October Theme Of The Month: Halloween!

Category: Health & Body

Stupid customers in stories are bad enough. However, dealing with a customer’s health issues may be hazardous to your own health! Please consult your doctor before continuing.

Hair + Arm = Harem

| Sacramento, CA, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(My uniform exposes my arms that, for a woman, are hairy.)

Customer: “Wow, you have hairy arms.”

Me: *embarrassed* “Um, yeah.”

Customer: “I love women with hairy arms.”

(He grabs my arm and feels it. I am shocked, and start backing away from him.)

Customer: “Would you like to join my harem of hairy women?”

(At that point I abandoned my post and ran to my manager. When we came back the customer was gone.)

Wouldn’t Wish Him On Your Worst Enema

| Berkeley, CA, USA | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(A customer wanders around drug store for half an hour, feeling too embarrassed to ask where the enemas are.)

Employee: “Hi. Can I help you?”

Customer: “Uh, I’m looking for an enema bag.”

Employee: “Oh… you want a bag? We have some bags.”

(I lead the customer to a small case full of purses in the cosmetics section.)

Employee: “Here are the bags.”

Customer: “Do you know what an enema is?”

Employee: “No…”

Customer: “I’ll ask someone else.” *leaves drug store*

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 7

| Toronto, ON, Canada | Health & Body, Rude & Risque, Theme Of The Month

(While I’m cleaning the men’s washroom, a regular has walked in.)

Me: “I’m sorry. I’ll just be a minute longer and then you can use the washroom.”

Customer: “Nope. Gotta go now.”

Me: “Well, then, I’ll leave and finish when you’re done.”

Customer: “Nah, don’t worry. I don’t have anything to hide.”

(I only just managed to get out of the room before he finished opening his pants!)

On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 6
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 5
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 4
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 3
On The Need For Hazard Pay, Part 2
On The Need For Hazard Pay

Bound(ary) To Serve

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(We have a regular that comes in every Wednesday or Thursday night. This time, I’m on the register when he comes in. I am female, wearing a knee-length tunic over linen pants as it’s high summer and very warm.)

Customer: *without saying hello* “Are you pregnant?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Customer: “I was wondering if you were pregnant. Are you?”

Me: “I don’t see how it’s any of your business, but no.”

Customer: “It’s just that I had a haircut today, and my hairdresser was wearing a similar outfit to you. She was four months pregnant and got angry at me because I didn’t notice or say anything. So now I’m wondering, do all women wear what you wear when they’re pregnant?”

Me: “I’m not sure why your hairdresser had such a strong reaction, but I’m pretty sure most women are wearing what I’m wearing right now because its 45 degrees celsius outside and not because it’s a secret code that we’re reproducing.”

Customer: “Oh, good point. Sorry, I didn’t mean to be rude by asking personal questions.”

(The very next week, he returns and again walks right up to the register.)

Customer: “Do you have a boyfriend?”

Me: *sigh* “Yes.”

Customer: “Are you going to marry him?”

Me: “Okay, sir, I think we need to have a quiet chat about boundaries…”

Sadly They Aren’t Cracking A Joke

| St. George, UT, USA | Bizarre, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I work in customer service at a very large store. One day a customer comes up to me looking very upset and holding his cell phone in his hand.)

Customer: “I need to see a manager.”

Me: “Certainly! I’ll call them over now. May I ask what you need to see a manager for?”

Customer: “I need to file a complaint about an employee.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll call the manager over now.”

(The manager takes the customer to the side to talk, but I can still hear them.)

Manager: “What can I do for you?”

Customer: “I was browsing your store when I saw an employee stocking shelves. His butt was hanging out of his pants. Look!”

(The customer holds up his phone, and he has actually taken a picture of my coworker’s butt crack hanging out of his pants!)

Manager: *stifling laughter* “I’ll talk to that employee and make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

(He never talked to said employee.)

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