    Me: “That’s why we can’t see anything your doctor may have on you, or what requests you may have made to him. It’s to protect your privacy. Now since this isn’t a narcotic, I can ask the pharmacist if we can advance you some of your medication until we hear back from the doctor.”

    Customer: “Uh yeah, okay. That will be fine then.”

    (My pharmacist later pulls me to the side and tells me that I did a great job with a difficult customer, and with keeping my cool. Come Christmas time, I got a few extra bucks in my bonus!)

    Related:
    Needs To Take A Chill Pill

    His Magnetic Personality Won The Day

    | Boston, MA, USA | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Health & Body, Love/Romance, Top

    (I am an African-American male. When I was 13, I was in a car accident that has left me with a little bit of a limp since. I have two metal rods in my leg from the accident. An elderly customer comes into my lane for checkout.)

    Me: “Hello, how are you today ma’am? Did you find everything you were looking for?”

    Elderly Customer: “Actually, I couldn’t find this brownie mix.”

    (The customer shows me a coupon for the mix.)

    Me: “Oh, I can get that for you! Just a moment!”

    (I start to walk away. My limp is showing, as it always is. I hear the woman speak up from behind me.)

    Elderly Customer: “Excuse me!”

    Me: “Yes?”

    Elderly Customer: “I know that you guys like to walk like that, but could you hurry? I’m in a bit of a rush!”

    Me: “What do you mean, ma’am?”

    Elderly Customer: “The way you young lazy n****** walk these days. I’m surprised your pants are even up!”

    (Now I get what she’s saying, and I feel I should show her something. We keep fridge-magnets for sale near the checkout. I call out to a nearby coworker)

    Me: “Hey, [coworker], can you toss me a magnet?”

    (My coworker tosses ones to me, and I stick the magnet to my leg.)

    Me: “My mother and I were hit by a drunk driver when I was 13 years old. I am lucky I can even walk, since my leg is held together by metal rods.”

    (The customer is now screaming incoherently; the only words that could be made out are racial slurs and shrieking. My manager walks up.)

    Manager: “Excuse me, but I’m going to have to ask you to leave the store immediately. You cannot speak to my employees like that.”

    Elderly Customer: “Fine! I don’t care! I wouldn’t buy anything any n***** touched anyway!”

    (The customer continues screaming the whole way out, slowly being drowned out by people cheering her out. When I look at who has been behind her in the line the whole time, I see the girl from the coffee shop next door. I have had a little crush on her for a while. She says that was the most amazing thing she has ever seen, and asks me out!)

    He’s Got Bigot Written All Over Him

    | Absecon, NJ, USA | Bigotry, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

    (I am a 20-year-old girl, with several tattoos. Only the clover on my wrist is visible. An older customer comes in at least once a week.)

    Older Customer: “What happens when you get older and the tattoo looks bad?”

    Me: “That’s part of the experience of having a tattoo; it grows with you. Plus, I’m Irish, so it’s part of my heritage. It’s not like I’m going to regret it.”

    Customer: “Yes, you will. When you get old, it will get ugly, and you’ll hate it.”

    Me: “Sir, no offense, but it’s my heritage. That is not something I will hate. And even if it does get ugly, the rest of me will be wrinkled too. And really, it isn’t any of your business or concern what I do to my body.”

    (A male coworker comes up, who also has a visible tattoo. The customer says nothing to him.)

    Me: “What about his tattoo?”

    Customer: “Oh, it doesn’t matter; he’s a man. Women just shouldn’t get tattoos. They’ll make them ugly later on.”

    Of Waiting And Berating

    | Gardena, CA, USA | Health & Body

    (I am visiting my doctor’s office. There is some extensive road work going on in the surrounding area, so several people have arrived late, including me. The office is extremely busy and crowded, and the receptionist is looking very harassed.)

    Receptionist: “Unfortunately you arrived more than 15 minutes late for your appointment. The doctor won’t be able to see you now. However, if you’re willing to wait, we can fit you in at the next available window, or you can reschedule.”

    Me: “Okay. I’ll wait.”

    (I take a seat and begin to read. Meanwhile, another lady goes up to the receptionist.)

    Receptionist: “Unfortunately you arrived outside of the 15 minute window we allow for your appointment, so the doctor won’t be able to see you now. If you’re willing to wait, we can fit you in at the next available slot, or we can reschedule you.”

    Customer: “That’s ridiculous! I was only two minutes past the 15 minute window! I shouldn’t have to reschedule just because of two minutes!”

    Me: “Then maybe you shouldn’t have been 17 minutes late.”

    (The customer glares at me, but continues to rant at the receptionist.)

    Customer: “Why should I have to arrive on time anyway? You doctors don’t understand what it’s like for us, always having to wait! We always have to wait for you doctors; it should go both ways! You should wait for us! With as much as I’m paying, you should wait for us!”

    Me: “Look, lady, I was late for my appointment, too. That was my fault, and I accepted it like an adult. In case you hadn’t noticed, this clinic is very full today and the doctor is too busy to wait for you to decide to show up! Now you can either sit down and wait like the rest of us, or reschedule and leave!”

    (The customer goes and sits down. She continues to rant about how unfair this is, and how much more important her time is than the rest of ours. After about 10 minutes, she stands up again.)

    Customer: “I can’t wait this ridiculous amount of time!”

    (She reschedules with the receptionist. The best part? They found an open slot for my appointment only 15 minutes later!)


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