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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    He’ll Be In The Afterlife After The Birth

    | CA, USA | Health & Body, Holidays, Spouses & Partners, Top

    (It is Halloween. The hospital staff have put up decorations, but they’re minimal. I’m trying to wheel a patient who is in labor, to the room she was assigned, along with her husband.)

    Patient’s Husband: “We should put her in the room with the witch hanging over the door.”

    Me: “I’m sorry. That room’s actually a different size. I’m supposed to take you to room 79.”

    Patient’s Husband: “But that room has a ghost. She wants a witch.”

    Me: “The only room we have with that decoration is half the size of this one, and doesn’t have all the same equipment in it. This is the room you paid for.”

    Patient’s Husband: “It has to be a witch. She’s been real nasty all week.”

    (As she hears her husband say this, the wife is looking less and less pleased. She is a week overdue, and has been in for false labor pains the past two weeks.)

    Me: “That’s interesting, but there aren’t any decorations inside the room anyway. What is inside this room is a much wider space for the doctor and nurses to provide her with better care.”

    Patient’s Husband: “She wants a witch, so put her in the room with the witch.”

    (Finally, the patient has had enough and speaks up.)

    Patient: “Shut up. I want to get this kid out in whatever room the people who know what they’re doing think is best, you dumb troll!”

    Bright Red For Other Reasons

    | Glasgow, Scotland, UK | Crazy Requests, Health & Body, Top

    Customer: “Helloooo! I’m at the desk!”

    Me: “Oh, sorry, you just walked in. I was just coming to see to you !”

    Customer: *demanding tone* “I’m wanting go bright red, okay?!”

    Me: “Well, I will take you over first, then we can have a proper consultation.”

    Customer: “Right then!”

    Me: “If you are wanting to go bright red, we would need to strip the colour out because you are jet black.”

    Customer: “Well, I don’t want that; it hurts when it gets stripped! I want bright red now, from the poster! I’m the customer; I’m always right!”

    Me: “Well, I have been doing hairdressing for two years, and to be honest, it doesn’t hurt because it won’t be on your scalp.”

    Customer: “Well, I’m still right. If you put the red on, it will work!”

    Me: “Okay, then.”

    (After I apply the color to keep her happy…)

    Customer: “Where is my f***ing bright red hair?!”

    Me: “I told you it wouldn’t work. As you said, you’re the customer, and you’re always right!”

    (She ended up keeping her mouth shut. Thankfully, she didn’t come back again!)

    Allergic To Common Sense

    | Citrus Heights, CA, USA | Extra Stupid, Food & Drink, Health & Body

    Me: “‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]! ‘Strawberries Wild’ for [name]!” *customer comes up* “Hey, here’s your ‘Strawberries Wild’.”

    Customer: “This doesn’t have strawberries in it, does it? I’m deathly allergic to strawberries.”

    Me: *blink* “…Let me make you a new smoothie…”

    Making A Loud A-pee-l, Part 2

    | MN, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body

    (As the bookstore I work for is closing down, we have started closing down the bathrooms. At this point, they’ve shut down one stall leaving only one left in the ladies room. I go in and there’s a rather long line for the single stall.)

    Customer #1: *comes running in* “Oh… oh no, is there only one stall?”

    Customer #2: “Yeah, but the line is moving pretty quick, though.”

    Customer #1: “Oh no! This won’t do.” *rushes out*

    (A few seconds later, Customer #1 comes back with two large paper coffee cups. She goes over to a corner, sets the cups on the floor, and drops her pants.)

    Customer #1: “Okay, everyone! I really have to go! I have a bladder infection so if I don’t go right now, it won’t end well for me. Nobody look!”

    (As she goes to drop her drawers, another woman comes out of the stall. I happen to be the next in line.)

    Me: “Please! Go ahead of me! Apparently, you need the bathroom more than I do!”

    Customer #1: “Are you sure? You probably have to go back to work. I’m okay with this.”

    Me: “Nope! Just go!”

    Customer #1: “Gee, thanks!” *shuffles into the stall with her pants around her ankles*

    Related:
    Making A Loud A-pee-l

    Two Ap-pee-sements For The Price Of (Number) One

    | OR, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I’ve gone to lunch break about an hour before. A kid is with his mom in the store. I tend to make a note of everyone I see in the store, and greet them as I pass, just out of habit. After lunch, the kid comes up to me.)

    Kid: “Where’s your bathroom?”

    (I look around and find his mother is not with him, or anywhere in sight. Seeing as I can’t make him wait, I decide to take him.)

    Me: “Follow me, please…”

    (On the way I keep an eye out for the mother, but I don’t find her. When we reach the bathroom, I stand outside the door so I can make sure he’s okay. Just as he is finishing up, his mother finally shows up and looks frantic.)

    Mother: “Is my son in there?”

    Me: “Yes, ma’am. He’ll be out in just a moment.”

    (At this point the kid runs out and hugs his mother.)

    Mother: *to child* “I’m going to tie you up from now on. You gave me a heart attack!” *to me* “Thank you so much.”

    Me: “No problem, ma’am. I’m glad I could help. Have a nice day and thank you for shopping at [store]!”


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