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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    The Opposite Of Disappearing Ink

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like this prescription is expired.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “The law says we can’t take prescriptions this old.”

    Customer: “But you said it’s expired. Where does it say that?”

    Me: “It doesn’t, but see the date? That’s several months old. We couldn’t fill it now if we tried.”

    Customer: “You’re telling me if I’d brought this in exactly as it is just a few months ago, you’d have been able to take it?”

    Me: “Theoretically, yes.”

    Customer: “So why won’t you take it now? Nothing’s changed!”

    Me: “Except today’s date, sir. The prescription expired a few weeks after it was written. You can even see the disclaimer written at the bottom.”

    Customer: “So why doesn’t it notify me when it expires? It ought to say ‘expired’ on it!”

    Me: “Um… the paper isn’t going to magically print the word ‘expired’ if you wait too long to bring it in.”

    Customer: “Well, it should!”

    Making A Spectacles Of One Self

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am working in the emergency department. I am tending to an elderly woman who is accompanied by her middle-aged daughter. The woman’s daughter has just sent a text.)

    Daughter: “Well, I hope he can read what I typed, because I can’t see anything without my glasses.”

    Mother: “You do know that you have a pair of glasses on your head, don’t you?”

    (A look of embarrassment crosses the woman’s face, and her mother bursts out laughing hysterically. I smile and turn to the mother.)

    Me: “It’s nice when someone else does that for a change, isn’t it?”

    (The mother has a big smile on her face.)

    Mother: “Yes, it is!”

    Hairy Situations Test Your Mettle

    | Rotterdam, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I have very long hair, which I wear in a tight bun per regulation, and I am quite obviously female. A customer walks up to me, but my back is turned.)

    Customer: “Sir?”

    (I continue my work, thinking she’s talking to a coworker nearby.)

    Customer: “Sir?”

    (I still don’t pay attention, so the customer taps my shoulder.)

    Customer: “Sir?”

    (I turn around.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    (The customer is clearly surprised.)

    Customer: “Sorry! Can you tell me where [item] is?”

    (I point the customer in the right direction. Later on, I’m cleaning one of the registers. The same customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Sorry about before. I really thought you were a guy.”

    Me: “That’s okay.”

    Customer: “You should really doing something about that hair. It makes you look too masculine.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “You look like one of those metal heads.”

    Me: “Since when do metal heads wear their hair in buns?”

    Customer: “Never, but you still look like one!”

    You Say Tomato, I Say Epinephrine

    | ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am on a lunch date with my boyfriend, talking to a waitress.)

    Me: “I’d like no tomatoes on my sandwich please; I am allergic.”

    (This is a lie; it’s just to ensure they don’t end up on my sandwich.)

    Waitress: “Is your allergy mild, major, or severe?”

    Me: “Major.”

    Waitress: “Okay, and you wanted the fries with that? Would you like ketchup or cajun mayo for dipping?”

    Me: “Ketchup.”

    Waitress: “Of course. Our manager may stop by your table to discuss your allergy with you.”

    (The waitress leaves.)

    Me: *to my boyfriend* “Why would the manager talk to me?”

    Boyfriend: “You said you were allergic to tomatoes. But you ordered ketchup with your fries.”

    Me: “…Oh. S***!”

    (I walk up to the waitress, who has just finished talking on the phone.)

    Me: “Was that the manager you were just talking to?”

    Waitress: “Yes.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry; I’m not actually allergic to them. I just wanted to make sure they absolutely didn’t end up there; I despise raw tomato. But then I went and ordered ketchup with my fries, which was really stupid.”

    Waitress: *laughs* “I’ve seen stupider. Don’t worry about it; there won’t be any tomato on your sandwich.”

    Related:
    You Say Potato, I Say Epinephrine

    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 4

    | FL, USA | Awesome Customers, Family & Kids, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Top

    (My mother takes my younger brother and me out to a restaurant for dinner. As we are eating we witness a car crash in the road. My mother, being an LPN (licensed practical nurse), leaves her meal to rush across the street to offer help. We are seated by an elderly couple right next to a window.)

    Elderly Man: “Did your mom just go out there to help them?”

    Me: “Oh, well, she’s a nurse. Pretty much anytime an accident occurs and she’s there, she tries to help.”

    Restaurant Proprietor: “That’s your mother out there?”

    Little Brother: “Yeah. Our mom’s a nurse, so she went to help out.”

    Restaurant Proprietor: “Wow! How cool!”

    (My mother spends the next 30 minutes out in the middle of traffic, helping both drivers with their injuries, and waiting until EMTs arrive. She comes back in, and we resume our meal like nothing has happened.)

    Elderly Woman: “Are they okay?”

    Mom: “Yeah, but the poor girl – her parents are out of town. She has to wait in the hospital for them to come and see her. She pulled out, and that guy pulled out in front of her and rammed her car.”

    Elderly Woman: “Well, at least they’re okay.”

    (Another 20 minutes pass while my mother finishes her meal and the check is brought out to us. As the proprietor from earlier leaves the check, the couple next to us get up to leave.)

    Elderly Man: “Let me tell you something…”

    (He quickly snatches the check off of our table.)

    Elderly Man: “If I were in an accident like that and needed help, I would want you to come and help me. Anyone who selflessly dodges traffic to help someone like that deserves to have their meal paid for. I hope that if one day I’m in an accident I have you there for me.”

    (Despite my mother’s protests, the man pays the bill without even glancing at the total. When we go to the front to explain ourselves, the cashier isn’t surprised.)

    Cashier: “Oh, that’s Bill. He’s a regular here. I’m not surprised he did that. He’s a real sweetheart. He was actually on his first date with that girl!”

    (If you ever read this, Bill, you moved my mom to tears that day. You have forever made me want to be a better person! It’s people like you that re-instill my hope in humanity.)

    Related:
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 3
    Why Nurses Should Rule The World, Part 2

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