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    Category: Health & Body

    Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

    Blood Money

    | NY, USA | Health & Body, Money

    (A customer walks up to my teller window, and throws two rolls of pennies down. They are covered in wet blood. I try not to look disgusted.)

    Me: “Sir, I’m sorry; I can’t accept that.”

    Customer: “Why not? It’s good American money.”

    Me: “I’m sure it is, but it’s covered in blood; I’m not going to touch that.”

    Customer: “It’s fine; it’s just my blood.”

    Me: “Excuse me while I get my manager.”

    (I happily escape to the back to try to settle my stomach while the manager talks to the man.)

    Manager: “Sir, we can’t accept these pennies like this.”

    Customer: “It’s perfectly good American money!”

    Manager: “Yes, but we can’t take it like this. If you like, I can give you new wrappers. You can re-roll the pennies, and then we can deposit them for you.”

    Customer: “F*** this country! My money isn’t good in a bank; it isn’t good anywhere!” *storms out*

    The Opposite Of Disappearing Ink

    | USA | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but it looks like this prescription is expired.”

    Customer: “What do you mean?”

    Me: “The law says we can’t take prescriptions this old.”

    Customer: “But you said it’s expired. Where does it say that?”

    Me: “It doesn’t, but see the date? That’s several months old. We couldn’t fill it now if we tried.”

    Customer: “You’re telling me if I’d brought this in exactly as it is just a few months ago, you’d have been able to take it?”

    Me: “Theoretically, yes.”

    Customer: “So why won’t you take it now? Nothing’s changed!”

    Me: “Except today’s date, sir. The prescription expired a few weeks after it was written. You can even see the disclaimer written at the bottom.”

    Customer: “So why doesn’t it notify me when it expires? It ought to say ‘expired’ on it!”

    Me: “Um… the paper isn’t going to magically print the word ‘expired’ if you wait too long to bring it in.”

    Customer: “Well, it should!”

    Making A Spectacles Of One Self

    | Chicago, IL, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body

    (I am working in the emergency department. I am tending to an elderly woman who is accompanied by her middle-aged daughter. The woman’s daughter has just sent a text.)

    Daughter: “Well, I hope he can read what I typed, because I can’t see anything without my glasses.”

    Mother: “You do know that you have a pair of glasses on your head, don’t you?”

    (A look of embarrassment crosses the woman’s face, and her mother bursts out laughing hysterically. I smile and turn to the mother.)

    Me: “It’s nice when someone else does that for a change, isn’t it?”

    (The mother has a big smile on her face.)

    Mother: “Yes, it is!”

    Hairy Situations Test Your Mettle

    | Rotterdam, The Netherlands | Crazy Requests, Health & Body

    (I have very long hair, which I wear in a tight bun per regulation, and I am quite obviously female. A customer walks up to me, but my back is turned.)

    Customer: “Sir?”

    (I continue my work, thinking she’s talking to a coworker nearby.)

    Customer: “Sir?”

    (I still don’t pay attention, so the customer taps my shoulder.)

    Customer: “Sir?”

    (I turn around.)

    Me: “How can I help you?”

    (The customer is clearly surprised.)

    Customer: “Sorry! Can you tell me where [item] is?”

    (I point the customer in the right direction. Later on, I’m cleaning one of the registers. The same customer walks up to me.)

    Customer: “Sorry about before. I really thought you were a guy.”

    Me: “That’s okay.”

    Customer: “You should really doing something about that hair. It makes you look too masculine.”

    Me: “What do you mean?”

    Customer: “You look like one of those metal heads.”

    Me: “Since when do metal heads wear their hair in buns?”

    Customer: “Never, but you still look like one!”

    You Say Tomato, I Say Epinephrine

    | ON, Canada | Food & Drink, Health & Body

    (I am on a lunch date with my boyfriend, talking to a waitress.)

    Me: “I’d like no tomatoes on my sandwich please; I am allergic.”

    (This is a lie; it’s just to ensure they don’t end up on my sandwich.)

    Waitress: “Is your allergy mild, major, or severe?”

    Me: “Major.”

    Waitress: “Okay, and you wanted the fries with that? Would you like ketchup or cajun mayo for dipping?”

    Me: “Ketchup.”

    Waitress: “Of course. Our manager may stop by your table to discuss your allergy with you.”

    (The waitress leaves.)

    Me: *to my boyfriend* “Why would the manager talk to me?”

    Boyfriend: “You said you were allergic to tomatoes. But you ordered ketchup with your fries.”

    Me: “…Oh. S***!”

    (I walk up to the waitress, who has just finished talking on the phone.)

    Me: “Was that the manager you were just talking to?”

    Waitress: “Yes.”

    Me: “I’m really sorry; I’m not actually allergic to them. I just wanted to make sure they absolutely didn’t end up there; I despise raw tomato. But then I went and ordered ketchup with my fries, which was really stupid.”

    Waitress: *laughs* “I’ve seen stupider. Don’t worry about it; there won’t be any tomato on your sandwich.”

    Related:
    You Say Potato, I Say Epinephrine


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